The Accidental Counsellor or helper role is emotional first aid, not long-term support unless this is part of an existing relationship with the person. People in emotional distress usually want someone to ‘just’ listen to them. They don’t want advice, and it really helps to have someone give them space to explore their own thoughts and feelings. Just sitting with someone with negative feelings can lower distress. People are the experts in their own life. They have the ability to find the best way forward, but the immediate crisis may be clouding their usual coping techniques. As non-judgmental, respectful listeners, we can become sounding boards for people in distress that may enable them to reconnect with their coping skills or to be linked to additional help.
blended accidental counsellor
Safely and effectively support someone who might be in crisis
Communication skills are needed to be an effective helper. They allow a different response to distress and provide tools for connecting with others. Active listening is an important part of effective communication. By showing that you are making a conscious effort to understand what the other person is saying demonstrates that your goal is to help them. Reflection of feelings is a powerful aspect of active listening. By observing and then reflecting non-judgmentally on the feelings the other person is expressing enables a deeper connection. Open questions encourage the person to elaborate, disclose and explore their current situation. This ability steers away from problem solving and keeps the conversation about the help seeker and not the help giver. Sometimes closed questions are necessary, especially when checking on safety, and can provide the helper with clear, direct information.
Research tells us that we are more likely to seek support from a work colleague or a friend than from a manager or formal support pathways. So, it is important that we have basic skills and awareness to help assist others in any walk of life along with a repertoire of valuable conversation enablers should such a situation arise. A 60-minute eLearning module precedes the workshop component that provides basic skills to provide immediate support and assistance using the ‘Recognise, Respond, Refer’ model. Included are fundamental skills on how to ask openly about suicide risk and respond safely whatever the answer.
I was definitely that person who would just offer a solution as I thought that was being helpful. But it turns out just listening is so valuable, and then also learning how to listen and then what to do with what that person has told me.
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