Social Sizing Up Joseph Rodriguez, Our Lady of Victory Parish, Fresno Joseph Pulido, St. Paul Catholic Newman Center, Fresno One day while having a laid-back and unplanned conversation with my friend Joe Rodriguez, we unexpectedly began discussing a phenomenon that occurs when someone meets a person for the first time. We were attempting to describe and name the emotional and intellectual process that occurs when you meet a new person and try to figure out if a new person is a friend or foe. Joe and I decided to call this phenomenon, “social sizing up.” Social sizing up is natural. It is a survival mechanism which we have in order to preserve our safety and well- being when we meet someone new. Living in society we encounter all kinds of
Our Catholic faith calls us to be wise and faithful. Wise, in the sense that it is good and necessary to socially size up a new person for safety and wellbeing. Yet, we need to be faithful to the Gospel by treating people with dignity and open-mindedness. Once we feel safe around a new person, we should interact with others as Sisters and Brothers in Christ without regard to their looks or social status. This does not mean that we must become best friends with every new stranger we encounter, however, we are called to treat people fairly and to offer a similar quality of interaction. If too often we only interact with new people based
on what we can gain from them, in the long run, we are the ones who lose out. Socially sizing up people for status or financial gain leads to superficial and empty relationships. If our social interactions with others rests on what we can acquire, in time, when those superficial things disappear, it will reveal that our initial
people. We never know when the new person that we are encountering is a potential new friend or acquaintance or a person we need to avoid. Although social sizing up is necessary and natural, we must be careful that we do not misuse our ability to socially size up a person. Social sizing up can lead to treating people as things rather than persons.
Once we feel safe around a new person, we should interact with others as Sisters and Brothers in Christ without regard to their looks or social status
friendly interactions were indeed superficial. Perhaps, it might be a good practice for us all to examine our motives and intentions when we meet a person for the first time. Is our friendliness on account of authentic intentions to get to know the new acquaintance or do we have secret motives up our sleeves? When we interact with new people based on sincere intentions of wanting to get to know the actual person and see Christ in them, this leads to a truly enriching life.
When socially sizing up a new person, we might secretly take notice that the new acquaintance is dressed up in expensive clothing, driving a luxury car, and looks beautiful by our standards. We might quickly shift to being unusually nice and friendly with this new person in the hopes of gaining something from this attractive well-to-do acquaintance. On the other hand, when we socially size up a person who is dressed in simple clothing and looks a bit messy, we might secretly tell ourselves that there will probably be nothing that I can gain from this person, and thus will probably avoid them or else hold back any type of extra friendly interaction.
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Fall 2023
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