Th e Christian Home By Rev. Paul Bayles Pastor, Centinela Bible Church Hawthorne, California
THE CATEGORICAL IMPERATIVE
their conclusions, to be used as a re minder and g u i d e . This “ talking things out” will develop a basis of mutual understanding which will decrease feelings of inadequacy and reduce parental e x a s p e r a t i o n and marital misunderstanding. The couple will have a sense of direction, of co operation and of peaceful satisfac tion in that they are learning to cope with their children’s needs together. Use the following suggestions as a basis for discussion with your mar riage partner. 1. We will think and speak of the child as “ ours.” 2. We will maintain a united front on matters of discipline. We will dis agree only in private. 3. We will reduce the number of commands, explaining each order, when possible. 4. We will get the child’s full at tention befori giving an order. His imaginative mind may be in outer space somewhere. 5. We will speak slowly and calm ly to him. 6 . We will not humiliate him by punishing him before his friends. 7. We will never belittle our child nor each other, but will try to build confidence. 8. We will teach him wholesome attitudes toward himself, others, and property. Many adults subconsciously resent their children because they feel that they themselves have utterly failed as parents. They look upon their chil dren as symbols of failure and defeat. Most authorities would agree that Christian parents have not “ruined” their children. If your children love Christ and respect you, if they are happy and healthy, if they do not pull their hair and continue to wet their beds, you have not “ damaged” them. Even if these symptoms are apparent, help can be obtained. Consult your minister or family doctor. Trust the Lord in all these things. Enjoy your children and the satisfaction that they can bring to your marriage.
Rev. Bayles
So philosophy calls it, but the Word of God uses simpler and clearer language. “ It was nec essary,” Paul told the Jews at Antioch, “ that the Word of God should first have been spoken to you.” That is, as if he were to say, “ I can’t help myself; it is a categorical imperative!” The imperative lies inherent ly in the very nature of the case. The natural procedure is to start any Gospel program with the Jew. Sentiment calls for it; gratitude requires it; and, above all, God commands it! So pow erfully was this conviction borne in upon the conscience of Paul, and so important did he consider Jewish conversion, that he cried out, “ I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren . . . who are Israel ites!” Dear child of God! W ill you not ask Him to let you see Israel as He sees her? And when y o u ' do, a new joy and a new bless ing will come to you. Try it. We feel that some day you will thank us that you did. Our work merits your every confidence. It is a program of world-wide testimony to the Jews. Your fellowship is always welcomed and appreciated. THE CHOSEN PEOPLE magazine is sent to all contributors. AM ER ICAN BOARD OF M IS S IO N S ------ TO THE JEWS, Inc. 236 West 72nd Street, Dept. 8 I New York 23, N.Y. 1 Canadian Office: j 39 King William St., Hamilton, Ont'., Can. J I do want to help the Jews. Here is I I $............ .... Use it as God directs, to j make known the saving power of the . Lord Jesus Christ to Israel.
P a r e n t — child relationships too often bring more grief than joy to the husband and wife. The answer to this common problem is not found in refusing parental responsibilities, but rather in understanding them. It is our lack of understanding in this area, and our inability to cope with the growing needs of our children that cause feelings of inadequacy to the point of frustration. In our en lightened day, we need not remain uninformed about parental skills. The bookshelves abound with sane advice for Christian parents. From pulpit and press we are con stantly being warned about the spread of juvenile delinquency. Fear and ter ror often strikes our hearts. In panic, our first reaction is the urge to punish, to become more strict and more stern. So we last out against our children. We explain that this is “ discipline.” Sometimes it is subconsciously trying to pay children back for the fear and panic that we feel they have caused us. The things for which we punish them at these moments are really ex ternal- to the problem of delinquency. Our children are bewildered by this inconsistency, but we feel better be cause they haye at least been punished for something! For a time we feel “ reinstated” as parents — we have done our duty. Actually, we have only given vent to our own frustrations. Our sense of satisfaction is usually short-lived. Often a conflict arises be tween the husband and wife as to the expediency of the discipline. To one marriage partner it seems as though the other is majoring on incidentals. Since this “ questioning of my wis dom” is an attack on our parenthood, an area in which we feel insecure anyway, our feelings are hurt and the problem is no closer to a solution. Husbands and wives who have learned the skill of “ communication” can discuss and can agree upon major areas for discipline. Some couples find it helpful to write out on paper
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