Growing up I always felt unseen and unloved by my parents. I wanted their attention and acceptance so badly but drugs and alcohol were their only focus. At the age of 13, in desperation to be seen and heard, I inserted myself into their world by drinking and using drugs myself. I soon became involved with an older man and started living with him. This would be the first of many men in my life as I was trying to fill a void and hide my feelings of being unloved. I started experimenting with harder drugs and became a middle school dropout at only 15. As the years went by I was acknowledged by my parents but not as their daughter – simply as a friend. When I tried heroin for the first time nothing else mattered, my loneliness and emptiness disappeared. Soon I couldn't function without it. Robbing people and prostituting myself, while my parents waited in the car so we could all get high, were normal to me. I hated myself and I was just so angry all the time. I was arrested more than 10 times for assault before the age of 21. I had zero value for my life and continued to spiral downward. I overdosed and flatlined for more than 6 minutes. When I was finally revived I was furious at the EMS workers for bringing me back to life. I just wanted to die. I had been living in this life of chaos and addiction for so long, I wanted out but didn't see any other way than death. My life changed on April 9, 2021 when I was arrested with the potential for a life sentence. While being booked into jail, I found out I was pregnant. Hopeless, broken, and lost, I cried out to the Lord for a way out. While in jail, I heard about Blue Monarch where I could work on my recovery, and my baby and I could remain together as a family. Not only did I find freedom from my addiction, but my son was born drug free, happy, and healthy. Blue Monarch helped secure the best future for my son and me and also became the family I had always longed for that would love, support, and encourage me. I am redeemed and made new thanks to Jesus, and for the very first time in my life I am truly happy to be alive and I am excited for my future. Mrs. Susan always tells us we can do whatever we set our minds to, and I plan to do just that as I am managing Out of the Blue Granola and hope to pursue a career in criminal law. TAYLOR 2023 BLUE MONARCH GRADUATE
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