talking
really does his homework. Even so, he has barely managed to get pro moted. Last year he spent one week at a Christian camp and had a wonderful time. He enjoyed it so much. We noticed that it helped him physically, mentally and spiritually. I would like to see him go again this year. The problem is that my husband says our boy not only has to pass, but get good grades as well. Other wise, he won’t go to camp. I think this is too drastic. My husband is a Christian and wants to do what is right. But he has reached the point where he doesn’t know what to do next about the boy. What do you think about this? A . I think this is a fine letter and I’ll tell you why. You say you and your husband are both Christians, and that you want to do the right thing for your boy. Here is a boy who evidently has some type of problem. You say you have to stand over him to get him to do any schoolwork. And yet, the one thing that has helped him, the one thing he has responded to, you are planning to take away from him un less he does this and that. This is really a most unwise course. He needs to get away to a Christian camp and I would send him whenever possible — 1 summer or winter. In the camp atmosphere he can learn more about the Word of God and associate with Christian young people. This- kind of thinking sometimes crops up in our schools — both public and Christian. We deprive a child of the very influence that will meet his need. The child who is kept out of athletics or music because he doesn’t do this or that is usually the young ster who needs this activity most. You say your boy will not apply himself in school. Perhaps he really cannot. Rather than continuing this struggle for all of you, why don’t you seek professional help ? The prob lem evidently has been developing for some time, and will likely not im prove. You see, your son could be suffering from a physical problem which impedes his progress, or he might have an emotional disturbance which is preventing him from gain ing a fine education. You would be wise to find out now what the prob lem really is and try to find some possible solutions. Help at this time could benefit your son for the rest of his life. In summary, may I encourage you to seek the Lord’s help in gaining a better understanding of your son and giving him the training which can enable him to develop into a radiant, happy Christian.
FEATURE JOS
it over,
with Dr. Clyde M. Narramore
one of America's largest psychological clinics — The Christian Counseling Center in Rosemead, California.
Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia Uni versity, New York City, is a nationally known psychologist. He is the director of
make you happy, you can know that he really loves you. Something in your letter interests me a great deal. You say these ladies have been suffering from mental and emotional problems, and now they doubt their husbands’ love. This, of course, could be a reflection of their mental and emotional prob lem s. Someone who is mentally ill may think that no one loves him. An emo tionally-disturbed person who was never sure of much affection from his parents throughout childhood may wonder if he is loved. May I say it is an awful thing to go through life feeling that your mate does not love you, when actually the trouble is within yourself. Some one who has grown up without expe riencing much feeling of love may feel unlovely or unworthy. He won ders how anyone could love someone like him. I wonder if this may not be the problem these two ladies are actually facing when they feel that their husbands don’t love them. You could do your friends a real favor by encouraging them to explore their feelings with someone who is trained in understanding human be ings and their behavior. This could be a pastor, pastor’s wife or profes sional counselor. Coming to recognize and understand their feelings could not only bring these ladies relief, but also aid them in building happy re lationships in their home. Then you can help in another way. Lead them into the Word of God. As we read its pages, we discover over and over that God loves us. When we realize that He loves us so much, we in turn respond and express our love to Him. When this happens, we can also begin to show our love to other people. But if we are not sure God loves us, it is hard to express love to others.
HOW CAN A WOMAN KNOW IF HER HUSBAND REALLY LOVES HER?
Q . We always read your columns and find them so helpful. 1 wonder if you would discuss some of the ways a woman can tell if her husband really loves her. Two of my friends, who are suffering from mental and emo tional problems, doubt their hus bands’ love. I am sure both these men really do love their wives. The ladies read your column too, so 1 feel your discussion of this subject would be helpful to them. A. I appreciate your writing and want to thank you for raising this question. No doubt there are many people who wonder if their husbands or wives really love them. There are a number of ways, I believe, that anyone can know when someone loves them. First, consider if you are the ob ject of another’s respect and esteem. This involves an awareness of your worth as an individual and a will ingness to recognize strengths while minimizing weaknesses. Any man who respects his wife will demon strate a regard for her feelings. Then we can know someone loves us when he seeks our companionship. People tend to spend time with those they love and with whom they feel comfortable. In a loving relationship, two individuals enjoy each other’s company whether they are doing any thing special or not. Love is expressed, too, through what we do to make another person happy. There are so many ways, big and little, to say “I love you.” The husband and wife who love each oth er count it a joy to please, and will be found doing little things to bring their mate happiness. You cannot always tell that your mate loves you, however, by whether he tells you so. Some people have been reared in families who did not express their affection. It might be difficult for a man from such a home to tell his wife how much he loves her. So you can’t always judge a hus band’s love by how much he talks. But if he respects you, wants to be with you and enjoys doing things to
SHALL WE DEPRIVE HIM OF CAMP?
Q . We have an eleven-year-old son who will not apply himself in school. Taking away his privileges such as his bicycle, TV and allowance has not helped one bit. We have to stand over him and check to see that he
THE KING'S BUSINESS
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