SPECIAL OCCASION WORDS Herman came home one day to find that Mae had to punish Michael for using some bad words. Michael sat on his Daddy’s lap and Herman asked him what kind of bad words he had said. It was a little difficult to recognize the words from Michael’s enunciation. He said that his boyfriend Drew had called him a shit- head and that he was going to kick him in the ah and something else. Herman explained to the boys that if they wanted to grow up and be like Daddy that they shouldn’t use such words because their Daddy doesn’t use them. The boys agreed that they wanted to be like Daddy. Then Michael said, “But if Drew calls me a poo-poo, I’ll call him one.” Frankie was once building a log cabin outside our house. A couple of his six-year old playmates were with him. Frankie told them he made the most beautiful buildings, better than anyone. His playmates told him they didn’t think he was that good. When he finished the cabin he said, “Isn’t that beautiful?” In unison they said, “We hate it.” Frankie, the sensitive architect, told them what he thought of their opinion. That night Michael told his father what Frankie had said. “He called them a shootyhead.” Frankie immediately corrected his brother, “I called them a shittyhead.” BROTHERLY LOVE Michael and Frankie needed a referee among themselves but let someone outside lay a hand on either one and they would protect and defend each other. Frankie came in all excited one day. Louis, a little ruffian of a neighbor about eight years old, was bothering the boys. Frankie said, “Louis is fighting us real hard but I got muscles now because I ate my spinach like Popeye.” With that he took his toy Popeye spinach can and tucked it inside his jacket. Then out he went again to fight Louis. I guess the spinach can gave him extra confidence. Not long after Michael was in the back of the house screaming his head off. I ran to the kitchen window to see what happened and he told me that his friend, Drew, hit him on the face with something real hard. I told him his Daddy had taught him how to fight and that he should go find Drew and
Frank and Michael
hit him back. Michael went into the garage and got his folding chair. He put it across his back in such a way that it was concealed from the front. Then he yelled for Drew, “Drewy, I have a surprise for you.” Putting it down on paper can never capture how Michael sounded when he said that. He made it sound as if he had a present for Drew. Later I asked him if he hit Drew back. “Yes,” he said, “With the chair.” I had promised to give him a licking if he hit anyone with the chair, but I didn’t. NOW I LAY ME DOWN . . . Michael once reported that Captain Kangaroo said on his TV show that before you go to bed you
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