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How to Walk Into a Tough Conversation Without Blowing It Up S ummer 2025 Create Safety, Not Silence
How do you walk into the minefield that is a difficult conversation without blowing up? First, you must recognize you’re stepping into a critical discussion that requires heightened communication skills. This isn’t just small talk over coffee; it’s a hot- button issue with high stakes and emotions. Last edition, we discussed critical conversations and why they matter. But, once you see that you are heading into a tough talk, how do you do it in a way that has real results for everyone? It’s not about being right; it’s about being effective and being willing to start the dialogue. If what you are about to say matters to you, then it’s worth saying in a way that the other person can actually hear. The rules will be different with someone you don’t care to ever speak with again versus someone you want to know for the rest of your life. Figure out what you want to achieve from the discussion, then break down the issue into multiple parts. The fewer variables in a math problem, the easier it is to solve. If you can unpack a little and pin down your most important priority, start working on that first. Generally speaking, I think it’s best to sum up the situation in a sentence so it’s less likely to spiral out of control. Simplify it down to one question. Create a sense of safety for the other participant. Intent often trumps content because things usually go wrong when someone feels they’re being treated rudely, not being heard, or just insulted. We are wired to look for threats, and our brains see real and imagined dangers in the same way. Silence generates the fear of a threat, and you counteract that by creating evidence that establishes your good faith and desire to do no harm.
You can say, “I respect you and want us to reach a mutually desired outcome.” That helps the receiver enter the arena with you, knowing the intention isn’t hurtful. Establishing safety early on allows you not to water down what you want to discuss. Show the other person you care about them and their concerns and that you’re on the same page. You can’t just have the conversation and then walk away. In two weeks, it might become clear that your take on the conversation is quite different from the other person’s. Gain that clarity before the discussion ends by checking in. What did we just agree to? What will we do, who will follow up, and how will we ensure we accomplish what we said we will? Now, if a discussion starts to go the wrong direction, it’s alright to take a break. It could be that the other person wants to talk about something else, or you simply need to cool down. Focus on one issue at a time. But before you take that pause, agree on when you will start the clock again; otherwise, it could become a poison pill you never resolve. There’s a big difference between stonewalling and deciding to return to a topic after some time. Stonewalling just means going silent and walking away versus stating, “I’m in a rather upset state. How about we come back to this in an hour after I can cool down?” Navigating tough conversations is a skill that can protect relationships, clarify expectations, and reduce long-term conflict. In our upcoming Legal Care Series class in September on critical conversations, we’ll delve deeper into this with our clients, with plenty of time for questions. If you want to learn more about effectively having these challenging discussions, ask away. “How do you walk into the minefield that is a difficult conversation without blowing up?”
–Michael Manely
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Every family has a unique dynamic and history. If you have been married more than once, you may feel conflicted about the needs of your current spouse versus your children’s needs from previous marriages. However, you can preserve your legacy and provide for all your loved ones in your estate plan without alienating your children or spouse. By incorporating a Qualified Terminable Interest Property (QTIP) trust into your estate plan, you can solve the issue equitably, giving both parties the security they need. HOW QTIPS WORK Unlike other trusts, QTIP trusts allow you to name a life beneficiary and a final beneficiary for your property. For instance, you can name your spouse as your life beneficiary, who will have limited rights to use the property set aside in the trust during their lifetime. Then, you can name your children as the final beneficiaries, who will inherit the property in the trust after you pass away. If your spouse passes away before you do, the property in the trust will be given directly to your final beneficiaries without needing alterations. QTIPs also offer benefits for a surviving spouse. Any income from the trust can go to the surviving spouse for the rest of their life, and estate taxes are not assessed until after the surviving spouse’s death. The Benefits of Forming a QTIP Trust Safeguard Your Legacy
THE ADVANTAGES QTIPs are a great way to meet the needs of two conflicting parties of beneficiaries. It is ideal for people who have been married more than once and have children from previous marriages; few options offer such a flexible trust that allows your children to inherit your property after your living spouse no longer needs it. This can help ease tension and reduce disagreements when settling your estate.
Crafting Culture, One Hire at a Time M eet D aphne L ee At The Manely Firm, building the right team is just as important as building a strong case, and Recruiting Partner Daphne Lee is the matchmaker behind our mission. With a sharp instinct for talent and a passion for people, Daphne blends strategy, intuition, and heart to help shape a skilled and compassionate team.
to build talent pipelines. This role requires organization, intuition, balancing strategic priorities with human needs, and the ability to read people. In the constantly changing hiring landscape, Daphne said, you must keep up with technological shifts like AI and dig deeper than the resume to get to the true essence of individuals. “The one thing about being a recruiter I’ve always loved is that you still have to go with your intuition,” she said. “There’s going to be something in your instinct — good, bad, or indifferent — that will tell you, this is the one.” When she’s not working, Daphne travels all over Georgia as a certified barbecue judge, getting to sample incredible fare for the best appearance, tenderness, and taste. She’s also certified as a steak and pizza judge, with a love of food and how it connects people. She’s a proud fur parent to her 4-year-old shih tzu, Sover. Daphne loves the firm’s people, culture, and connections and is grateful to work somewhere where her ideas are truly seen and appreciated. We are so thankful to have Daphne as a trusted partner, culture keeper, and a vital part of what makes The Manely Firm feel like a home.
Daphne has always been interested in understanding what motivates people. She aims to connect authentically with job seekers and help them find the right fit. She sees recruiting as the natural extension of her passion and has spent years helping startups and Fortune 1000 companies thoughtfully staff their teams. When she discovered The Manely Firm, she found a rare alignment with her values and vision. It was a place where she could grow and make a difference. “It’s not just a law firm. It’s a mission-driven organization that believes in ethical advocacy, global impact, and creating access to justice,” she said. “Legal recruiting allows me to influence the makeup of a team that advocates for real people going through life-changing moments.” Daphne supports the firm’s growth strategy by writing job descriptions, managing listings, screening candidates, and constantly networking
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Matters of the Heart
Inspired by HalfBakedHarvest.com C heesy T omato -B asil S tuffed C hicken I ngredients
• 4–6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts • 1/2 cup basil pesto • 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese • 1/3 cup oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, drained, oil reserved • 2 cups cherry tomatoes, divided
• 2 cloves garlic, smashed • 2 tbsp balsamic vinegar • Chili flakes, to taste • 1/4 cup fresh basil, chopped • 1 tbsp fresh thyme leaves • Salt and pepper, to taste
D irections 1. Preheat oven to 425 F. 2. Slice chicken down the middle horizontally (not cutting all the way through). 3. Spread pesto inside filleted chicken, then stuff with cheese and tomatoes before closing chicken, covering filling. 4. Place chicken in a large oven-safe skillet. Drizzle with reserved oil. 5. Set the skillet over medium heat; cook 5 minutes. 6. Add 1 1/2 cups tomatoes, garlic, balsamic vinegar, and season with chili flakes. Cook 2–3 minutes, then remove from heat. 7. Bake in oven for 7–10 minutes until chicken is cooked through and tomatoes burst. 8. Toss remaining 1/2 cup tomatoes with basil, thyme, salt, and pepper. 9. Serve the chicken topped with fresh tomatoes. PROTECT YOUR FAMILY & ASSETS Join Our Virtual Info Session
We aren’t two robots talking to each other. We are two souls trying to communicate. Sometimes, the words come easily, but often, our conversations are fraught with difficult emotions. Recognizing the humanity of the other person and our feelings is at the heart of effective communication. Whether you are navigating a disagreement with a partner, a tense moment at work, or a fragile family discussion, it’s not just about what you say, but how you say it with emotional intelligence. At The Manely Firm, we use a softened startup technique developed by psychologist Beverly Brooks called VAP when approaching critical conversations. The acronym stands for Valuing the other person, Asserting your thoughts and feelings, Putting forth positives for problem solving, and I like to add on O as a reminder to keep your eye on desired outcomes. To do this, you have to turn to your emotional vocabulary, going beyond “happy” or “unhappy” to truly assert your real feelings. VAP is a tool to help you bring up difficult conversations, rather than avoid them. The objective is to be assertive without harming the other person, stating your concerns, potential resolutions, and desired outcomes. We all have needs, and your brain naturally tries to persuade others to meet those needs. So, we have to control our intensity to be effective. When you assert it, you need to do so in ways that value not just yourself, but the other person. The best time to have critical conversations is when you are at a low level of anxiety, emotionally regulated, and clear-headed. Focus on controlling yourself, recognizing if you are becoming defensive and where that comes from, often a desire to protect ourselves. The greatest antidote for defensiveness is curiosity, so if you feel yourself going there, replace that with questions. Assume good faith when you see the other person’s emotional state and provide them with some validation. You can say, “I appreciate you,” “This seems to be very important to you,” or “Are you worried?” Speak Your Truth, Hear Theirs
Are you worried about what might happen to your family and assets if you face detention or deportation? You’re not alone and don’t have to face it unprepared. Join The Manely Firm for our virtual information session, “Protect Your Family & Assets,” hosted by managing attorney Cherish De La Cruz this August. This free session will provide legal estate planning guidance for immigrant families to protect your children, home, and future. Dates: Sunday, Aug. 3, and Wednesday, Aug. 6, at 7 p.m. To register, scan the QR code for the session you want to attend.
Sunday, Aug. 3
Emotional intelligence can help us stay grounded in curiosity, care, and clarity so we don’t just solve problems; we build connections in our conversations.
–Shelia Manely
Wednesday, Aug. 6
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211 Roswell St. NE Marietta, GA 30060 (866) 687-8561 www.allfamilylaw.com
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The Art of Productive Dialogue
Build Thorough Estate Plans With QTIP Trusts
How Daphne’s Instincts Power Our Purpose-Driven Team
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Tools for Talking Through Big Emotions Cheesy Tomato-Basil Stuffed Chicken
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Old-School Habits That Will Save Your Wallet
B udget B rilliance F rom a B ygone E ra RETRO HABITS MAKE MODERN LIFE (AND PRICES) EASIER
REINVENT YOUR LEFTOVERS. Gone are the days of letting food wilt in the fridge. Old- school frugal folks gave every last bite a second act. Roast chicken becomes broth. Rice gets turned into stir-fry. Stale bread transforms into French toast or bread pudding. Get creative! You’ll waste less and eat better. CHOOSE CASH OVER CARD. There’s something about handing over $20 cash that makes you think twice before spending it. Cash budgeting may feel outdated, but it’s one of the simplest ways to curb impulse buys. Envelopes marked for groceries, gas, or coffee dates give you a clear snapshot of your spending — and what’s left. No more senseless swiping! SAVE WITH SECONDHAND SAVVY. Hand-me-downs were once a household norm! Today, thrift stores and vintage finds are trending again, and for good reason. Whether it’s clothing, furniture, or kitchenware, buying secondhand is kinder to your wallet and the planet.
In a world where you can have anything delivered in a day, it’s easy to forget that less can be more. But our grandparents and great-grandparents knew the art of stretching a dollar. These timeless frugal habits aren’t just budget-friendly; they’re resourceful and surprisingly satisfying. Ready to channel your inner penny-pincher? Let’s bring these throwback habits back to life. MEND IT, DON’T END IT. Once upon a time, people didn’t just toss a sock with a hole. Instead, you sewed it right back up! No need to rush to the store — just a few basic mending skills can save you from countless unnecessary purchases. It’s also more empowering to fix something with your own hands than tossing it — not to mention much more eco-friendly. MASTER THE MAGIC OF HOMEMADE MEALS. Fast food might be convenient, but cooking from scratch is where the real savings (and flavor) happen. Think soups from veggie scraps and hearty meals made from simple pantry staples. Not only does it cut costs, but it puts you in control of your ingredients and nutrition — a win-win.
So, channel some old-school genius and start living a frugal, intentional lifestyle!
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