The Dream Team
A BIG THANK-YOU TO OUR STAFF
Our team of attorneys is top-notch. We’re thankful for Rosalie ’s detail- oriented and thoughtful approach to every case as well as how she puts aside her emotions to provide excellent, level-headed advice. We’re thankful for Sarina , whose wisdom in dealing with family matters extends far beyond her work as an attorney, and who has provided so many excellent results in difficult cases. We’re thankful for Liana , whom we can always count on to handle the more complicated and bitter fights and see them through with experience. We’re thankful for Rebecca , for being thoughtful, caring, and kind, but also for how she quickly turns furious and staunch to fight for her clients’ needs. We’re thankful for Charlie , who manages every day to be driven, knowledgeable, and dependable. And we’re thankful for Zak ’s intelligence, excellent writing, and tenacious spirit that does not back down. Our paralegals are also excellent and invaluable to our work. We are thankful for Jenny ’s attention to detail and go-getter attitude. We’re also thankful for Amber , who always is classy, organized, and diligent in her work. Last but not least, we are thankful for our office manager Kyla — with her smart and practical approach to every issue, she is always someone we can count on. Without our team working together like a well-oiled machine, we would not be able to help nearly as many clients as we currently do. We’re so thankful to our little crew and glad to have the chance to give them a shoutout, though words cannot express how truly great they are! One of Thanksgiving’s biggest gifts to us is the reminder to slow down and be grateful. Most of us seem to be hardwired to focus on the problems in our lives rather than the good things. Gratitude not only allows us to take stock of the blessings we have in our lives, but also has been proven to benefit our mental and physical health. Reflecting on the things we’re grateful for reduces stress, lessens feelings of envy and regret, and boosts our self-confidence. Especially in today’s world, we could probably use those benefits. Whether the things you’re grateful for are small like a favorite sweater or large like an unbeatable group of colleagues, we hope you’ll take the time this holiday to acknowledge them and give thanks. Happy Thanksgiving!
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, we want to take a moment to express gratitude for the blessings in our lives. And after our wonderful families, the thing we’re most grateful for is our amazing staff here at the firm.
When we first started out, it was just Chris on his own. In addition to his regular duties as an attorney, he did scheduling, discovery, and all the work related to getting the word out about the new business. He worked tirelessly to get the firm off the ground and grow it into what it is today. But all of this would not be possible if it wasn’t for our team’s hard work and dedication. They say it takes a village, and it truly does. Our team now consists of eight lawyers, two paralegals, and an office manager, plus a bookkeeper and several contractors. We are thankful every day for these instrumental team members who keep the firm running from top to bottom.
–Ashley and Chris Bruce
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It’s Not Just the Wicked Witch of the West
The Benefits of Positive Relationships
Narcissists Have Flying Monkeys, Too
If you’ve ever seen “The Wizard of Oz,” you know the movie’s villain, the Wicked Witch of the West, has a team of flying monkeys doing her bidding. She tells them what to do, and they comply without question, attacking their master’s enemies on command. The witch just might have been a narcissist, because narcissists have flying monkeys, too. Theirs aren’t literal monkeys with tiny vests and hats, but rather friends, family members, and spouses who get caught up in the narcissist’s schemes and attack others on their behalf. Flying monkeys go after the narcissist’s “enemies” by guilt-tripping them, gaslighting them, bad-mouthing them, or otherwise justifying the narcissist’s bad behavior. They also allow the narcissist to keep their hands relatively clean, since the flying monkeys do so much of the dirty work. There are many reasons a person becomes a flying monkey. Sometimes, they’re especially protective of the narcissist and don’t believe they can do anything wrong (seen often in parent/child relationships). Other times, they thrive on the drama and know their role will keep them at the center of any conflict. Flying monkeys can also be narcissists themselves and see their proximity to the other narcissist as a good way to gain attention and status (this happens often in the workplace). Many flying monkeys are also victims of abuse, who are generally manipulated or brow-beaten into doing the narcissist’s bidding. If a victim is sure they’re always on the abuser’s side by going on the attack against others, they lower the risk of facing the abuser’s rage themselves. Emotional abuse also affects a person’s sense of right and wrong, along with their decision-making ability. Flying monkeys often don’t realize what they’re doing, and when they try to stop, their narcissist usually doesn’t take it well. In fact, the ex-monkey will likely face the wrath of the remaining flock directly — especially in the case of divorce. It can take time and assistance for an ex-monkey to extricate themselves from the narcissist. Anyone who has done a narcissist’s dirty work will have some amends to make to the people around them, and some relationships may ultimately be beyond repair. When someone decides to hang up their monkey wings, the best thing they can do for themselves is seek therapy to understand why they took on this role — and how to prevent it from happening again.
Good for Mind and Health
Connecting with other humans in a positive way is one of the most profound experiences we have. That positivity is one of the greatest virtues — it’s contagious, and engaging in happy relationships with others is extremely important not only for our minds but also for our health. Longer Lives Studies have actually shown that when people are involved in positive relationships, they live longer. This is likely attributed to decreased stress, as stress can exact a toll on the entire body. Positive relationships can also encourage us to give up negative habits such as drinking or smoking, which cause many health problems and concerns. Healthy habits can help people live longer lives. Quicker Healing Positive people in our lives can distract us from pain, remind us to take medication, be our advocates, and simply reduce stress. And less stress means healing takes place faster. Those who have a support person feel more confident and prepared to undergo surgeries and fight illnesses as well. Boosted Immune Systems It makes sense — people who have less stress have stronger immune systems. During times of high stress, our bodies are more susceptible to illnesses because our immune system’s ability to fight off antigens is reduced. The stress hormone corticosteroid can also lower the number of lymphocytes available to fight infection. However, when we are in a happy and loving relationship, our bodies produce oxytocin, and we are less likely to get sick. Better Physical Shape Being in a positive relationship, especially a romantic one, can provide the motivation to be the best version of ourselves. This includes our physical condition, too! Having a friend or workout partner to encourage accountability and even push us out of our comfort zone a bit at the gym can keep us motivated. Being in a positive, healthy, and happy relationship means we listen to each other, offer advice, openly communicate without judgment, practice respect and trust, and engage in healthy activities together. So, it’s no surprise that positive relationships work wonders for our health and happiness.
Is your friend or client married to a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic husband?
OUR BOOKS CAN HELP!
The book can be downloaded for FREE at DivorceInformationBooks.com.
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To Mediate or Not?
When a Successful Outcome Is Likely
Most divorce cases aren’t settled in court, and mediation generally provides a faster, less stressful, and more affordable resolution. Thankfully, either party can choose to walk away from a mediation, so there’s not a lot to lose by trying — but success is more likely when the following factors are present. It’s an amicable or mutual split. Mediation is best for couples who want to complete the process quickly or aren’t looking to cause each other additional pain. If one or both parties is feeling spiteful or vindictive — or if one spouse is trying to draw out the process in hopes of winning their partner back — a fair agreement is unlikely to come from mediation. There’s no history of abuse. Abusive spouses will generally try to use the divorce process to inflict pain on their victim. If the victim initiates the divorce, the abuser will likely be furious that their spouse is leaving and try to regain control with outrageous demands. Even if the abuser is the one who filed, their narcissistic behavior makes it unlikely they’ll be willing to let their victim “win” the proceedings. Both parties are knowledgeable about and forthcoming with finances. It’s common for one spouse to have more knowledge of the household’s finances than the other. In these cases, a discovery process will be needed to locate all assets
so a fair settlement can be reached. If both spouses are familiar with the household’s financial situation and willing to provide documentation, however, mediation is more likely to go smoothly. The couple already agrees on custody terms . Custody battles can quickly turn acrimonious, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Due to existing work arrangements and caretaking duties, both spouses might agree where their children should live all or most of the time. When this is the case, it will be far easier to reach a settlement — plus, it will be easier on the kids. Mediation doesn’t mean you have to go it alone — lawyers can be, and often are, involved in the process. A person is much more likely to reach a fair settlement with the help of an experienced attorney who understands and can represent their interests. If you know someone who is going through a divorce, Bruce Law Firm can provide compassionate yet firm representation — in mediation or in court.
Have a LAUGH
Easy Cranberry- Apple Salad
Inspired by CookieAndKate.com
Want the taste of fall without the calories? Try this quick and easy salad, topped with homemade apple cider vinaigrette.
Ingredients
For the salad: •
For the dressing: •
1/4 cup dried pumpkin seeds
1/4 cup olive oil
• •
5 cups salad mix
• • • •
1 1/2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
2 Granny Smith apples, chopped into bite- size pieces
1 1/2 tsp honey
1 tsp Dijon mustard
• •
1/3 cup dried cranberries
Salt and pepper to taste
1/3 cup goat cheese, crumbled
Directions
1. In a skillet over medium heat, toast the pumpkin seeds until fragrant, then set aside. 2. In a small jar or bowl, whisk together all dressing ingredients, then set aside. 3. Combine all salad ingredients in a large bowl. Drizzle with dressing until lightly coated, then toss and serve!
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Thanking Our Amazing Staff page 1
7 K H % H Q H S W V R I 3 R V L W L Y H 5 H O D W L R Q V K L S V Are You Doing a Narcissist’s Dirty Work? page 2 : K H Q 6 K R X O G D ' L Y R U F H * R 7 K U R X J K Mediation? Easy Cranberry-Apple Salad page 3
7 K D Q N V J L Y L Q J ' L Q Q H U 7 K D W ( Y H U \ R Q H Can Enjoy page 4
Thanksgiving Dinner for All How to Cook for Diabetics and Vegans on Turkey Day
For the main meal, turkey is fine if you hold off on any brown sugar or honey glaze. Green bean casserole is safe as well, and stuffing can be included as long as you use whole-grain bread. For dessert, parfaits made with Greek yogurt, fresh fruit, and sliced almonds are healthy and tasty and can round out the perfect meal. Vegans The best thing about cooking Thanksgiving for a vegan is that there are plenty of substitutes for classic dishes. Vegan turkeys are available at most grocery stores. It may not look like your traditional turkey since there are no bones, but it still cooks and tastes like a turkey. If a vegan turkey is out of the question, you can try making a mushroom Wellington or roasted cauliflower as a replacement.
Alongside family and football, food is often the highlight of Thanksgiving. But if you’re cooking dinner for a large group, crafting the perfect menu can be difficult. Veganism and vegetarianism are more popular than ever, and it can be frustrating finding dishes that everyone can enjoy — or even eat at all, in the case of a diabetic friend or family member. Luckily, there are plenty of options to create an amazing meal for any group of diverse diners. Diabetics Thanksgiving is a stressful time for anyone who monitors their blood sugar. Sweet potato casserole and sugar-packed pies can tempt even the most diet- conscious diabetic. But undereating can be as unhealthy for diabetics as overeating, so it’s important to include appetizers in your Thanksgiving menu. Healthy options include raw vegetables and hummus, roasted nuts, shrimp cocktail, or a cheeseboard.
grocery stores carry a variety of gluten-free and vegan desserts at their bakery, such as nondairy ice cream and flourless cookies, that taste similar or identical to their gluten-filled, non-vegan counterparts.
The holidays are a great time to come together, and with these options, you can make everyone feel included in the celebration.
For side dishes, vegan macaroni and cheese and roasted Brussels sprouts are easy and safe. As for dessert, most
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