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SEPT 2025
Purpose Over Perfection Keys to Winning the Infinite Game
Whenever I want to have a good day here in Illinois, I think of Japan. More specifically, I think about kaizen , a Japanese word that means “continual improvement.” Many Japanese companies employ the kaizen philosophy with great success. Achieving it isn’t a matter of reaching grandiose milestones quickly; it involves making small, sustainable refinements. It’s a very sound outlook, as taking minor steps toward success is often a smarter path to follow than attempting to do too much and burning yourself out. With September being Self-Improvement Month, I’m considering kaizen more than usual. How am I doing with adapting the philosophy to my everyday life? Well, it’s been an up-and-down journey — which I suppose is the whole point.
First, here’s the upside: I’ve been doing well at not being too hard on myself when I feel like I’m not doing enough to improve my life. In an ideal world, I would work out five times a week and eat better than I do. Of course, this isn’t an ideal world, and being open to accepting my shortcomings and not being so hard on myself has been one of the most significant lessons I’ve learned over the years. I don’t beat myself up when I don’t check off every box or accomplish certain things in a single day. Of course, perfecting this mindset hasn’t been easy, nor did it develop overnight. My outlook changed considerably when I read a book by Simon Sinek called “The Infinite Game.” In it, Sinek explores the difference between “finite games” and “infinite games.” Baseball, where the score is clear and the players know who won or lost, is a “finite game.” By contrast, being in business is more of an “infinite game,” where no definitive point determines where you win or lose. In this scenario, constantly evolving and refining who you are and what you do defines success. In this respect, life itself is an “infinite game,” and the goal is to keep playing. As for the downside … well, everybody with kids knows some days are better and less challenging than others. Sometimes, we get frustrated with them when they misbehave or do something they shouldn’t. As parents, it can be tough at times to think past the immediate stress of a situation and
express our frustration or disappointment constructively in a way that ultimately benefits our kids — especially when we feel like we’re just going in circles with them, nothing is changing for the better, and we’re convinced our parenting sucks. We’ve all felt those dark clouds over our heads at least once. Parenthood isn’t always easy, but patience, recognizing where we need to improve, and being as present for our kids as possible are critical to winning that “infinite game.” There will be bumps in the road, but it’s up to my wife and me to figure out how to learn the right lessons and take the best steps one day at a time. We all have days — or even weeks — when it feels like we’re walking through mud and it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. More than anything, it’s essential to keep walking or looking for your next step forward. Even the most minuscule momentum matters if we keep our hearts in the right place.
Check out the “Illinois Divorce Guide Podcast”! Listen and Share!
What’s your first step going to be this month?
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Not What They Meant to Make
But Exactly What We Needed
SMOKE DETECTORS Poison gas was a defining feature of World War I, and because of this, Swiss physicist Walter Jaeger started looking into ways to detect poison gas during the 1930s. He created a sensor, but instead of detecting anything poisonous, it detected the smoke coming from Jaeger’s cigarette. Due to cost, it would take decades for the invention to become mainstream. In the 1950s, smoke detectors became more common in industrial spaces, but it wasn’t until the ’70s that the devices became more prevalent in homes. POST-IT NOTES Imagine creating one thing when you were trying to invent the complete opposite. That’s essentially the story behind Post-it Notes. Dr. Spencer Silver was trying to create stronger, tougher adhesives when he developed microspheres, an adhesive that retained its stickiness while being easily removable. He failed to find a use for his invention for years, but that changed when he needed a bookmark that wouldn’t damage the page. From there, his creativity snowballed until Post-its became a reality.
When you imagine the greatest inventors of our time creating their ingenious new products, you likely picture someone in front of a chalkboard full of equations. We like to think they had a specific idea and kept tweaking their processes and thoughts until they struck gold. While this does happen, it’s not uncommon for inventors to discover a completely different product, idea, or service when attempting to craft their intended invention. Here are three life-changing inventions that were nothing more than happy accidents. SUPERGLUE During WWII, Harry Coover researched chemicals called cyanoacrylates while trying to find ways to make clear plastic for military gunsights. Unfortunately, these chemicals proved too sticky for that purpose, and scientists quickly moved on to a more realistic option. Years later, Coover worked in a Kodak chemical plant, where he researched heat-resistant polymers for jet airplane canopies. Cyanoacrylates entered the picture once again, and this time, Coover realized they required no heat or pressure to bond. His team applied the substance to various items in their lab, sticking them together. Thus, superglue was created.
True to 2
Post-Divorce Friendship Without Sides
A divorce or separation can devastate more than just the couple and their children and family members. Most marriages aren’t just unions between two people; they’re often unions between the partners’ mutual friends. In addition to the emotions from seeing two people they care about split up, friends can sometimes be unsure of how to navigate being present, supportive, and unbiased to either or both sides. Here are two considerations for remaining an impartial friend without finding yourself stuck on battle lines. MANEUVERING THE MIDDLE If your circle of friends often revolved around a married couple, divorce can send those close connections into a tailspin. Suddenly, you feel pressured to take sides or may find yourself being a sounding board — perhaps reluctantly — for both former spouses. How can you remain a true friend to both when loyalty is on the line? There’s no definitive answer to this question, but setting healthy boundaries with each party is often a great start. If you don’t have the emotional capacity to hear derogatory or hurtful things about the other side, you can communicate your position respectfully while still being supportive. Perhaps your time spent with either spouse could be based on fun activities or events that help them focus on things other than their divorce. Of course, certain circumstances surrounding a separation —
such as when one spouse grossly mistreated the
other — may prompt you to support one side more readily, but that choice should always be yours to make. EMBRACING YOUR FRIENDS’ NEED FOR SPACE Here’s something that may be difficult to read as a friend of a
newly divorced or separated couple: Even if you’re working hard to be there for both sides, one or both of them may start spending less time with you. In some cases, their absence may not even be related to your friendship with their ex; it may just be a matter of their wanting to broaden their experiences, try new things, and meet new people to heal and grow during or after the divorce. If the texts don’t appear as often as they once did, give your friend some time. They’ll likely come back around once they feel more comfortable and fulfilled through pursuing other interests.
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Breakup Bites Healthy Eating Habits Through Heatbreak
The path to a mended heart isn’t paved with pepperoni pizza. As with many emotionally challenging life events, divorce can lead a person to develop undesirable dietary habits — sometimes without them fully realizing it. Whether you’re packing on pounds or seeing the digits on your scale drastically drop, here are two tips for healthy eating when divorce dampens your appetite or prompts you to reach for the doughnuts. WEIGHT LOSS ISN’T ALWAYS WELCOME. Slimming down is a goal for millions of Americans, but reducing your waistline should never come from a lack of eating. Ongoing stress, depression, and anxiety can wreak havoc on your appetite. When dealing with the emotions associated with divorce, you may lose your desire to eat or even forget to do it altogether. There are healthy ways to lose weight, but malnourishing your body when
your mind is in a negative space isn’t one of them. The effects of this lifestyle — including fatigue, muscle loss, irritability, and cognitive decline — are likely to compound your mental state and make you feel even worse. If you feel yourself slipping off your typical meal schedule, set reminders to eat nutrient-rich meals throughout the day — even if eating is the last thing you want to do. Before long, your body will regulate itself, your appetite will return, and your mood will likely improve. BINGING ISN’T BENEFICIAL, EITHER. Of course, poor dieting during divorce can go the other way. If you’ve become accustomed to dialing Domino’s for a robust midnight snack, your craving for comfort food isn’t doing your mind and body any favors. When stress puts your appetite into overdrive, opt for foods that promote ongoing health, including high-protein sources (such as fish, chicken, beans, tofu, etc.) or snacks full of
antioxidants (spinach, blueberries, nuts, etc.). Most importantly, make sure you’re drinking enough water; even mild dehydration can make you feel fatigued and trigger depressive feelings. Generally, consuming the equivalent of eight glasses daily is a good rule to follow. Naturally, this article is meant as a guide — it’s always best to consult with your physician to determine the best diet plan for you. No matter what works best for your particular situation, what’s most important is that you chart a course for better health despite the mental slumps that may lie ahead.
TAKE A BREAK
Grilled Teriyaki Flank Steak
Ingredients Marinade • 2/3 cup red wine • 1/2 cup soy sauce or tamari
• 1/4 tsp black pepper • 1/4 tsp ginger powder • 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes (optional)
• 1/3 cup brown sugar • 1/4 cup sesame oil • 1 tbsp sesame seeds • 1 tsp minced garlic
Meat • 1 1/2 lbs flank steak
Directions 1. In a large bowl, whisk together marinade ingredients. 2. Place the flank steak in a large, rimmed dish. Pour the marinade over the meat. 3. Refrigerate and allow to marinate for 15 minutes. Flip and let marinate for another 15 minutes. 4. Preheat grill to 400 F. 5. Add the meat to the grill and cook for 3–5 minutes on each side. Leave the grill lid open to avoid overcooking. 6. For a medium-rare steak, remove from grill at 130 F internally, and for medium, remove at 140 F. 7. Let the meat rest on a cutting board for 5–10 minutes. Then, slice against the grain into thin pieces and enjoy!
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161 N. Clark, Ste. 1700 Chicago, IL 60601 (312) 488-1938 rbbfirm.com
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IN THIS ISSUE
1.
Kaizen in Kindness
2.
When Plans Fail, Inventions Prevail
Loyalty Without Limits
3.
Forks and Feelings
Grilled Teriyaki Flank Steak
4.
Have a Chat With Yourself — It’s Good for You
Talking to Yourself Isn’t Crazy — Really!
It’s Self-Care!
BOOST FOCUS AND PERFORMANCE If you sometimes talk yourself through a difficult situation or task, keep it up! Research shows verbal cues can sharpen focus and improve task performance. Athletes, for example, often use motivational self-talk like “Keep going!” or “You’ve got this!” during training and competition. That same technique can help you power through a challenging work project or stressful situation with more confidence and drive.
You’ve probably caught yourself muttering under your breath or talking out loud when no one else is around. While it may feel strange, research shows that talking to yourself is perfectly normal and can be good for your mental well-being. GAIN MENTAL CLARITY When you talk to yourself out loud, your brain slows down and
that speaking the name of a lost object out loud can speed up the search process. When you vocalize what you’re looking for, your brain can use verbal and visual cues, helping you locate the item more efficiently. IMPROVE MENTAL HEALTH What you say to yourself matters. Practicing positive self-talk — like encouraging yourself after a mistake or giving yourself a confidence boost — can reduce stress and improve emotional resilience. Phrases like “I can handle this!” or “Let’s take it one step at a time!” support a healthier, more optimistic mindset. Here’s the bottom line: Talking to yourself is a powerful tool for improving focus, problem- solving, and emotional regulation. As long as the self-talk is constructive and kind, don’t hide it — embrace it instead. So, go ahead and have a chat with yourself. Your brain will thank you.
organizes thoughts more clearly. This is especially helpful when you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or need to make a tough decision. Saying things out loud forces you to process information more deeply, almost like giving yourself advice from a trusted friend — after all, who knows you better than yourself?
FIND LOST ITEMS FASTER Have you ever lost your keys and started saying, “Where are my keys?” as you look around? That’s not just habit — it’s science at work. A
study from the University of Wisconsin-Madison found
4 — rbbfirm.com
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