Talking it Over by Dr. Clyde M. Narramore
Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one o f the largest school systems in the United States
I am wondering if you have talked this problem over with your husband. Does he know that it even exists? It would help immeasurably if you and your husband could get together a number of times and quietly discuss this situation. I have found that most problems in the fam ily can be solved much more easily if the husband and w ife are willing to sit down and talk things through. No Help From Dad Q. I am a Christian mother of two children— a 16-year-old boy and a 12-year-old girl— both of whom are saved. I have daily devotions at breakfast time with them but m y husband does not join in. He does not go to church with us either but I am still praying that he w ill sub mit his life to the Lord soon. M y husband is not a pal to either of the children and never takes an interest in them. Is there something else I can do to make up for their father’s irresponsibility? A . Your husband’s attitudes un doubtedly stem from the fact that he does not know Christ as his personal Saviour. A fter he comes to know the Lord, he w ill see the importance of investing time in his children and leading them into paths of righteousness. You have two major responsibil ities: 1) Live an attractive, Chris tian life so that your husband will want to know your Saviour. 2 ) Find many ways o f guiding your chil dren into a closer walk with the Lord. Do you make sure that your son and daughter spend at least some time every summer at a Christian camp? This may help considerably. M any lives are changed at Christian camps. A re you taking your children to a fundamental, evangelical church where they can receive a challenge to give their hearts to Christ and
to live for H im? M any Christian families have found it necessary to move to a new church if their pres ent one is not evangelical and if it does not have a strong program for young people. A re you talking with your chil dren about attending Christian col leges? N ow is the time to get start ed. W rite to several Christian col leges and Bible schools and ask them to send you catalogs and promo tional materials. Then sit down with your children and talk about the advantages of attending a Chris tian school. I realize that it is sometimes dif ficult to raise children to love the Lord if on ly one parent is saved; but it can be done. Through Chris tian literature, Christian camps, an evangelical church, Christian edu cation and fam ily devotions, your son and daughter can grow to be spiritual giants! Twins Q. M y w ife and I are expecting our first child. W e have been won dering what the statistical chances are of having twins? A. In the United States twin births occur about once in 87 times: that is, one delivery out of every 87 is a twin birth. Otherwise stated, one out of every 44 babies b om is a twin. Triplets occur once in about 9,042 and quadruplets once in 551,- 266 births. It is estimated that quintuplets occur once in about 54,- 000,000 births, or about once a gen eration (33 years) in the United States. Four sets o f quintuplets have been bom din ing the past cen tury and a half. By the time school age is reached the proportion o f twins to single- tons is greatly reduced, from about one in 44 at birth to one in 75. The principal reason is the high infant death rate in twins. A fter the first year of life the life expec tancy is probably the same as that of other children.
DR. NARRAMORE
Problem With Child Q. I am having a problem that most mothers face with the birth of their second child. M y first child is 2% years old and it seems that I am constantly “ down” on her. Natural ly, I’m terribly under conviction about it. M y testimony is wearing thin around m y husband who is not yet saved. I don’t want to keep scolding her, but it seems that. I’m continually correcting her over trivial things; then she cries. Undoubtedly if I could discuss this matter it would help. A. I cannot agree that most mothers have a special problem when their second child is bom . I know of no research studies that would indicate that having a second child naturally causes a mother to resent the first one. In your case what is actually needed is diagnosis. What is the basic reason for this resentment? Is it a home situation? Is it a problem with the older child? Do you expect too much of the older child because she is “ bigger” ? You say that it would undoubted ly help if you could discuss the matter with someone. You are cer tainly right. I would suggest that you talk this over with your pedia trician and also your pastor. If there is a Christian psychologist in your community, it would be wise to contact him also. If the child herself has a rather serious prob lem, a psychologist can diagnose this and give you special help.
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THE KIN G'S BUSINESS
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