IDENTITY
‘They’re just like that’: crushing the male stereotype
This academic year began with the Senior Prefects launching the Equality Society and ended with news that other schools were considering gender-neutral uniforms. Issues of identity, whether of gender, nationality, religion or even our humanity in the face of new technology, have dominated conversation at Dulwich and beyond, with young people asking the most searching questions. In response, The Alleynian editorial team wrote and commissioned a series of articles on the theme of identity. First off, Aidan Williams (Year 13) explores the multiplicity of masculinity and enters the discussion around what it means to be ‘a man’ in today’s society
W hen I dressed up as a kid, the ‘Snow White’ dress was my favourite. As a boy with two older sisters, perhaps a sense of traditional masculinity wasn’t properly drilled into me until I got through primary school. Perhaps five-year-old me wasn’t astute enough to notice that dresses were usually worn by girls. Surely, though, something as trivial as a piece of fabric shouldn’t define our understanding of gender? In 2014, there were 4,623 male suicides, averaging at 12 men per day taking their own lives across the UK. According to Samaritans, ‘Masculinity – the way men are brought up to behave and the roles, attributes and behaviours that society expects of them – contributes to suicide in men’. Even before they can choose for themselves, male toddlers are given blue clothes and toys over pink ones, the action
figure over the Barbie doll. And when they can choose for themselves, boys and girls are polarised by advertising to conform to gender stereotypes. Adverts for Hot Wheels, for example, traditionally feature a male voiceover and generate a combative atmosphere, encouraging the brash, testosterone fuelled ‘boy’s-boy’, which so many young boys strive to become. Rebecca Asher, author of Man Up: Boys, Men And Breaking The Male Rules , argues that young boys and girls mostly cluster in the centre where their genders are less defined, but then are polarised to gender extremes through the way they are brought up. These days, such arguments can perhaps seem unsurprising, a product of well-established societal conventions. It is widely acknowledged that polarised genders can have many negative effects. Yet while the most obvious consequences of polarised
femininity – such as lingering societal expectations for women to be passive and submissive – are being discussed more widely than ever before (and rightly so), the downsides of polarised genders for men are often overlooked. Robert Stringer, a father of an 18-year-old man who took his own life, commented on unrealistic expectations placed on men. ‘Men should be dynamic, problem solving, in control, go-getting, vital, successful and soft – as and when required. Men’s magazines are about tight abs, not how you feel. Currently there is no real way of reaching men to discuss how they feel’. And while men are often encouraged to open up and be more receptive to discussing their feelings, many men feel that it is not socially acceptable to possess ‘female’ or ‘feminine’ qualities. In contrast, Tim Samuels, author of Who Stole My Spear? argues that although it is not all about
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