Now X April 2019

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No. 4: ‘THE MARKY

walk in on you doing these“exercises,”they may think you’d completely lost it. No. 2: ESTELLE GETTY — YOUNG AT HEART — BODY CONDITIONING “Congratulations, you figured out how to turn on your VCR,” says Estelle Getty at the begin- ning of this clip. “That’s the hardest part of this exercise video.”Normally, claiming that sticking a VHS in the machine and hitting play was more difficult than the workout itself would be seriously false advertising. But that’s not the case with Estelle’s body conditioning. When the exercises themselves include such backbreaking movements as raising your hands and saying, “I feel lousy,” the only sweat you’ll break is from trying to figure out how the heck this video came to exist. NO. 1: COUNTRY HIP-HOP DANCING What do you get when you mix line dancing instruction, a fitness program, and a healthy

dash of ‘90s hip-hop flavor? Diane Horner’s “Country Hip Hop” of course. We can neither confirm nor deny whether these fresh-to- death moves ever gained a foothold at square dances nationwide, but we’d love to see them in action. Watch this clip so you can break out the “country version of the running man” at your next dance party.

MARKWORKOUT’

Today, Mark Wahlberg is an Oscar-nominated actor and respected member of the Holly- wood elite. In the early ‘90s, though, he was known solely as the chiseled leader of Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. Nobody would’ve wantedWahlberg to create an instructional singing video, but they certainly wanted his abs. To help regular folks like us achieve his look, Wahlberg created “The Marky Mark Work- out” in 1993. If you like your fitness routines to include both sexual innuendo and dated ‘90s hip-hop slang, this is the workout for you. No. 3: ‘CRAZY FUNNY FACE LIFT EXERCISES’ Do you skip leg day? Never? Good for you. What about face day?Wait — you mean you’ve never heard of face day? You clearly haven’t watched this indescribably wacky video from the late ‘80s urging women to hold ridiculous face poses in order to fight wrinkles and other signs of aging. Let’s just say that if somebody were to

HONORABLE MENTION: NEARLY EVERY GIMMICK FITNESS PRODUCT EVER

In the era before “Shark Tank,” there were no celebrity investors to laugh your cockamamie workout product out of the market. As a result, we’ve seen inventors create everything under the sun in order to make a fast buck from those trying to get in shape. If you have ever seen advertisements for ThighMaster, Shake Weight, or Sauna Suit, you know exactly what we’re talking about.

needed help, so Wynne tied a strand of telephone wire to her collar and Smoky ran through a 70-foot-long pipe in a matter of minutes. Without Smoky, it would have taken three days to lay the wire. Her work kept over 250 ground crewmen and 40 fighter and reconnaissance planes out of danger from enemy bombings. In addition to saving lives on the battlefield, Smoky is also considered to be the first recorded therapy dog. She learned a number of tricks to cheer up troops and would visit injured soldiers at the hospital in New Guinea. After WorldWar II, Smoky andWynne visited veteran hospitals across the United States. “Corporal” Smoky lived for another 10 years after the war before dying on Feb. 21, 1957, at approximately 14 years old. Wynne would go on to write a memoir about his time with Smoky titled “Yorkie Doodle Dandy.” Almost 50 years after her death, a life-sized bronze statue of Smoky was erected at her final resting place in Lakewood, Ohio. Her statue is dedicated to the bravery of all war dogs, and it is a reminder that heroes come in all shapes and sizes. Yorkie Doodle Dandy Smoky the World War II Canine Hero

Considering the stress of combat, it’s no wonder military dogs tend to be tough breeds known for their size and strength. German shepherds, boxers, and various bully breeds are well-acquainted with the battlefield. But in WorldWar II, the most famous military dog weighed only 4 pounds and stood a mere 7 inches tall. Smoky the Yorkshire Terrier wasn’t exactly what most people associated with Shakespeare’s “let slip the dogs of war,” but her small size is part of what made her such a hero. In 1944, after being discovered beside a foxhole in the jungles of New Guinea, Smoky met Corporal William A. Wynne, an American soldier from Cleveland, Ohio. The two quickly became inseparable, and she stayed by Wynne’s side the entire time he was stationed in the South Pacific. Smoky is credited with going on 12 combat missions, surviving 150 air raids, parachuting 30 feet, and earning eight battle stars. Smoky’s sensitive hearing allowed her to alert Wynne and other soldiers of incoming air raids.

Smoky’s most famous act of heroism occurred when she went where no man could go at an air base at Lingayen Gulf, Luzon. The engineers

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