CoachApply Master for Jacksonville Public Library

Confrontational Leader

Suggested Strategy: Using a Permission-Based Question paired with a

Third- Party Question, you can bring the individual’s awareness to the

perception of the way they approach others without bringing about

defensiveness.

Suggested Questions:

→ Permission-Based Question + The Sword: “With your permission, and

without assuming your intention, I would like to share some observations

with you that I have made that might provide an opportunity for you to

grow as a manager.” When permission is granted, share your concerns

as perceptions to avoid seeming directive.

→ Third-Party Question: If we were to ask your team how they would

describe your approach to conversations with them, what do you think

they might say and why?

Suggested Activities:

→ Role Play: Practice scenarios where the individual might typically seem

confrontational or aggressive in a role play setting to give them an

opportunity to analyze their tone without being put on the spot outside of

the safe space of your meeting. Present the individual with specific

situations to practice with you, and afterward have them give themselves

feedback on what they feel they did well in balancing their directive

approach with sensitivity or a conscious effort to be persuasive rather

than confrontational.

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