COMMUTER TRAIN FROM NAPLES
R elax. Those tales of Mafiosi and trash-strewn streets are bunk. The only thing to beware in Naples is that there’s too much to do or see. Making decisions gets hard. Visit with the atti- tude that you’ll return soon, though the expression always leave the table a little hungry won’t apply in this foodie’s crack house. FIRST: ANCIENT ROMAN OVERDRIVE. Imagine taking a 40-minute Canadian subway ride (or Metro, SkyTrain, etc.) and disembarking 2000 years in the past. A nondescript commuter milk run from Naples’ chaotic Central Station stops at the very gates of Pompeii, just 22.5 rattling kilo- metres from 2023. Assuming you visit in the off-season to avoid the choking crowds — and evaporating amid these exposed roofless ruins — you can casually absorb Pompeii’s Insta-ssentials in four hours. Included? Two bath houses whose clever plumb- ing would embarrass modern Britain; the Forum, which presents a stunning vista of the still-active volcano Vesuvius (because it was flattened by it!); the Lupanare brothel with its porny menu of
services painted above its, umm, stalls; the big and small theatres with their Stairmaster-shaming gradients; the vast amphitheatre (of Floyd fame, man); and endless miles of gleaming stone roads.
Pause and listen. It’s haunting. BACK IN TOWN, IF NOT TIME.
Love history? Pompeii’s best-preserved wall paint- ings, statuary and mosaics were transported early for safe keeping in Naples’ National Archeological Museum. Go! Its other treasures range from ancient Greece (once a Greek colony, Napoli comes from Neapolis – New City) to the Renaissance. Give yourself two hours before succumbing to Stendhal Syndrome. Then walk ten minutes to two fascinating underground cemeteries. CATACOMBS: THINK YOUR JOB SUCKS? You’ll find i Catacombe di San Gennaro e San Gaudioso advertised separately, but one ticket includes hourlong tours of both. Long hidden for reasons of public safety, these subterran- ean ossuaries are lovingly guided by passionate volunteers.
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