of one’s money, the use of one’s time, and the exercise of one’s talents. The child is not something to be handled or mishandled according to the whims and fancies of the parents; the child is an individual in his own right who is to be nurtured according to the will of God for that particular life. This rules out the tendency of some parents to relive their own lives in the lives of their children or the attempt to compensate for some lack in their lives by forcing the child into specific patterns. Since the parent is subject to the authority of God and stands in His stead over his child, it is neither appropri ate nor necessary for him, in admonishing the child, to say, “ You do this because I say so.” The wise parent, then, does not assume the role of a dictator or autocrat, but becomes the guide and teacher for the child. It must always be assumed that the parent has had more experience and knows more than the child, but he does not stand over the child to make every decision for him and restrict him in narrow pat terns of behavior. Men cannot attain unto the infinite wisdom of God, but does He not leave many decisions to the human mind? God has given us certain principles by which to make decisions and regulate our lives. So, too, the parent must furnish the child with a framework of Christian principles within which he may assume res ponsibility as rapidly as he is able. The parent should not make all the decisions and severely restrict behavior by constant reminders of “ Don’t do this” and “ No, you can’t do that.” As teacher and guide, the parents must always stand ready to furnish lovingly and unselfishly any information and counsel which the child may need or desire. Herein is the broad concept of true Christian discipline. This logically implies the necessity for the parents to be well-disciplined in their own lives. They may ex pect no more from their children than they are willing to live up to themselves. The attitudes which they show toward God, the church, other people, each other, govern ment and law, involuntarily set the pattern for the attitudes of their children. To gain the love and respect of their children parents need not compromise on Chris tian principles or lower their standards of ethics or con duct. J. Edgar Hoover says, “ Show me a home in which the parents practice self-discipline and I’ll show you a home where mother and father hold the love and respect of their children. . . . Discipline, fairly and consistently invoked, breeds pride and respect. Children want — des perately— to be disciplined.” 9 If parents realize their role as representatives or vice-regents of God, not only will they understand the seriousness of the disciplining process but will approach the task with the recognition of the fact that this is carried out for the sake of the children and the glory of God. The Bible has much to say about parental discipline. One of the most familiar passages is, “ He that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” 10 While some have interpreted this to mean that corporal punishment is necessary in all cases of punishment, Keil and Delitzch maintain that the “ rod” merely represents the means of punishment At 9. J. Edgar Hoover, “Where Does Discipline Begin?” This W eek Magazine, November 9, 1958. p. 16. 10. Proverbs 13:24.
pected to strive for perfection in this area? It seems of no little significance that five different times in his epistles Paul speaks of the leaders of the churches as being examples to them that believe.3 The Apostle Peter mentions this same idea in his first epistle.4 If, in his home discipline, a child is not taught to respect God, authority, his parents, others, and himself, why should we be surprised when he shows little respect for the house of God and others who come to worship in it? At the beginning of this article the statement was made that God has charged parents with certain respon sibilities. The truth of this statement must be under stood for the development of the right philosophy of Christian education, be it Christian education in the church or in the home. A child may commit himself to Christ at some service in the church and this may make a difference in his conduct in the home, but es sentially the flow is in the other direction. The parent cannot delegate to the church the matter of discipline. God has vested this responsibility in the parents. Dis cipline begins at home. Each pastor must recognize this principle in the interest of setting a good example for the flock. Furthermore, he must confront the parents in his congregation with this principle in order that re sponsibility may be assumed properly. To insure a good disciplinary situation in the home at least one basic factor must be recognized. Stated simply, parental authority comes from God. Apart from the divine order and loving grace it would be impossi ble for parents to bear children. The decision of husband and wife to have a child is far different from the decision of two business men to begin manufacturing a product. Husband and wife are dependent upon the grace of God; they must consider a child as the gift of God. “ That children are a gift bestowed by the grace of God is a characteristic teaching of the Bible.” 3 “ Lo, children are an heritage of our Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” 6 Because of this relationship of parents to God, final authority for the child does not reside in the parents, but in God. In the commenting on the verse, “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother,” 7 Perowne says, “ The ‘instruction of the father’ and ‘the law of the mother’ lend grace and dignity to the life and character, in so far as they are the instruction and the law of God Himself, the Uni versal Father, and because parents are His vice-regents in the education of their children.” 8 This is of consequence in two directions. First, the parents themselves are subject to the authority of God. There is not one code of life for the parents and a differ ent one for the child. The rearing of children becomes a matter of stewardship for the Lord, just as the handling 3. I Timothy 4:12; Philippians 3:17; I Thessalonians 1:6-7; II Thessalonians 3:9; Titus 2:7. 4. I Peter 5:3. 5. A. Cohen, Psalms. London: Soncino Press, 1956. p. 429.
6. Psalms 127:3. 7. Proverbs 1:8-9.
8. T. T. Perowne, The Proverbs (A. F. Kirkpatrick, General Editor for the Old Testament, The Cambridge Bible for schools and colleges.) Cambridge: University Press, 1914. p. 42.
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FEBRUARY, 1961
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