FINDING THE RIGHT HIGH SCHOOL STARTS WITH FINDING SELF BY KRISTEN VILHAUER, High School Counselor
Among the many things Cathedral School for Boys does so well is to establish a reset at a natural point, the start of Upper School. It is a brave new world whether a boy is joining in fifth grade or has been at Cathedral since Kindergarten, and as much a physical reset as a mental and emotional one. Fifth grade provides an ideal opportunity to embrace the new: new teachers, a new director, new subjects, and new classmates. Classrooms are located in a new part of campus. A class of 24 becomes two classes of 18, with the new additions sprinkled among the current students in advisory groups and classes. And in that mix, the line between who is “new” and who is not blurs relatively early on in the school year. For my son, the first few weeks of school brought a spirit of newness (that I imagine all of the fifth graders felt) as Upper School provided opportunities not available in Lower School. Each day, my son bounded out of school with a blur of updates. He was running for Student Government, joining the Cross Country team, playing Chess, and signing up for Math Olympiad. One exciting afternoon, he piled into the car with a borrowed amplifier and a bass guitar three times his size. He was going to join the band. His joy in these new discoveries was contagious. So I did the only thing I knew how to do: I jumped in too. That’s the funny thing about being embraced. It’s not complete until you hug back. It starts small: organized play dates where new parents forged easy bonds because we were all asking the same questions about uniforms and Hymn Sing. And then it grows: a one-off offer to help sell t-shirts or greet grandparents on Special Friends Day. Before I could blink, I had become an Admissions Ambassador and a basketball team parent. So much for easing into a new situation. While each opportunity became another step forward into the Cathedral community, I was most surprised by the openness of the cozy, tight-knit class we were joining. I figured the estab- lished and more seasoned parents had little need to make new friends. But one long-time Cathedral mom of three let me in on a little secret: After five years with 23 other boys and families, everyone is excited to meet the new kids. They were craving new opportunities and friendships. I had not considered this perspective. Yet it became increasingly clear every time I met another parent. Their curiosity and warmth were genuine; they wanted to learn about my son, his family, and our choice to come to Cathedral midstream. On the flip side, as an Admissions Ambassador, I shared my experience as a new fifth- grade parent and identified with prospective families who were exactly where I had been a year before, wondering if they were making the right decision to change schools. It dawned on me that in offering my skills, my knowledge, and my backstory, I was becoming part of the Cathedral community.
Opening Day dismissal: All smiles
When I drafted this article, I asked a few students who joined the Class of 2023 in the fifth grade to describe what they felt when they first arrived at Cathedral. “Confused,” “weird,” “scared,” “nervous.” Yeah, me too. Then I asked them to share how they felt once they settled into the year. “Comfortable,” “happy,” “welcomed,” “befriended,” and (my favorite), “like I had always been a part of CSB.” Yeah, me too. Tucked into the pews of Grace Cathedral for the opening ceremonies on that first morning, the butterflies in my stomach were wide-awake. I watched my newly minted fifth grader—my Cathedral Boy—march into Grace Cathedral, and felt a warm hand steady my shoulder. It was the wise parent who had shared how happy the community was to welcome us, how excited they too were to meet and face the new. She helped me see that no matter where we had come from or when we joined Cathedral, the community was at the ready to embrace and welcome in, and that this was new for everyone in the class. Sure, there was a lot ahead of us to navigate (looking at you, COVID-19), but in that moment I knew there would be plenty of room for new stories and memories. And my son’s backstory would be all the richer because of this new chapter. Special thanks to Class of 2023’s Kian Perrone, Parker Wong, Nolan Chong, and Thorne Wyman, who contributed to this article.
Class of 2020
26 | CATHEDRAL SCHOOL FOR BOYS
FALL 2020 • RED & GOLD | 27
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