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going to accidentally bankrupt the entire company,” laughs Sarah, a payroll coordinator. “I’d triple-check everything, then check it again at home on my laptop. My partner thought I’d developed OCD.” At this stage, payroll rents about 95% of your available brain space. You’re learning software, legislation, internal processes, and trying to remember that yes, PAYE does actually mean what you think it means. You’re asking questions constantly, taking notes like your life depends on it (because technically, several hundred people’s livelihoods do), and having minor panic attacks every time the HMRC website refreshes. If you’re lucky, you’re in a company that recognises this learning curve. They’ve got proper training, patient mentors, and realistic expectations. If you’re unlucky? Well, you’re Googling “how to process a P45” at midnight whilst wondering if it’s too late to retrain as a florist. The Toddler Years: Confident But Chaos Lurks You’ve found your feet. You know the monthly rhythm. You
processing 50 salaries or 5,000, that feeling when the director asks if payroll will be ready ‘on time’ never gets old.” This scene played out during National Payroll Week, a celebration that began as a UK phenomenon but has found its way into calendars globally. Yet this year’s conversations have taken an interesting turn. Some seasoned professionals question whether we need a designated week to celebrate what should be recognised as mission-critical year-round. The Newborn Stage: Fresh-Faced and Terrified Remember your first payroll run? Neither do most of you, you’ve maybe blocked it out for self- preservation. “I spent my first three months convinced I was
The toddler stage is deceptive. You’re competent enough to be trusted, but inexperienced enough that every exception feels like a personal attack on your sanity.
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GLOBAL PAYROLL MAGAZINE ISSUE 17
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