Psychologists suggest these ways to rebound from disappointments:
“I’m moving to LA to be a star! I am going to be an overnight sensation— I just know it!” Are your expectations realistic? If you base your expectations on desires instead of actual probabilities, your anticipated outcome will likely be way off.
Give it time. Studies show that experience and age lead to a higher tolerance of disappointment.
Gain wisdom from your losses. Figure out why your expectations weren’t met. What could you have done differently? What can you do now to make the situation better?
Take pride in your struggle. Sports fans who remain loyal to a team through years of bad sea- sons often relish supporting the underdog. When their team wins, it’s so much sweeter.
Retroactively adjust expectations. Reimagine that your initial expectations were more aligned with the eventual outcome.
“I didn’t really think I would win first place. Placing fourth is pretty good! Next time...”
Don’t make big decisions after a letdown—especially economic decisions. After a big disappointment, we tend to make hasty, pessimistic decisions. Let your emotions recalibrate before you do anything permanent.
“It feels like I lost out on a promotion, but the truth is, I never had it to lose. I still have the same job I was content with before with the same salary. I didn’t really lose anything at all.” after a disappointment is psychologically painful, but sometimes there actually isn’t a real loss. Question what was lost. The sense of loss felt
Compare with caution. Hoping to replicate the outcome others have can be a source of inspiration or frustration. Use comparison only as a source of education to encourage duplication. “We both enrolled at the same time. How come he’s a Senior Director and I’m not? I wonder how many calls he makes. I should compare activity instead of starting dates.”
Focus on the big picture. Disappointment is temporary. Figure out what comes next. Will you adjust your expectations and actions and try again? Will you close a chapter and walk away? Take a step back and remember what you want in the long run, not just what you wanted now.
As disheartening as disappointment is, it is a catalyst for action. When you reach the crossroads of disappointment, only you can choose which path you’ll take. Those who reach their goals don’t luck into it. Perseverance in the face of failure is the keystone of success. Learn to overcome disappointment faster and see your next success sooner. LH
The cr ssroads of bitter and better
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JANUARY 2018 | MELALEUCA.COM
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