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The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 APRIL | 2024
RECLAIMING YOUR JOY
SELF-CARE ESSENTIALS FOR DIVORCEES
It can feel as if our time is divided between countless distractions and tribulations during the turbulent moments in our lives. During a divorce, our obligations to our children, employers, and family members can become daunting. When we are overwhelmed, it is difficult to remember that we also have a fundamental responsibility to take care of ourselves. This April 5th is National Self- Care Day, and you should know that taking time for self-care can help reduce stress and anxiety. Here are some self-care tips to help you feel like yourself again. MAKE THE TIME It is important to set aside some time to work on your well-being. The average person only spends about 15 minutes on self-care per day. If you are waiting for the perfect time to focus on yourself, you need to realize that time may never come. Just like you schedule your workday, with meetings, breaks, and deadlines, you should schedule time for self-care. This does not mean you have to take hours each day, but even a half hour of reading a book you have been eager to get started on, listening to your favorite music, or taking some time to relax after a hard day of work can all go a long way. SLEEP IS ESSENTIAL With so much going on in your life, it may seem like you can get more done by cutting sleep. However, that time you think you are saving by losing out on rest is not worth it. Sleep deprivation can worsen your mood and metabolism, leading to strained relationships and an expanded waistline.
Catching up on your sleep can help reduce stress and get more done during your waking hours, but distractions and diet can make it difficult to get the rest you need. If you are having trouble getting to sleep, cutting back on your sugar
and caffeine intake as well as your screen time in the hours before bed may help.
GET SOME EXERCISE While exercising benefits your physical health, it can also help improve your mood and reduce stress. Even if you can’t make it to the gym regularly, going for walks, stretching at home, or playing casual sports can help you stay in shape and take a step toward establishing a sustainable self-care routine. If you are intimidated by the idea of working out in public, know that we are all in different stages of our lives, and
comparing yourself to others can make anyone feel inadequate. The only way to improve is to take the first step toward bettering yourself.
Getting into a healthy self-care routine does not happen overnight, and it is not something you have to accomplish on your own. Accept yourself for who you are, and know that asking friends and family for help can make a world of difference. Everyone struggles to take that time for themselves, but the effort you put into your self-care will be rewarded with improved physical well-being, emotional health, and renewed motivation to seize the day. —John Bledsoe
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MANAGING SOCIAL MEDIA DURING DIVORCE
AVOID SELF-SNITCHING Divorce attorneys will scour your social media accounts to find damaging posts, pictures, and comments. Regardless of your motivation for doing so, posting pictures of yourself partying, drinking, or using illegal narcotics can be catastrophic to your case. In addition to worsening your image and reputation, it can also impact your negotiating position when it comes to the division of assets and child custody. BE HUMBLE If you do not want to end up paying more to settle your divorce: avoid showing off. While you may be excited about a promotion or change in your living situation, bragging about it on social media can only do harm. If you post a picture of yourself flaunting money, newfound assets, or symbols of wealth that you did not disclose during your divorce, that evidence may be used to alter
agreements related to the division of assets. When it comes to divorce, it pays to be humble.
GO PRIVATE You should consider cutting back on the amount you post on social media during your divorce. If you do not want your social media accounts to be scrutinized, consider making your accounts private, and removing friends and family with close ties to your ex-partner. While you do not have to remove your accounts entirely, deactivating them temporarily may be the safest option. Once your divorce is settled, you can always reactivate your accounts. While social media can be a fun way to waste time, it can also be a serious concern during your divorce. If you want the best outcome for your divorce case, then heed the advice of your attorney and avoid making damaging posts on social media.
Many people enjoy spending time on social media, whether scrolling through the news, looking at friends’ pictures, posting about a recent trip, or gawking at memes. While not everyone uses it regularly, research shows that three in four Americans aged 30–49 have used Facebook, and 59% of them have used Instagram. That means the majority of us have some social media presence, and your behavior online can have ramifications in real life. Did you know that one in seven divorces is caused by social media? More than being the root cause, social media can also impact divorce proceedings and damage your case. Here are some tips to prevent you from being your own worst enemy on social media.
The Allure of Hot Springs Earth’s Geothermal Wonder
Soaking in the heated waters of a hot spring is an experience you’ll want again and again once you try it. And there is much more to this geothermal wonder than meets the eye. The naturally heated, mineral-rich water nourishes the body and mind, allowing you to shed stress as you easily float on the surface. HOW HOT SPRINGS WORK Hot springs are heated by geothermal energy. Water meets volcanic hot rocks, resulting in boiling mineral-rich water. Regions far away from volcanic activity can also have hot springs; those occur when a spring runs so deep that it hits rocks close to the Earth’s crust. These rocks are naturally very hot, which then heats the water. HOW MINERALS AND HEAT IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH The water in hot springs contains a plethora of minerals, so the water can be healthy and rejuvenating, providing benefits for your skin, cardiovascular system, and more. Every spring has a unique mineral makeup and varied health effects, but here are four of the most common. • Improved Blood Circulation: Minerals like calcium, iron, and sodium bicarbonate are great for blood circulation, as they promote oxygen flow. • Radiant Skin: Nitrogen, silica, and other minerals are excellent for exfoliating skin. • Less Stress: As the warm water melts stress away, the magnesium and lithium improve your mood.
• Pain Reduction: Sulfate helps reduce pain, while hot water soothes muscles and reduces inflammation.
WHERE YOU CAN FIND HOT SPRINGS The western part of the U.S. has a higher concentration of hot springs, but if you look hard enough, you can find one anywhere. Some hot springs are deep in the mountains, so you’ll have to hike in. They often have spectacular views and are worth the journey. If you don’t want to trek up a mountain, you’ll find many spas built around hot springs that offer amenities besides the spring, such as restaurants and saunas. So, the next time you’re traveling, locate the hot springs in your area and put a visit on your itinerary!
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W ord S earch
Divorce Demystified
ARBOR ARIES
3 RULES CALIFORNIANS SHOULD KNOW When it comes to divorce, every state does things a little bit differently. California’s unique divorce laws can have a large impact on your case. Understanding what sets this state apart can give you the upper hand, and help you achieve the best possible settlement. If you are going through a divorce in California, here are three rules you need to know. 1. DIVORCE WAITING PERIOD While divorce proceedings can seem to drag on forever, in California, they must last at least six months. This is because California has a six-month waiting period — starting from the time a divorce is filed — before a divorce can be finalized. Even if arrangements between spouses, such as the sharing of financial information, agreement on the division of assets, and child custody and support, are agreed upon, until the waiting period has elapsed, the divorce cannot legally be finalized. 2. TWO TYPES OF PROPERTY In California, a judge has to approve how property and debts will be divided. You may think that everything you own counts as property so long as it legally came into your possession in the first place. However, as far as the law in California is concerned, all property falls into one of two categories: community property and separate property.
BASEBALL CHERRIES CHOCOLATE DAISY DIAMOND ENVIRONMENT GARDEN KITE
RAINBOW SHOWERS
Craveable Carrot Cake
Community property includes anything you earned or
purchased — as well as any debt you took on — while married. On the other hand, separate property is what you earned or purchased, as well as any debt you had, before getting married; additionally, any gifts or inheritance received
INGREDIENTS •
2 cups all-purpose flour 2 tsp baking powder
• • • •
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
• • • • • •
4 large eggs
1 tsp baking soda
3 cups grated carrots
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp salt
•
Cream cheese frosting (optional)
2 cups granulated sugar
DIRECTIONS 1. Preheat oven to 350° F. 2. Grease and flour a 9x13-inch pan. 3. In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt. 4. In a large bowl, beat together sugar, oil, and eggs. 5. Gradually add dry ingredients to wet ingredients, stirring until blended. 6. Stir in carrots and walnuts. Pour batter into prepared pan. 7. Bake for 35–40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. 8. Cool in pan before serving. (For extra decadence, spread with cream cheese frosting once the cake cools.)
during your marriage are also considered separate property.
The difference between the two is important, because a judge will generally allow you to keep separate property, whereas community property will be divided between you and your spouse. 3. NO-FAULT In some states, it must be proved that a spouse is at fault before a divorce can proceed. However, California is a “no-fault” state, which means that a couple can get divorced without proving spousal fault for the breakdown of a marriage. You are free to file for divorce regardless of why you would like to dissolve the marriage. If no one is at fault, you may cite irreconcilable differences when petitioning for divorce.
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Inside
Prioritize Your Well-Being With These Self-Care Tips
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Why Social Media Restraint Is Key for Divorcees
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Discover the Healing Wonders of Hot Springs
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Cracking California’s Divorce Code
Craveable Carrot Cake
Teen Hero Saved His Sister With a Slingshot
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SLINGING JUSTICE
How a 13-Year-Old Stopped a Kidnapper
In the quiet city of Alpena, Michigan, a young hero emerged on a sunny May afternoon. Owen Burns, a 13-year-old with remarkable courage, became the talk of the town after he used a slingshot to save his 8-year- old sister from a suspected kidnapping. Owen’s sister was in their backyard when a man emerged from the nearby woods. The man approached the little girl, covered her mouth, and held her tightly to his chest. He didn’t know that Owen was watching and ready to act in his sister’s defense.
a state of panic and screaming, and she was crying, and the only word I could make out of the whole conversation was ‘kidnap.’”
Owen’s heroic actions were crucial in bringing the suspect to justice. Lt. John Grimshaw, Alpena post commander, commended Owen, stating, “What he did helped us identify who the suspect was because, obviously,
he had injuries from getting hit with a slingshot. To see that and pop into action that quickly is extraordinary, and he should be commended for it.”
The suspect, a 17-year-old from Alpena, was eventually located by state troopers, thanks in part to the slingshot injuries. He now faces charges of attempted kidnapping, assault, and battery. He was charged as an adult due to the severity of his actions. Owen’s bravery left his parents feeling “extremely proud and forever grateful.” Andrew Burns reflected on the gravity of the situation, saying, “Once it all set in, it kind of hit pretty hard because it could have been a whole different outcome.”
Owen recounted the chilling moment, saying, “Her mouth was closed, and he was hugging her on his chest. My sister kicked him, and then he started running after her.” Owen didn’t hesitate; he sprang into action with his slingshot.
Owen loaded marbles and rocks into his slingshot and aimed at the assailant. He fired three precise shots, hitting the suspect in the head and chest, causing the assailant to flee the scene.
The shock of the incident left Owen’s parents, Andrew and Margaret Burns, in disbelief. Margaret recalled the chaotic scene, saying, “They were in
Owen made it clear that he would not hesitate to protect his sister again, saying, “If it does happen again, I’ll do it again.”
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