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LOVE THAT FINDS A WAY HOW GRANDPARENTS CAN STAY CLOSE THROUGH CUSTODY CHALLENGES
Grandparents play a special role in their families, providing encouragement and love, and often stepping in when parents can’t. Despite the care they provide, grandparents don’t automatically have legal rights to their grandchildren, not even if the parents lose custody or they are the biggest source of stability a child has. October is Family History Month, and it feels like a perfect time to discuss the legacy and impact of grandparents, not just as keepers of stories and traditions but also as active caregivers and emotional anchors. Though grandparents can often be left on the outside looking in during custody battles or divorce, they can still stay connected and continue to make a difference, even when the legal system makes it difficult. One of the most important roles I see grandparents playing is how actively involved they are in their grandchildren’s routines. They offer emotional and financial support to the parents, take on childcare responsibilities, and help keep things running smoothly when parents are stretched thin. In custody cases, courts look at the parents’ overall support system. Are they working full time? Is there someone nearby who can help? Is there extended family around if a parent is considering relocation? Grandparents can be part of that picture, even though it may not be to the extent they wish. If a parent loses custody, legally speaking, there’s no real way for grandparents to get access back. Grandparents can stay involved by maintaining healthy relationships with both parents, not just their own child. This helps prevent access to grandchildren from being ripped out from underneath them. In volatile divorces, grandparents who navigate relationships on both sides can become a source of calm, bridging the gap between exes. Beyond that, they have very little legal control, so relationship-building is the best thing they can do. The only areas where we see grandparents gaining legal rights are dependency or guardianship cases, when the state steps in due to abuse, neglect, or unfit parenting. Limited time and strained family dynamics can make it hard to stay connected. Grandparents can maximize their time with the kids and help shelter them from what’s happening with their parents. They can help make a difficult transition easier and serve as a conflict-free zone. Grandparents
can also be healthy outlets for their adult children, providing stress relief and breaks. They can try to keep the peace as much as possible, being a source of level-headedness with the child’s best interests at heart. As their children go through a divorce, grandparents can experience a wide range of feelings. In some cases, they may have seen the split coming and even encouraged them to leave the relationship. What I see more than anything is that grandparents want to be their child’s savior in the most heartwarming way. They want to champion them, get involved in the legal process, and even hop on phone calls with us at the firm.
I have seen cases where domestic violence or alcohol abuse made it impossible for two parents to speak to each other, but grandparents were able to make a difference. They have offered to facilitate drop-offs and pickups of the kids, or even supervise visits to ensure they are safe. They are making it possible for one parent to see the child when they otherwise would be unable. It can help reduce conflict and stress between parents by removing direct interaction. Ultimately, if you are a grandparent, despite a lack of legal recourse, you can remain an essential part of your family. Remember, the other parent is not just your son or daughter’s ex; they are still the parent of your grandchild. Keeping that perspective can make all the difference in being the steady presence your children and grandchildren need.
–Jennifer Rubin
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The 1970s were the golden age of commercial flying, and airlines went all out to make traveling by plane more than just getting from one place to another — they tried to dazzle passengers along the way. With the release of Boeing’s 747, airlines had more space to work with, so some chose to turn air travel into something closer to a night out. Air Canada was all in on the trend. On transatlantic flights between Toronto and Europe, the upper deck of their 747 became a full-on disco. Passengers danced to 8-track tunes beside mirrored walls. You could hit the dance floor even at 35,000 feet. They weren’t the only ones, either. United Airlines turned its upper deck into the “Friendship Room,” while Qantas called theirs the “Captain Cook Lounge.” Singapore Airlines had the “Raffles Lounge,” which came equipped with slumberettes for anyone looking to lie down after an in-flight drink or two. And American Airlines even had a piano in the back of the plane. It wasn’t exactly a grand piano — more of a sturdy Wurlitzer organ — but it gave fliers something to gather around. The goal of these airlines was to create a glamorous experience for passengers. But the good times didn’t last long. By the early 1980s, most airlines had traded disco lights for passenger capacity, and the lounges and passenger bars faded out. People were flying more than ever, but the party plane era quietly ended. Still, it’s fun to look back on this period of air travel when the additional space in bigger planes meant bars, lounges, and music. For a little while, at least, flying came with cocktails, conversation, and maybe even a chance to dance down the aisle. THE RISE OF PARTY PLANES MUSIC, LOUNGES, AND MIDAIR DANCING
MAKING THE MOVE What to Know Before You Leave the Marital Home
Divorce isn’t just the end of a relationship; it significantly changes your shared life, routines, and space. Emotions can run high, and communication can break down during the process, making your home start to feel like a pressure cooker. Many people wonder if moving out before their divorce is finalized is the right step. It’s a decision with emotional, financial, and legal weight, but in many instances, moving out now may help bring you clarity, peace, and a fresh start. ONLY IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT In most situations, moving out while a divorce is ongoing can be a great choice, as long as you can afford to do so. When you’re officially divorced, you won’t be living in the same house as your ex anyway, so why wait if you have the financial capability now? There are some additional money matters to keep in mind as you determine if your budget can support a move. Along with your ability to pay rent or purchase a new home, remember that you may still have legal obligations to pay the mortgage, utilities, and other expenses at the marital home. If you have enough of a financial buffer to cover the potential costs of two homes at once, moving can give you peace of mind. IMPACT ON YOUR CHILDREN The divorce process can be stressful for your children if both parents live in the home together while everything is being settled. Getting out can be in the best interest of your kids, especially if the situation is high-conflict or abusive. The judge will work to determine the best outcome for children in a divorce, and moving out early doesn’t necessarily mean you will lose custody. If you decide to get your own space, create a written parenting agreement that lays out a schedule for both of you to spend time with the child(ren). If you can’t work with your spouse, you can ask the court to create a parenting plan or try mediation. If you are considering moving out during your divorce, your safety and well-being are the most important factors to consider. Contact us at Bruce Law Firm, so we can help you understand your rights and make informed decisions about your next step.
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WEEKLY HABITS TO RECLAIM JOY AFTER DIVORCE YOUR NEW CHAPTER STARTS NOW
DO SOMETHING FUN There is likely something you wanted to do for yourself just for fun during your marriage that was difficult at the time. This is your opportunity to explore your passions and what brings you joy, just because. Find something that excites you. Maybe there’s a class you’ve always wanted to take or a trip you’ve always wanted to go on. It could be just watching your favorite movie or getting lost in a book without the guilt trip. It could be anything under the sun. DO SOMETHING SOCIAL Your trusted relationships are more important than ever now, and reconnecting with friends and loved ones will help you lead a happier life. Spend time each week doing something social with other positive people. You don’t have to rush back into the dating scene, but you could make some new friends or meaningful connections. An easy way to do this is by joining a gym or church where you can meet like-minded people interested in bettering their lives. Studies show that people who get more social interaction tend to live healthier and happier lives. DO SOMETHING HEALTHY Divorce and the challenges of the marriage that led to it can take a mental and physical toll, so make sure to focus on setting healthy habits for yourself during this year. Small steps over time can make a huge difference. Look at your diet and incorporate new, healthy recipes into your week. Start exercising, and it doesn’t mean you have to take trips to the gym to lift weights every day. It could start with morning walks or 20-minute cardio sessions at home. Take care of your mental health by incorporating meditation or yoga into your routine.
Your first year after divorce marks a huge milestone in life with many changes. Now that you have closed one chapter, it’s time to write the next exciting one and take the chance to completely reset. There are three simple practices that can transform this transitional year into one of the most empowering in your life. By focusing on doing something fun, social, and healthy every single week, you’re taking essential steps to rediscover who you are and build a life that’s truly yours.
Have a Laugh!
Inspired by TheCookieRookie.com
EXTRA-CRISPY RANCH CHICKEN CUTLETS
Ingredients • Olive oil •
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1 cup panko breadcrumbs
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese 1 oz ranch seasoning, store-bought (1 packet) or homemade
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• •
3/4 cup flour
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Cooking spray
2 large eggs, beaten
Directions 1. Preheat oven to 375 F. Grease a 9x13-inch baking pan with olive oil and set aside. 2. Season both sides of chicken breasts with salt and pepper. 3. Set out three shallow bowls. In the first, combine flour and a pinch of salt and pepper. Add the eggs to the second bowl. Mix panko, Parmesan, and ranch seasoning mix in the third bowl. 4. For coating, dip seasoned chicken breasts in flour, coating both sides. Then, dip the chicken in the beaten eggs and, finally, the panko mixture. 5. Place each coated chicken breast in the prepared baking dish. 6. Spray the tops of the chicken with cooking spray. 7. Bake for 30 minutes, or until the chicken reaches 165 F and is golden brown.
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Staying Connected When Legal Rights Fall Short page 1
Disco at 35,000 Feet
Should You Move Out Before Your Divorce Is Final? page 2
Your Comeback Starts Here
Extra-Crispy Ranch Chicken Cutlets page 3
Credit Checks Beyond the Score page 4
MORE THAN JUST A CREDIT SCORE ALL THE THINGS LENDERS REALLY CHECK
When you apply for a loan or credit card, it’s easy to assume your credit report tells the whole story. But honestly, that’s only one piece of the puzzle. Behind the scenes, lenders are looking at other details, and those can matter just as much, if not more. Here’s something that catches people off guard: The credit score you see might not be the one your lender uses. Different lenders pull reports from different credit bureaus, and many rely on customized scoring models made for their industry. That means the “good” score you see on a free app might not match the lender’s number. Lenders also look at how steady your income is and how much debt you carry compared to what you earn. You could have a perfect payment history but raise red flags if your debt-to-income ratio is too high. And the kind of credit you’re applying for
makes a difference, too. For instance, a mortgage or auto loan gets more scrutiny than a store credit card.
Other behind-the-scenes factors also matter. Some lenders track how often you apply for new credit. If it looks like you’ve been applying everywhere, that can make them nervous. A few lenders even use internal data based on your history with them, and those things never show up in your credit report. It’s not always obvious how much weight these things carry, but they help explain why someone with a solid score might still be denied. Your credit report matters. But so do your habits, your consistency, and the bigger story your finances tell. If you’re considering borrowing, it’s worth looking at the whole picture. Clean up your credit, yes — but also take stock of your income, budget, and how you manage what you already have.
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