Tradicija / tradition
so the children will resemble her family. Wa- ter should be poured behind her, to ensure her life flows easily, a glass should be stepped on and broken so she will give birth easily, while she should pull the noses of girls who have gathered so they will also wed quickly. Even the rosemary isn’t without reason – the bride’s girlfriends decorate guests with it because its strong scent is believed to coun- ter unclean forces. And what about the bou- quet? Brides today select it to be the pretti- est, but they used to carry herbs to protect against spells. Nor is anything by chance when she ar- rives at the groom’s home – her mother-in- law gives her a sieve with wheat, flour and sugar that she must spill on all four sides, saying“this is for life, for health, for progress, for a fruitful year”, then she throws the emp- ty sieve onto the roof, as an investment in a happy marriage. Then, so she will bear male children, her mother-in-law offers here a na- konče – a young male child from the groom’s family. It is said that in the Vranje area moth- ers were always reluctant to give a child as nakonče if even the slightest doubt existed regarding the bride’s virginity, as it was be- lieved the child would not live long if she wasn’t pure. And what about carrying over the threshold, which completes the marriage ceremony? According to an old belief, ances- tral spirits live underneath the threshold, so the bride, who is new to them, is carried so those spirits won’t hurt her. In the Sokoban- ja areas it is said that she should also then, at the door, lick honey from the groom’s fin- ger – for her husband to provide her with a sweet life. Even when the party starts, the dos and don’ts are known. The bride shouldn’t dance, so as not to draw attention to her- self – again due to spells and unclean forc- es – and she shouldn’t be too joyful either, to avoid jinxing the marriage. And even where there is no place for rules, there is an unusual ritual that still lives on in southern Serbia: on the wedding night, the mother- in-law will find herself in front of the new- lyweds’ room, where she remains until the emanating sounds convince her everything has gone as it should. The next morning she also peeks at the bed sheets to see if there are any traces proving the bride’s integrity. And then comes the moment when the newlyweds begin forging their own world, and getting to grips with the challenges of a shared life. And the wedding, with its magical rituals and ceremonies, serves as a pledge of a happy and fruitful marriage. And though today somewhat faded, these customs still continue to tell the story of the nation’s identity and of man’s primal need to endure as a couple.
drukčije, mladoženja je davao priličnu sumu kao nadoknadu za radnu sna- gu koju uzima iz kuće. Znalo se nekad, zna se i danas – mladu kad pođe iz kuće neko treba da pozove da se okrene kako bi deca ličila na njenu porodicu, za njom po- livaju vodu da bi joj život lako tekao, treba da nagazi na čašu i razbije je da bi se lako porodila, a okupljene de- vojke da povuče za nos da se što pre udaju. Ni onaj ruzmarin nije na sva- tovima tek tako – mladine drugarice njime kite goste baš zbog starog ve- rovanja da svojim jakim mirisom te- ra nečastive sile. A bidermajer? Mla- de ga danas biraju da bude najlepši, a i on je tu kao trag vremena kada se aromatično bilje nosilo protiv uroka. Ni u mladoženjinoj kući ništa nije slučajno – tek pristigloj snahi svekr- va daje sito sa žitom, brašnom i šeće- rom da ga prospe na sve četiri strane uz reči: „Ovo je za život, za zdravlje, za napredak, za rodnu godinu“, pa mla- da na kraju prazno sito baca na krov kao zalog za srećan brak. Da bi rađala mušku decu, svekrva joj potom pruža nakonče, muško dete od dve–tri godi- ne iz mladoženjine familije. Priča se da su u okolini Vranja majke oduvek nerado davale dete za nakonče ako je postojala i najmanja sumnja da mla- da nije devica jer se verovalo da dete onda neće biti dugog veka. A ono prenošenje preko praga, bez kojeg svadba ne može da prođe? Sta- ro verovanje kaže da duhovi predaka
žive baš ispod kućnog praga, pa po- što je mlada za njih nova, mladoženja je tu da je prenese kako je ne bi po- vredili. U okolini Sokobanje kažu da ona tad na vratima treba i da poliže med sa mladoženjinog prsta – da joj muž pruži sladak život. Čak i kad veselje poč-
There was also an order for inviting guests: today’s invitations used to be Buklia, which still circle Serbia Šta su danas pozivnice, ranije je bila buklija, koja, eto, i dalje kruži po Srbiji
ne, zna se šta i kako. Tako mlada na svadbi ne treba da igra da ne skreće pažnju na sebe, opet zbog uroka i nečastivih sila, a i ne tre- ba mnogo da se raduje da ne bi izbaksuzirala brak. Pa i tamo gde pravilima me- sto nije krije se jedan ne- svakidašnji ritual, još živ na jugu Srbije: prve bračne noći svekrva se tako, slučaj- no, nađe baš pred vratima mladenačke sobe i ostane
tu dok po zvucima znalački ne za- ključi da je sve prošlo kako treba. A ujutru usput virne i u postelju da proveri ima li tragova, ima li doka- za mladinog poštenja. I eto ga trenutak kad mladenci polako počinju da kroje jedan novi svet, onaj svoj, i da se hvataju uko- štac sa izazovima zajedničkog živo- ta. A svadba sa svojim magijskim ri- tualima i obredima je tu kao zalog srećnog i plodnog braka. I mada da- nas pomalo bledi, ovi običaji i dalje pričaju priču o identitetu naroda i o iskonskoj čovekovoj potrebi da tra- je udvoje.
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