Pathways_SU22_Digital Magazine

Everyone (adults and children) encounters abysses, apparent gaps between our desires and expectations, and the “what-is” of daily life. Obstacles range from minor hiccups to cataclysmic stoppages in the unfolding of life. Life seems to be fraught with abysses — these deep, seemingly bot- tomless pits that appear out of nowhere. Whether they manifest in our world — in our relationships with others or in our relationship with ourselves — they all require inner work. They show up as stunning contrasts between where we have been and where we are, between how we thought life was going to unfold and how it actually has. These comparisons can stop us in our tracks. Trying to reconcile those dreams and expectations with pres- ent-day reality may be overwhelming. Our old illusions of stability can be shattered by breaches in relationships. Most of us do not face phys - ical chasms, yet we connect with the all-to-familiar gut grabbing of free-falling into nothingness. Confronted with rifts in the continuity of our relationships, the resulting chaos permeates our entire lives. Our identity in the world is changed when someone dies, a relationship craters, a career takes an abrupt turn, or when illness or loss of ability totally alters our understanding of who we are. Those things to which we have been attached are no longer there. We must redefine and re - invent ourselves. How we span these abysses makes all the difference in how effec - tively we grow through the experiences. You will note I did not say how quickly. William Bridges, author of Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, points out what he calls “neutral zones” — the time between an ending and a new beginning — as ripe with powerful op- portunities to transform, rather than jumping from one situation to another taking our baggage along. In our western society, we tend to rush. If we must change due to circumstances, we want to get it over with, get on with life. There is much dialogue about recognizing and facilitating “process”, but we tend to be more results oriented. We re- ject experiencing the process in favor of swiftly and efficiently being changed. Yet the process of transformation holds the rich rewards of change. It requires slowing down, honoring and experiencing the pro - cess. We may cope with abrupt change, adapting (or not) in order to go on living; but by avoiding what I prefer to call the “learning zone,” we rob ourselves of the opportunity to be truly alive. Bill Bridges differentiates between change and transition. Change is outside, circumstantial. Transition is the inner work necessary for growth. We each employ strategies that are uniquely ours, however they contain threads and patterns we share with other humans. Some, regardless of age, glide through transitions without resistance, intui- tively guided to lean into the healthy steps of acknowledging, accept- ing, opening to guidance, revealing creative solutions and taking ac- tion. Our age colors our approaches when changes happen. The very young tend to be only lightly attached to what was; so moving to what- is, is rather fluid. As we grow older, the depth of our attachment to “how things ought to be” deepens. Adolescents, with all their hormon- al changes in full bloom, run the gamut. Change can demagnetize their internal compass and threaten their sense of safety, causing them to swing wildly between being highly resourceful and adaptable, to taking deep dives into drama. Adults may revert to emotional adolescence, try to mind-muscle their way through change, or voluntarily enter the process of transition. Some adults and the more elderly often contex- tualize how they address change. They may bring a greater sense of what truly matters to them, which may make it easier to release some earlier attachments. Depending on the circumstance, such as the loss MIND-BODY-SPIRIT Spanning the Abysses of Life BY TRISH HALL

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Eileen Strange Messages to You through "Me”

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www.thesoulshepherd.com 443-838-9147 Intuitive Empath Psychic Medium Medical Intuitive Empath Coach

58—PATHWAYS—Summer 22

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