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The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 NOVEMBER | 2025
WHEN EVERYTHING GOES WRONG …
IT’S TOTALLY OKAY
Laugh at Yourself Humor is your best ally. Did you spill coffee? Take a funny selfie. Did your kids turn your wall into a crayon mural? Snap a picture for future blackmail (or graduation slides). Laughter reframes frustration as a story you’ll tell later instead of a crisis. Practice Selective Attention Not everything deserves your energy. Ask yourself: “Will this matter
Imagine you’re juggling three tasks at once: emails, laundry, and a dinner order, when suddenly your dog decides the vacuum is a mortal enemy, your Wi-Fi drops, and your phone autocorrects words in an important business text. Congratulations! You’ve officially entered the chaotic universe of Nov. 9: Chaos Never Dies Day. It’s the one day that unapologetically celebrates life’s twists, spills, and unexpected plot twists, reminding us that no matter how much we plan, chaos always comes into play. Chaos is sneaky. It creeps in when you least expect it: a spilled coffee, an unexpected Zoom meeting, a kid deciding that “hair dye is fun” at 7 a.m. But here’s the thing: Chaos never dies. And that’s exactly why this day exists. It’s a reminder to stop fighting the inevitable twists and turns, take a breath, and laugh a little. WHY EMBRACE CHAOS? Embracing chaos doesn’t mean giving up or letting things spiral. It’s about recognizing that surprises are part of life and letting small annoyances roll off your back. Stay focused on what really matters despite the chaos: your health, relationships, and sanity. You can even find humor in messy moments instead of letting them ruin your day.
tomorrow? Next week?” If not, let it go. Focus on the big stuff and allow yourself to ignore the small things.
Keep a ‘Mini Wins’ List When chaos piles up, it’s easy to feel like you’re losing ground. Take a moment each day to jot down small victories. This can be a
completed email, a folded load of laundry, or even surviving a stressful Zoom call. These tiny wins remind you that progress exists even in the middle of disorder and give you momentum to tackle the next curveball.
Embrace Flexible Routines Rigid schedules can make chaos feel overwhelming. Instead, build adaptable routines. For example, have a morning ritual that can shrink or expand depending on the day, or block out a flexible “focus hour” rather than strict times. This way, your structure bends rather than breaks when the unexpected happens. A NEW WAY TO SEE CHAOS Chaos Never Dies Day is all about mastering the mess. It’s a reminder that spilled coffee, missing keys, or a Wi-Fi outage won’t break you. With humor, perspective, and flexibility, chaos turns from an enemy into a persistent sidekick. —John Bledsoe
TIPS FOR ROLLING WITH THE MADNESS
Build ‘Chaos Buffers’ Give yourself wiggle room in your schedule. Ten minutes between meetings or an extra 15 minutes to commute can mean the difference between meltdown and mastery. Chaos still shows up, but you’ve built time for it, so it doesn’t steamroll you.
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DIVORCE SURVIVAL GUIDE Divorce is rarely easy, even when both parties agree on the terms. Emotions run high, stakes are personal, and the process can feel overwhelming. Unfortunately, many people make mistakes that could have been avoided with a little foresight and guidance. Knowing the most common pitfalls can help you navigate the process and protect your interests. tax returns, pay stubs, and records of debts and assets can weaken your case. Similarly, not keeping track of child-related expenses, medical bills, or communication with your ex can complicate custody and support discussions. Staying organized saves time, money, and stress. AVOID THESE COMMON LEGAL AND EMOTIONAL TRAPS clear boundaries is key to reducing stress and protecting your legal interests.
RUSHING THE PROCESS It’s tempting to want closure quickly, but hasty decisions, like signing agreements without fully understanding them, can lead to regret. Take time to review documents carefully, consult with your attorney, and consider the long-term effects on both you and your children. Divorce is stressful, but being aware of these common mistakes can make a huge difference. By staying calm, organized, and informed, you can navigate the process with confidence and lay the groundwork for a healthier post-divorce life.
NEGLECTING PROFESSIONAL LEGAL ADVICE
LETTING EMOTIONS DRIVE DECISIONS
Many people underestimate the importance of working with a qualified family law attorney. While a “do-it-yourself” approach may seem cost-effective, divorce law is complex, and small oversights can have major consequences. An attorney can help you understand your rights, anticipate challenges, and avoid expensive errors.
One of the biggest mistakes people make is letting emotions take the wheel. It’s natural to feel hurt, angry, or even vengeful, but acting on impulse, like hiding assets, making hurtful comments in court, or refusing to cooperate, can backfire. Decisions made in anger often create long-term consequences, from increased legal fees to a more contentious custody battle. FAILING TO GATHER PROPER DOCUMENTATION Financial transparency is critical in divorce proceedings. Failing to collect bank statements,
POOR COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR EX
Ignoring mediation opportunities or failing to establish clear boundaries can unnecessarily escalate conflict. Conversely, oversharing personal grievances in legal documents or online can harm your case. Maintaining professionalism and
Sound Advice Is Your Work Playlist Helping or Hurting Your Focus?
The hum of a busy coffee shop, traffic outside, your favorite song through your headphones as you work — we live in a noisy world with constant background noise. But is that ambient buzz boosting your brainpower or creating static in the system? While some swear a little noise helps them focus, for others, every passing siren or side conversation is a distraction. Let’s tune in and find out if that background noise could be a productivity playlist or sound sabotage. BRAIN BEATS Your brain is always busy trying to filter out distractions, and how background noise impacts your noggin depends on what it is. Steady or low-level sounds, like raindrops or white noise, can help hide other intrusive interruptions, making it easier to focus on the task you’re working on. Irregular, sudden, surprise, or meaningful sounds, like a direct conversation,
notifications on your phone, or lyrics to a beloved song, activate your brain, pulling you out of the concentration zone. SOUND SUPPORT If you are working on something that requires light focus, like answering emails, then the right kind of background noise, something like instrumental music, can help you stay on track. Other beneficial times for background noise include working in a loud environment or letting low-level sounds shift your brain into creative
or problem-solving mode. The key is choosing something that won’t distract your mind from what you’re trying to focus on. CUE THE QUIET Noise most often gets in the way of more complex or challenging work, such as reading, writing, meetings, learning new skills, or finding solutions to issues. Deeper tasks require more brainpower, like using memory or vocabulary skills. When your brain engages in more concentrated tasks, it is more sensitive to interruptions, so a song lyric or burst of action on the TV can win out against the quieter goal you’re trying to accomplish. Background noise can be a sound decision or just more racket. The trick is tuning into what helps your mind focus without being carried away by the clatter.
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W ord S earch
PREPARING FOR A CHILD- CENTERED CUSTODY HEARING Child custody hearings can be intimidating, emotional, and overwhelming, even when both parents want what’s best for their children. Being well- prepared can make a monumental difference in presenting your case clearly and confidently. Preparation is not about “winning” at all costs; it’s about showing the court you are a responsible, caring, and reliable parent. ORGANIZE YOUR DOCUMENTATION. One of the most important steps is gathering all relevant documents. This includes financial records, medical records, school reports, and evidence of your involvement in your child’s daily life. Keeping a log of your child’s routines, medical appointments, extracurricular activities, and communication with your co-parent demonstrates your commitment and consistency. Organized documentation helps the judge understand your role in your child’s life and makes your case stronger. UNDERSTAND YOUR CUSTODY GOALS. Before the hearing, clarify what outcome you hope to achieve. Are you seeking joint custody, primary physical custody, or specific visitation rights? Understanding your goals will help you communicate effectively in court and avoid being swayed by emotion or pressure. It’s also important to remain flexible; courts prioritize the child’s best interests, which may differ slightly from what you initially envisioned. WORK WITH YOUR ATTORNEY. We are your guide through the custody process. We discuss your case thoroughly, review potential questions you may face, and practice answering them calmly and respectfully. We can also advise on the documents you should bring, how to present evidence, and strategies for communicating effectively with the judge. STAY CALM AND PROFESSIONAL. Custody hearings can stir strong emotions, but it’s crucial to remain composed. Avoid negative comments about your co-parent, in court or in documents. Demonstrating maturity, cooperation, and respect can make a lasting impression on the judge. Remember, the court is focused on the child’s welfare, not adult conflicts. FOCUS ON YOUR CHILD’S BEST INTERESTS. Ultimately, your goal is to show that you can provide a stable, loving, and supportive environment. Highlight your involvement in their education, health, and emotional well-being. Emphasizing consistency, care, and cooperation will resonate with the court more than arguing or blaming the other parent. Focus on What Matters
Apples
Basketball
Black Friday
Election
Kindness
Leaves
Nap
Parade
Pie
Scorpio
Topaz
Veteran
Apple-Cranberry Salad
This tangy and sweet apple-cranberry salad will steal the show at your Thanksgiving feast this year.
INGREDIENTS • 6 slices of bacon • 1/3 cup balsamic vinaigrette
• 3/4 cup dried cranberries • 1 Honeycrisp apple, peeled and thinly sliced • 1/4 red onion, thinly sliced • 1/2 cup feta cheese
• 1/3 cup olive oil • 2 tbsp raw honey • 8 oz fresh baby spinach, rinsed and dried
DIRECTIONS
1. In a large skillet, cook bacon until crispy. Remove it from the pan and set on a paper towel-lined plate to cool. 2. In a small bowl, whisk together balsamic vinaigrette, olive oil, and honey. Set aside. 3. In a large bowl, add spinach, cranberries, apple slices, red onion, and feta. Crumble bacon pieces over the top. Use salad forks to toss ingredients thoroughly. 4. Add dressing to the salad and toss again until well-coated.
Inspired by WanderlustAndWellness.org
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Inside
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Chaos Is Here to Stay
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Don’t Let These Divorce Missteps Derail Your Case
How Background Noise Shapes Your Workflow
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Your Guide to Presenting a Strong Case in Child Custody Court
Apple-Cranberry Salad
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Bundle Up and Step Out
The Case for a Daily Walk LESS SCROLLING, MORE STROLLING
As the temperatures dip and daylight starts to dwindle sooner in the evenings, staying active often falls to the bottom of the priority list. It’s easy to settle into the routine of indoor comfort with more screens and less movement. However, carving out time for a daily walk, even in the chillier months, is a simple and effective way to stay physically and mentally sharp.
stroll. That quick burst of movement in the cold can also boost circulation, improve energy levels, and clear mental fog, especially if you’ve been sitting at a desk for most of the day.
CREATE A COZY ROUTINE YOU LOOK FORWARD TO. One of the best ways to stay consistent during
FALL AND WINTER ARE NATURE’S UNDERRATED WORKOUT MONTHS. There’s something calming about a quiet sidewalk covered in fall leaves or a peaceful neighborhood dusted with frost. The colder seasons offer a refreshing and grounding change of scenery. A short walk outdoors allows you to unplug and take in the subtle beauty that’s easy to miss when you’re rushing from one indoor task to the next.
these cooler months is to make your walk enjoyable. Layer up in comfortable gear,
choose a playlist or podcast you love, and set a daily reminder to step outside. Whether it’s 10 minutes around the block or a long weekend loop, consistency matters more than intensity.
MAKE IT SOCIAL, REWARDING, OR BOTH.
If you aren’t feeling motivated solo, ask a friend or neighbor to join you a few times a week. If you prefer going alone, add a small reward: a stop for a warm drink, or the satisfaction of checking it off your daily goals list. These little incentives can make your walk something
THE SCIENCE OF SEASONAL MOVEMENT IS REAL. Cooler air does more than wake you up. It makes your body work harder to stay warm, thus increasing the calorie burn of even a casual
to look forward to.
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