CURRICULUM
W hen students of Classics aren’t trying to seem more intelligent, or quoting Latin to uninterested classmates, they are most often found justifying the existence of their subject. ‘Why do you study a dead language?’, ‘Why are you wearing a bed-sheet to a party?’, ‘Why are you rubbing yourself with olive oil?’ The answer to these frequently asked questions is a simple one. As historical theorists have argued for centuries, the only way of fully understanding the present is by studying the past, in order to gain some insight into how it is that we arrived here. In the same way that one can never fully appreciate the subtle allusions of Shakespeare and Milton CLASSICS The Origins Of Western Boredom Cameron Forbes
without having explored their Roman influencers, like Ovid and Virgil, a thorough study of Western philosophy – once described by Alfred Whitehead as merely a ‘series of footnotes to Plato’ – demands a reading of those Ancient Greek texts which form its foundation. To study Classics doesn’t resign you to gawking blankly at indecipherable texts for the rest of your intellectual life; it opens the door to studying Art, Literature, History, Politics, Architecture, Archaeology, Philosophy, Linguistics, Geography and more – all shrouded in 2000 or more years of mystery and interpretation. Besides, who doesn’t love being pretentious?
MATHS Just Use A Calculator Connor Hughes
M aths shows us the logical mechanisms of our day- to-day lives in ways that may not be perceived as at all practical, but which definitely are; the potential complexity yet simultaneous simplicity of our world seems impossible to the mind of a mere mortal. Maths goes beyond the self and explores the fundamental truths of our universe, all of which can be derived by the number one. On the other hand, it also teaches you that you’ve got to do a phat amount of past papers; you owe your life to the guy that made examsolutions.net, and Single Maths takers will get mercilessly mocked by Further Maths boys if they struggle with anything – even if it’s C4, which is actually really hard. Seriously. Everyone knows Maths will always be the best subject, a magical gateway to employment (says the not-at-all tendentious advice issued from a not-at-all compromised mouth). I would also add that choosing Maths certainly leads to the most fun at A-level; I do a Humanities subject, a Language and Maths and it is beyond question that Maths requires the least amount of homework
Choosing Maths certainly leads to the most fun at A-level
– which, as a good mathematician, I know equals more time to go out with the lads (you come to discover that all the cool kids are found in the Maths block). Moreover, Maths does not require you to grapple with your very soul: the profound, existential questions blighting English lessons give way, instead, to: ‘Err, do Exercise 3D, Questions 1-5. Come to me if you have any questions’.
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