Maybe your next therapist shouldn’t be a therapist
MIND-BODY-SPIRIT
Since the pandemic widened the divide between people, politi- FDOSDUWLHVDQG$PHULFDQVXEFXOWXUHVLWVHHPV,¶YHEHHQRQDUROOHU - coaster, alternately longing for connection and retreating into myself. 2QWKLVZLOGULGH,¶YHEHHQJUDWHIXOIRUFUHDWLYHFRDFKLQJDQGWHDFK - ing strategies that help me ground my relationships with authentic bridge-building, compassion and courage. %HIRUH,VKDUHVRPHRIWKHVHVWUDWHJLHV,ZDQWWRHPSKDVL]HRQH important idea: we need both connection and retreat to navigate the FKDOOHQJHV RI RXU WLPH $V KXPDQ EHLQJV ZH FDQQRW QHJRWLDWH WKH FKDQJHVZHIDFHZLWKRXWUHODWLRQVKLSV FKDOOHQJLQJDQGQXUWXULQJ and personal time to assess and regroup as we learn our way forward. The real problem is the rollercoaster, making these necessary explo- rations feel like brutal oppositions, with its furious and frightening, confusing and chaotic highs and lows. When we get overwhelmed by the rollercoaster, we get stuck on a WUDFNWKDWOHDGVXVQRZKHUHIDVW6RRXU¿UVWWDVNLVWRMXPSR̆ WKDWLQ - fernal carnival ride, and make our own path! We can learn to balance VHOIUHÀHFWLRQ DQG UHVW ZLWK FRPPXQLW\EXLOGLQJ DQG FRQQHFWLRQ ,W just takes a daily commitment, checking in with ourselves and being honest about our own needs and calling. If we are to be healers in the world, we must tend to ourselves with the compassion and courage we bring to our bridge-building relationships. 7KDWVDLGHYHQZKHQZH¿QGRXUEDODQFHKHDOLQJFRQQHFWLRQIHHOV ERWKQHFHVVDU\DQGDOLWWOHELWGDQJHURXVLQRXUSRODUL]HGZRUOG$VD FRDFKDQGHGXFDWLRQDOHTXLW\WUDLQHU,¶YHXVHGWKUHHVLPSOHVWUDWHJLHV to stay focused on what is most important in that challenging process RIEXLOGLQJUHODWLRQVKLSV $QRWHKHUH WKH\¶UHVLPSOHEXWQRWHDV\,Q order for them to work, we need to develop habits that support healthy SHUVRQDOERXQGDULHVOLVWHQLQJVNLOOVDQGVHOIDZDUHQHVV%XWWKHJRRG news is that these coaching strategies can help us build those relation- VKLSKDELWVDORQJWKHZD\ $ JRRG FRDFK RU IULHQG QHJRWLDWRU RU EULGJHEXLOGHU XVHV WKUHH EDVLF VWUDWHJLHV WR EXLOG WUXVW DQG UHVSHFW DQG ¿QG RXW ZKDW VKHQHHGVWRNQRZLQRUGHUWREHRIVHUYLFH DVNLQJJUHDWTXHV - WLRQV FRFUHDWLQJDSODQRIDFWLRQ DQG OHWWLQJWLPHGRLWV work. Together, these strategies support a strong connection in- IRUPHG E\ PXWXDO DXWKHQWLFLW\ DQG WKDW PDNHV DOO WKH GL̆ HUHQFH Ask Great Questions :HVWHUQFXOWXUHHPSKDVL]HVWKHSRZHURINQRZOHGJHDQGDVDUH - sult, we often associate good leadership with sharing information. 8QIRUWXQDWHO\WKDW¶VWKHOHDVWH̆ HFWLYHZD\WRSHUVXDGHRWKHUVPXFK OHVVEXLOGDUHODWLRQVKLSRIWUXVWDQGUHVSHFW:KDW¶VUHDOO\QHHGHGLV IRUDOHDGHU RUIULHQGRUQHJRWLDWRURUEULGJHEXLOGHU WRXQGHUVWDQG DQRWKHUSHUVRQ¶VSHUVSHFWLYH$VNLQJJUHDWTXHVWLRQVPDNHVWKDWXQ - derstanding possible. $JUHDWTXHVWLRQLVDVSHFL¿FNLQGRITXHVWLRQ,WRSHQVXSWKHSRVVL - ELOLW\WKDWWKHDQVZHUFRXOGVXUSULVHERWKSHRSOHLQDFRQYHUVDWLRQ,W¶V asked without anticipating the answer, or suggesting what that answer VKRXOGRUFRXOGEH,WDOVRDYRLGV\HVQRELQDULHVIRFXVLQJLQVWHDGRQ opening possibilities of discovery and exploration. For example, when talking with someone who expects me to con- WUDFWWKHP,UHVLVWR̆ HULQJLQIRUPDWLRQVKDULQJP\JRRGLQWHQWLRQV RUDVNLQJFRQIURQWDWLRQDOTXHVWLRQVOLNH³:KDWDUH\RXDIUDLGRI"´RU ³:K\ZRXOG,GRWKDW"´,QVWHDG,DVNTXHVWLRQVOLNH³:KDWDP,PLVV - LQJKHUH"´RU³+RZGLG\RXOHDUQWKDWZDVVRLPSRUWDQW"´RU³:KDWDUH WKHFRUHYDOXHVWKDWJXLGH\RX"´7KHVHTXHVWLRQVQRWRQO\VKRZ,DP willing to be vulnerable, but also that I want to have a conversation about what matters to them. Once you ask an open-ended question, you must make your inten- tion credible by listening unconditionally. Follow up questions will suggest themselves naturally, for both of you. If you respect a person Bridging Differences: Coaching Strategies To Build Healthy Connection Every Day BY CAROL BURBANK
Eric Weinstein It’s Not Therapy (It’s Problem Solving)
Did you know that: • Licensed therapists are limited to certain approaches by “standards of care” that leave out a number of highly effective healing modalities? • Even if you’re paying out-of-pocket for your sessions, your therapist might be unable to use anything “different” because of insurance company requirements and state regulations? I’m not a therapist, but I always have therapists among my clients. They come to me for: • the most ancient healing modality (shamanic healing) • proven, but less conventional modalities (hypnosis/ NLP and Eye Movement Integration [similar to EMDR, but gentler]) • the most exciting new energy modalities (Energy Psychology, such as EFT or “tapping” on meridian points, biofield work, and chakra manipulation) • intriguing coaching modalities (including Motivational Interviewing, True Purpose coaching, and Archetypal coaching) And they come for all the same problems they’ve seen one of their more conventional colleagues for – as well as problems of a spiritual/energetic nature. So, whether you’re struggling with the newer stresses of the pandemic or with older issues that keep you from being who you want to be, call to find out how I can help.
Have questions or want to set a video appointment? Call 703-288-0400 or email
eric@its-not-therapy.com Serving the DC metro area and Anne Arundel county from offices in Reston VA and Annapolis MD.
Read more about how I can help you at www.Its-Not-Therapy.com
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PATHWAYS—Fall 22—21
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