■ Other moms’ lives feel more organized, calm, or put-together than yours ■ You minimize your own wins because they don’t feel impressive enough ■ You assume others are doing motherhood “better” than you are ■ You leave your phone feeling more anxious than when you picked it up ■ You find yourself mentally “editing” your own life to make it look more acceptable to others ■ You start questioning your routines, choices, or parenting style after seeing someone else’s post ■ You feel guilty for resting because it looks like other moms are constantly productive ■ You compare your child’s milestones, behavior, or activities to what you see online ■ You scroll for “a break,” but end up feeling more drained than before ■ You catch yourself curating your own life in your head, thinking about how it would “look” to others before you even post or share it
for the life she worked hard to build,” notes Mosier, “Yet, two things can be true. We can be grateful for what we have and still feel restless, overwhelmed, or even despairing at times.”The reality is that at the end of the night, being the chef, chauffeur, nurse, ther- apist, secretary, etc. is tiring; and when our heads hit the pillow, we still manage to make time to worry if we are doing enough to be the best mom, wife, worker, friend, etc. BREAKING THE CYCLE It takes a village, as they say, and friends become the family we choose. A support network that is also in the thick of parent- hood can help forge a community in which to gain support and maybe do a little venting, too. Mosier echoes, “Having other moms to commiserate with isn't just fun, it’s integral. It helps us normalize the extreme range of emotions so common to parenting, lets us laugh and cry about it together. And when we share our struggles, it gives other moms permission to do the same.” Realizing we are all conductors of our own little hot mess express trains is truly a thing of beauty. But sometimes the pressure to keep up can be
reassuring to know that it is okay to ask for help, too. Whether you are a mom trying to be perfect, or a mom who thinks she’s not doing enough, at the end of the day, parenting is messy for all of us, even for the moms who avoid the topic and share only the good stuff. Motherhood is full of unglamorous, unavoid- able experiences that cross every divide we may possess. Consider this: If you ever feel a shred of jealousy looking at a snap of that picture-perfect family, every baby is a ticking time bomb—it only takes one little half-smile and a tiny grunt for a blown-out diaper up the back to retire a super cute outfit for good. And every toddler is one “this ketchup is too spicy” away from a tantrum. And our teen- agers all find their snark during puberty. So, log off of social media for a bit, spend some time with fellow messy-moms, live your life honestly, and just know that children don’t need perfection—they just need a mom who is present, loving, and you. ARE YOU IN COMPARISON MODE? Social media comparison is easy to slip into. Here are a few signs you might be stuck in it: ■ You feel “behind” after scrolling, even when nothing is wrong
If a few of these feel familiar, you’re not alone. Comparison is often a habit, not a truth.
overwhelming. With mental health awareness being commonplace, it is
BRPARENTS.COM | MAY 2026
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