Even the best of our families experience these tensions. What to do about them is the problem. Adults can begin by learning all they can about the world their children are growing up in—visit .their youngsters’ schools, go to some of their school activities, get acquainted with their friends and encourage those friends to come to their home, check out teen rec ords and reading material. They might even like some of it! Beyond that, parents can cre ate a climate in their home so their youngsters feel free to talk with them about anything or any problem. Lending an open and sympathetic ear does not mean approving of wrong conduct or siding against a legitimate au thority acting fairly, but. it does offer a refuge from pressure and a security even the most stable young person needs a t times. All this may sound like a big challenge and more than a little frightening. But, “. . . Any of you does not know how to meet any particular problem, he has only to ask God — who gives gener ously to all men without making them foolish or guilty — and he may be quite sure the necessary wisdom will be given” (James 1:5, Phillips). Here is wonderful support for any parents or fam ily. The truth is young people want and are eager for adult interest and relationships. A good deal of my time is spent with the most disturbed element of our youth— the under-privileged, s c a r e d young delinquent and his opposite number, the o v e r -p r iv ile g e d , bored, often more delinquent con temporary from the right side of the tracks. I’ve talked, laughed, wept and prayed with them — and listened as well. If these youngsters can be reached, any youth can. Youngsters w an t acceptance. They want to know someone cares, really cares for th em . They’ve been told, “You have all the ability to make good” until they’re tired of the phrase. They are hungry for someone — par- FEBRUARY, 1970
bribery. They beg them to be good with cars, spending m o n e y , clothes, etc., ignoring the things money can never buy. Most im p o r t a n t , they want spiritual direction. Last night I talked with a high school senior who has been heavily involved in the drug scene. He’s now being held on burglary charges, and the drugs which he and a companion took were used at a party which resulted in the death of a teenage girl. Like so many young people, this young man was attracted to drugs by the pressure of the crowd, the lure of the forbidden, lack of proper information, and, perhaps most tragic of all, bore dom. “I didn’t have anything bet ter to do. A lot of the older guys say drugs really help you find out who you are and what life is all about,” he said. Drugs don’t real ly help. They merely create a tem porary world of illusion, offering a short-lived, unrealistic escape followed by a miserable and trag ic come-down. He had been to church way back when, but no body had ever told the young man about a personal encounter with the Lord. He was most open and eager as we talked, and later prayed, together. Another brilliant young man in a juvenile correctional institution told me, “I certainly didn’t want to be sent here. But if it took this to straighten out my life and bring me to Christ, then it’s the best break I ever got in my life.” And it is. The important thing is that nearly all of these young peo ple follow through on their com mitment and are now active in churches in the community. Young people can be reached. There is no gap between genera tions, only between people. God’s love can break down those bar riers if we allow Him. I pray we will. There’s a whole generation of eager, exciting, w o n d e r f u l young people waiting to know us —and Him. m Gordon R. McLean is executive director of the Santa Clara Valley Youth For Christ. 15
ent, teacher, pastor, counsellor, or friend — who will say, and mean, “I want to see you succeed; I really care if you do, and I’m will ing to help you.” They want u n d e r s ta n d in g . Every Sunday night for an hour I open the phone lines for an anonymous talk show with teens on a Top 40 radio station, and the calls pour in, not only on the air at the rate of about 2000 a night, but also all week long at my office. These young people are anxious to give their views on our topics or discuss their problems, many of them deep and serious. So very often these young people say there is no one they can talk to—adults either can’t, don’t, or won’t listen to them. When they do listen, it’s with the attitude, “Okay, say your piece and when you’re through, I’ll tell you a thing or two.” That is not really listening. They are not seeking someone to side with them against proper authority or excuse them when t h e y a r e wrong; they are hoping to find someone who will listen patiently and then level with them, offering a straight, sane counsel. Youth wants responsible stand ards. From all adults, they look for a consistency that says my patriotism is deeper than flag- waving, my moral integrity more than talk, my devotion to Christ and His church more than pious routine. As to parents, I ’ll never forget the young lady who told me, “I wish my Mom and Dad loved me enough to say ‘no’ once in a while.” They never restricted her, never c h e c k e d on her where abouts, never required anything of her in the way of responsibili ties. As a result, she seriously questioned their love f o r he r. Young people even seek limits as a means of defense against activi ties in their crowd. They’ll say to the gang, “I can’t ’cause my folks won’t let me,” and under their breath they’ll be thanking their parents for getting them out of a difficult predicament. Other parents attempt to influence con duct among their teenagers by
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