College – Issue 29

his outfits worn during the Spring Festivals held every other year, but one that ‘springs’ to mind is an immaculately dressed Captain Cook. This behaviour extended to the annual Common Room parties which always have a theme. Two years ago he would easily have passed as a street vagrant forced into the WWII underground shelter (which was the temporary Common Room under the Open Air block, dubbed the bunker), mixing it with a diverse representation of English society while carnage occurred above. At Richard Bromley’s farewell function, it was Simon and Jane’s suggestion of having an ’Allo ’Allo theme, which proved incredibly popular. Sometimes Simon would really go all out, and staff all remember the infamous doughnut concept as a metaphor for College’s future. Simon treated us all with doughnuts as he outlined that what makes a doughnut unique is the hole in the middle. He was quite right, of course, but we all strained to establish what it was about College that made it unique, trying to block out, and yet relate to, the analogy of the hole in a doughnut. I appreciated the fact that if Simon was invited to join a group of staff for a social time on a Friday afternoon, he would do his best to get there. He then did his best NOT to talk about school, although staff (myself included) were often guilty of bending his ear on some pressing College issue. Perhaps to encourage more staff to pop out for a beer on a Friday, he generously offered to shout for any staff that turned up at the Pegasus Arms if his eldest son, Ben, beat his best-ever time in the New York Marathon. As it turned out, the weather for the marathon was atrocious, and Ben was literally only a minute or so shy of the mark, still running an incredibly impressive time. But Simon still fronted up and dipped into his pocket to shout the largest group of staff ever to

turn up on Friday. Several times I suggested it was time to close the bar tab, but did he listen? Sadly, no, but his over-the-top generosity was hugely appreciated. In return he was rewarded with the photo he wanted; a picture to send to Ben of 30 staff, all sporting Ben’s marathon entry number that Simon had printed off and brought along with him. But it is not all about dressing up and enjoying social occasions. Simon is an impressive speech- writer. He is incredibly well read and writes elegantly, supporting his points with numerous interesting quotes. Similarly, his off-the-cuff speeches at morning tea or staff meetings are superbly constructed and the points are well communicated. He may have slightly misjudged his younger audience at times, perhaps at prize-giving, but many of the parents will have been appreciative of his oratory skills. And, lastly, Simon is up for physical challenges. Most impressive were his trips up to Temple Basin Ski Lodge to observe the Year 12 biologists at work studying zonation patterns in alpine plant communities. On the last occasion, Simon drove up early in the morning, walked up the mountain (by himself), fully immersed himself in what was happening, including a climb to the top of the mountain, stayed overnight and left at sunrise in not only torrential rain, but also following a track that overnight

had become a water-slide of significant proportions. It was only when we left ourselves some five hours later in fine conditions that we realised just what a challenge it was 20cm deep water for most of the track, flowing downhill. One can only imagine the challenges that await in Malaysia. I am sure Simon will seize these challenges with the same enthusiasm he has shown for all things at College. We wish him and Jane safe journeys.

- Graeme Worner

An Old Boy remembers

2013 Head Prefect Harry McCormick gives his take on Mr Leese Where do you start on a piece about your former Headmaster? Where do you begin on what is essentially the Holy Grail of anecdotal writing? The chance to convey some thoughts on

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Christ’s College Canterbury

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