Kinds of LOVE Do\bu Want?
By DR. MASUMI TOYOTOME
There is hardly a person in the world who does not want to be loved. The security and satisfac tion of being loved by some one is basic to a happy life. Yet, we know very little about love or how to seek it. Rarely are we told in understandable terms what love is. Not many have at tended a class on love or read a helpful book on it. This most im portant, indispensable thing in life has been strangely neglected in our education. There are at least three kinds of love. It may be helpful to discuss these three kinds of love. One's happiness may depend on which of these kinds one is seeking.
I. THE "IF" KIND OF LOVE The first is what I call the "if" kind of love. It is the love which will be given to us "if" we meet certain requirements. "If you are good, father will love you." "If you give me gifts, I will love you." "If you become successful and impor tant, I will love you." "If you prom ise to marry me, I will give you my love." "If you come up to my ex pectations as a husband, I will be your faithful wife." This is the most common kind of love, and some may not know any other kind, it is love with strings attached, the conditional love, the love offered in exchange for something the lov er wants. Its motivation is selfish; Page 37
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