of monkeys: SEE NO EVIL, HEAR NO EVIL, SPEAK NO EVIL ; but this one had a fourth monkey with his hands over his balls: FUCK NO EVIL . City of hardheads. City of rough tongues. You’re a gweilo right to your face, meaning a white goblin or foreign ghost or old devil or any number of other things, according to how it’s said (none of the meanings being complimentary). You can give back as good as you get, however (or try to, since gweilos are famously dim). For instance, the Cantonese really can’t distinguish l s from r s . “Ah, you ordered flied lice,” said Annie’s gweilo husband, Hugh. “That’s fried rice, you plick,” said Annie. I met two women who seemed barely into their twenties but were the publisher and the sales manager of a prominent Hong Kong business magazine. Publisher: “You’re really well-dressed.” Sales manager: “For a journalist. We understand you’re a popular writer.” Publisher: “In Japan.” City of straight faces. I was looking at some animal figurines representing Chinese astrological signs. The ancient woman behind the shop counter asked, “What year you born?” “1947.” “ Hwa-aaah. Year of pig! Good luck!” “Oh, ‘Good luck! Good luck!’” I said. “That’s what Chinese always say to shopping gweilos. Stolen Ming dynasty grave offerings: ‘Good luck!’ Can of tuna fish: ‘Good luck!’ Lacoste shirt: Good luck!’” “Not so!” she said. “Some years bad luck.” “Such as?” “Year of buffalo.” “Which year is that?” “This one.” “This one” being 1997. I had come to Hong Kong to watch the best contemporary example of laissez-faire be surrendered to the biggest remaining example of socialist totalitarianism. Hong Kong was (and to be fair to its new commie rulers, remains, for the moment) socialism’s perfect opposite. Hong Kong doesn’t have import or export duties, or restrictions on investments coming in, or limits on profits going out. There’s no capital-gains tax, no interest tax, no sales tax, and no tax breaks for
Made with FlippingBook - professional solution for displaying marketing and sales documents online