King's Business - 1961-02

FOR PARE ITS

by Mrs. Clifton Hanna

so that if anything should happen to either parent, they are better prepared to face life. It teaches them to take suggestions and orders from other adults, and it is neces­ sary for children to learn to get along with non-relatives. Always a different person will teach your children some things you wouldn’t. The average mother is too busy doing so many things, that she doesn’t find the time to teach her children the extra things. A person whose only responsibility is taking care of children has time to teach them. Always when we return home the children are pleased to show us their new accomplishments. Once Ronny showed us that he had learned to scramble eggs. Another time Gary showed us that he had learned to slide down a pole. All in all, my husband and I have learned that on both sides absence makes the heart grow fonder. It is such a joy to be with the children again and they appreciate us the more. Of course there are problems to solve if you’re going to have a successful separate vacation. The most important one is finding the right person to stay with the children. In most cases I don’t advise asking grandparents or rel­ atives, because they are usually too easy on the children. It is best to have a capable housekeeper take over the home. Our boys need a firm hand. We’ve been fortunate in being able to get someone who will come each year. A mother has to have confidence in the person with whom she leaves her children. In all the many years we’ve tried separate vacations, there has never been a serious accident. Once the dog was hit by a car, and the housekeeper had to have him put to sleep. Another time one of the boys went through the glass shower door and didn’t even get a scratch. But another reason for having a paid employee take care of

P e o p l e are often surprised when I mention that my hus­ band and I take vacations without our children. They question, “ Don’t you worry?” “ How can you stand to be separated from them?” others simply ask, “Why don’t you take them with you?” The answers seem simple to me because, while my husband and I have always loved our children dearly, we have taken separate vacations for several years. Of course, when Ronald was a baby and we took our first vacation without him, it was only a week end at a nearby beach resort, where I could phone each day to check on his welfare. (I still phone two or three time a week.) Since then we’ve continued our separate vacations because we found they were so helpful. Naturally, there are two sides to the question—that of the parents, and that of the children; and it may be that the parents have a slight advantage. The average mother is so busy and so tense that even two or three days with­ out responsibility of her children will relax her. Even the luxury of being able to sleep late rests her. She begins to see her children in a different light. When she sees their faults in perspective, some things don’t seem as im­ portant as they did at home. Often she finds she has been scolding and punishing the children for relatively small things. And she figures out a different way to handle problems upon her return. Once when Clif and I were gone a month, by the time we returned, we couldn’t even remember the naughty things the children had done. Too, it’s marvelous what a little time alone with one’s husband can do for a marriage! It seems to bring back the romance. The husband and wife enjoy being together. They have time to discuss their problems, without inter­ ruptions. It’s surprising what areas of agreement they can reach by themselves. Then, on the children’s side, there are definite benefits. Being without mom and dad teaches them independence,

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