BE A BETTER LISTENER FOR SOMEONE
WHO NEEDS TO ‘GET IT ALL OUT’
It’s not always easy to share feelings of frustration, anger, sadness, or other strong emotions — but it’s healthy to share them. Sometimes, we need to vent and get it all out. Venting gives us an opportunity to release these emotions, which often leads to mental clarity. However, when someone comes to you to vent and share their heavy emotional burden, listening can be just as challenging as sharing. You want to be supportive, but you don’t want to interfere. Strong feelings and tough situations may be involved. What can you do to be the listener they really need? It starts with your body language. Open yourself to their emotional needs. Gregorio Billikopf, an interpersonal relationship expert at the University of California, Berkeley says if you begin the conversation standing, invite the person to have a seat with you. Another thing you can do as a listener is position yourself below their eye line. This puts the person venting in a more active “storyteller” position and you in a better “listener” position. While in this position, maintain eye contact. It’s okay to look down or away occasionally, but try to keep steady eye contact.
Billikopf also notes that, as a listener, it’s important to avoid interjecting. Don’t offer input, suggestions, or guidance to the person venting until after the person has had the chance to get it all out. “During this venting process, there is still too much pressure for a person to consider other perspectives,” Billikopf says. While you don’t want to interject, you do want to be an active listener. This means you don’t want to be completely silent. This is where “reflective listening” comes in. Occasionally repeat what the speaker says — but don’t use their exact phrasing. Reword slightly in a sympathetic manner. Don’t spin their words or mistakenly interject an opinion, as it may not be the opinion they’re interested in hearing. Alternatively, listening cues like “mm” or “hm” and nods are always welcome. One last thing to keep in mind: You do not need to offer a solution to the person’s problem or concerns. They may just be venting to get their negative emotions out, not looking for answers or explanations. If they are looking for answers or guidance, wait for them to ask. In the meantime, lend your ear and let them know you’re there for them going forward.
YOU HAVE BEEN OVERPAID! What Are Your Options?
It is not uncommon for SSI recipients to receive a notice from the Social Security Administration that they have been overpaid. Do not panic if you receive such a notice. You may not have to repay the money, or you may be able to repay as little as $10 a month. If you do not agree that you have been overpaid, or if you believe the amount is incorrect, you can appeal by filing Form SSA-561, Request for Reconsideration (SSA. gov/forms/ssa-561.pdf). You should explain why you think you have not been overpaid or why you think the amount is not correct. If you appeal within 30 days of the date on your overpayment notice, your benefits will continue during the appeal. Even if you did receive the overpayment, you may not have to pay it back if you were without fault in causing the overpayment and you are financially unable to pay it back. You must file Form SSA-632, Request for Waiver of Overpayment Recovery (SSA.
gov/forms/ssa-632-bk.pdf) with the Social Security Administration if you feel the overpayment was not your fault. Social Security may withhold as little as $10 per month from your checks. If you agree you have been overpaid and are willing to pay it back but cannot afford
to pay it back at the rate the Social Security Administration demands in its notice, you should file Form SSA-634, Request for Change in Overpayment Recovery Rate (SSA.gov/forms/ssa-634.pdf). More information about overpayments can be found at SSA.gov/pubs/EN-05-10098.pdf.
2 | GilletteLawGroup.com
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