bonton i nepisana pravila: za muštuluk se išlo u prikladnoj odeći, bez remećenja porodičnih navika, posebno noću; bez euforije ako je porodica u žalosti; bez odlaska na njivu gde se završavao neki neodložan i važan posao. Oni koji su da- rivali imali su problem prilikom izbora poklona, a počesto i dilemu: da li poklon uručiti odmah ili kasnije muštulug- džiju darivati vrednijim poklonom. Stara mudrost kaže da darivanje više koristi onome koji daje nego onome koji pri- ma. Kod našeg naroda, svaki muštuluk je bio velik onoliko koliko je veliko srce i dubok džep, ali u oskudici i nemaštini teško je naći pravu meru i ostati dostojanstven i ponosan. Bilo bi previše navoditi šta se sve poklanjalo. U zavi- snosti od imovinskog stanja, vrednost muštuluka je varirala od običnih vunenih čarapa do niski dukata, parcele zemlje, šume i slično. Iako u teskobi, devojke su uvek za radosnu poruku od svog dragana darivale više nego što su imale i mogle. Decu i omladinu najteže je bilo darivati. Ipak, za rođenje deteta dobijali su vredne stvari, najčešće dukate. Postoje primeri da su imućnije porodice darivale decu si- romašnih porodica vrednim poklonima i tako preko mu- štuluka pomagale svojim komšijama i rođacima. O tome koliko je naš narod cenio i poštovao muštuluk govori činje- nica da se sve moglo zaboraviti, prećutati, ali obećani dar za muštuluk bila je svetinja koja se nije smela ignorisati. Muštuluk je primer nemoći sadašnjosti da sačuva na- sleđene darove prošlosti. Tradicionalni model života je iz- menjen i zamenjen drugim sadržajima. Standard života i tehnološka revolucija menjaju njegovu fizionomiju i pra- vila. I ono malo koliko je prisutan u svakodnevici današ- njih ljudi, pretvara se u svoju negaciju, sa banalnom kono- tacijom, dok se u nekim našim selima muštuluk održava onoliko koliko se oseća potreba za njim. U modernoj vari- janti, muštuluk se naselio na raznim društvenim mrežama; na lokalnim elektronskim medijima muštuluk se traži pu- tem pozdrava i čestitiki; lekari koji porađaju žene uzimaju muštuluk od njihovih muževa; studentske službe, pa i sa- mi profesori, informišu roditelje studenata o rezultatima na ispitima; očevima novorođene dece cepa se košulja; za muštuluk se brije glava...
of wedding guests at the house of a bride to be, for the return and arrival of newlyweds. In some Tamanavian villages, horse races be- tween muštuluk givers are still organised even today. Vuk Karadžić noted: Before the wedding guests, the muštuluk givers come for muštuluk, and they re from several ri es and say that the guests are coming and bringing the girl. The muštuluk giver should be giv- en muštuluk: a pretty scarf or a shirt. In rarer cases, muštuluk can have a strong dramatic dimension, as it indicates strong excitement and a quaking of the soul. In deal- ing with emotions known only to a mother’s heart, there have been tragic consequences: without the capacity to accept the full amount of extreme emotion, sudden change and stress, hearts have been known to fail. This is recorded in the epic folk song “The Enslave- ment of Janković Stojan”, and other works of poetry and prose. In each village, with identical character and mentality, where every- one is well-acquainted, this was considered and led to avoidance of taking muštuluk from parents subjected to stressful emotions. So, muštuluk also had a hidden tragedy, a contrast of emotions, from joy to extreme sadness. With muštuluk, where the value of a gift was a measure of joy, there is no bargaining on either side, there is no discussion and agree- ment about giving. No compromise is made here. Ignoring muštu- luk is a major disgrace and humiliation, and our people would nev- er allow themselves to experience that, nor to forgive it. This custom had its own etiquette and unwritten rules: people went for muštuluk in appropriate clothes, without breaking family habits, especially at night; without euphoria if a family is in mourning; without heading to the eld where some urgent and important job was completed. Those who gave gifts had a problem when choosing the present, and often a dilemma: whether the gift should be handed over im- mediately, or whether the muštuluk giver should be given a more valuable gift later. Old wisdom says that giving is more bene cial to the giver than the receiver. In our nation, every muštuluk was as big as the size of the heart and as deep as the pocket, but in times of scarcity and need, it is dicult to nd the right measure and to remain digni ed and proud of oneself. It would be too much to list everything that was gifted. De- pending on property ownership, the value of muštuluk varied from ordinary woollen socks to low-valued ducats, plots of land or for- est etc. Despite being in diculties, girls always gave more than they had and could aord for a joyful message from their beloved. It was the toughest for children and youngsters to give. However, for the birth of a child they received valuable gifts, most often duc- ats. There are examples of wealthier families giving valuable gifts to children from poor families, thus helping their neighbours and rela- tives through muštuluk. Testifying to how much our people valued and respected muštuluk is the fact that everything could be forgot- ten and left in silence, but a promised gift for muštuluk was sacred and dare not be ignored. Muštuluk is an example of the powerlessness of the present to preserve the inherited gifts of the past. The traditional model of life has changed and been replaced with other contents. The standard of life and the technological revolution change its physiognomy and rules. And the little that is present in the everyday lives of peo- ple today is turned into negation, with banal connotations, while in some of our villages muštuluk is maintained to the extent to which a need for it is felt. In the modern variant, muštuluk has found its place on various social networks; via local electronic media, muštu- luk is sought through greetings and congratulations; doctors who lead birthing processes take muštuluk from husbands; students’ services, and even professors themselves, inform the parents of stu- dents about exam results; the fathers of new-borns have their shirts ripped; heads are shaved for muštuluk…
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