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It is perfectly all righ t fo r a per son to marry someone five or ten years older or younger if both part ners are mature people and if both accept the difference in age. But it is unfortunate to take such a vital step and then go through life trying to compensate fo r it or pretend it does not bother us. You need to look at this problem very carefully and consider all as pects o f it. I would suggest that you wait fo r a while until you are sure that the problem is completely re solved in each o f your minds. Remember, differences in age do not matter in a marriage nearly as much as do our attitudes toward it. Take the long-range view, consider ing that our present attitudes may change in ten, twenty or thirty years. I f the problem is not faced and re solved before marriage, complexes and pretense may result through all the coming years and mar our happi ness. 4 4 T H I S F E L L O W C A L L E D " I " It is my endeavor to be patient and kind, When I see imperfection in a brother of mine, For I see in myself much room to im prove, As I search my own heart and watch e /ry move. I want to forbear, and forbearance I need, But don’t judge me harshly; your mercy I plead; Expect not from others that thing you can’t do; But do unto others, as if unto you. If you can’t conform to the Bible, my brother, It’s useless to try to reform then an other; We can’t always sell; sometimes we must buy; For it is not always you, but often ’tis I. The moral of this story I’m sure you can see: Before you judge others, take a good look at me; It will save you much trouble on your way to the sky If often you judge the fellow called “ I.” — Author unknown 4 4 4
FEATURE
talking it over... with Dr. Clyde M. Narramore
Dr. Narramort, graduate of Columbia UoivonHy, Nov York City, is a nationally known psychologist. Ho is the director of one of America's largest psychological clinks — The Christian Counseling center in Rosamond, California.
person could not be expected to un derstand tithing. Then there is another thought to consider. Marriage is a partnership, and as such, both husband w ife de serve a voice in financial matters. You might find that fo r a while it would be wise to tithe your part o f the fam ily income and pray that the Lord will speak to your w ife ’s heart. I f you are loving, kind and patient, I am sure the Lord will honor your prayer, win your w ife ’s heart— and in time win her pocketbook too! SHALL I MARRY A YOUNGER MAN? Q. I am a working girl employed in an office. I would like your advice on a problem. I have been going with a man who is six years younger than I am. We both attend the same church. Would I be happy if I should marry a man who is younger? I want happi ness. A . I wish I knew how old you are and how old the man is. Differences in age do not matter much i f both o f you are older and more mature. I think you need to project this some years ahead and say, “ Ten years from now, I will be — and he will be — years old. In twenty o r thirty years, how will each o f us feel about the difference in our ages? How both o f you feel about this is important, not only now, but in the future. I f you feel you would not have to go through life compensating fo r the age difference, it may work out all right. Otherwise it could seriously threaten your happiness. Also, you might ask yourself, “ Why would a man want to marry a woman six years older than he? What reasons are causing him to do s o ? ” I know a man, fo r example, who married a woman five o r six years older than he was. Now he spends a lot o f time telling people how much he loves his w ife when, actually, he really does not love her so much. He only says this in an effort to make up fo r the fa ct that he has married a woman considerably older than he.
WIFE DISAPPROVES OF HUSBAND'S TITHING
Q . I have been praying about this problem a long time. Because of it, I feel defeated in living a victorious Christian life. 1 am a Christian and believe in tithing and giving offerings above the tithe fo r the Lord’s work. The problem arises because my w ife doesn’t believe in tithing. She thinks if we give a dollar a week, that’s enough. I can’t believe this is right, and I ’ve told her that whether she agrees or not, I w ill continue to tithe. Now she is threatening divorce, the loss of my home and my children. I don’t want a divorce, but I ’m afraid the courts might grant one on the grounds of her complaint about my tithing. What shall I do? I need your ad vice, please. A. I can appreciate your concern over the matter o f tithing. But actu ally. your problem is a b igger one than just tithing. Evidently you have an unhappy marriage. I f your marriage rela tionship were more satisfying, your w ife would probably be less con cerned about how much you give to the Lord. I would suggest you seek help in straightening out your mar riage. You could have a few sessions with your pastor, a Christian psy chologist or marriage counselor. Then I am wondering if your w ife really knows the Lord as her own personal Saviour. When a person loves the L o r d .Jesus Christ, he is happy to tithe. I remember when as a child I heard a great minister say, “ When God really has your heart and life. He will also have you r pocket- book.” When we reach the point in our spiritual growth when we love God more than anyone, we consider it a privilege to give back to Him all we can. W e want to support our fine Gos pel churches. Christian institutions and other efforts which spread the good news o f salvation around the world. But, o f course, an unsaved
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TH E KING'S BUSINESS
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