ducive to maladjustment. She felt conflicting emotions of superiority and inferiority. Talking with her Christian psychologist, she began to realize that she had been hiding many of her feelings from herself. She had felt that, as a Christian, she must continually “be in the showcase” and do no wrong. However, like the Apostle Paul, she found that “the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.” She began to realize what Jesus meant when He said, “Without Me, ye can do nothing.” There was only one way, and that was to quit trying; surrender her life; and allow Christ to live the Christian life in her, for only He could do so according to Romans 12:1 “. . . Present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, and acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable serv ice” and I John 4:17b: “For we realize that our life in this world is actually His life lived in us.” (Phillips Translation). After considerable struggle, Nell emotionally accepted the fact that she was still a human being, with a carnal nature warring against the life of the Spirit in her and
N e l l h a d t a l k e d to her counselor several times about the problems of living a single life. Finally, Nell raised this personal question: “How does a Christian handle her sex drives when she is single? I go about doing good works and trying to live the Christian life, but I am beset by this personal problem. I feel that I need to be married. Surely, every thing can’t be in the realm of the spiritual!” Thus Nell voiced the problem of many single wom en, who for various reasons have not found a life mate. Sometimes . it is; because they are afraid of men due to unfortunate experiences in their past. Sometimes they have had to forego marrying the man they loved because of other responsibilities which made it impractical, if not impossible. Others didn’t seem to attract the. sort of man that appealed to them. So here they are in their middle years, Christian women without the experience of married love. Widowed women have somewhat the same problem. They may even feel it is more difficult because they have known married companionship. On the other hand, a
sex and the single girl A
byJeanette Aerea
Consulting Psycologist and Marriage Counselor
that she had attitudes and unChristlike feelings. Finally, in humility and tears, she turned her life over to God, saying, “I’m quitting, God. I can’t do it. I turn my life over to You. From now on, you’re my Captain and I’ll depend on You alone.” The Lord did meet her need and she had a new sense of His presence. My, what happiness and peace filled her heart! She walked and talked with Him. At times she would slip back into the old patterns of self-effort and pride and would fail. But she learned to confess quickly and reaffirm her pledge of surrender; and again forgiveness and cleansing would be experienced (I John 1:9). Thus fel lowship was renewed, and peace and joy returned. She learned to “cut the nerve of her instinctive actions by obeying the Spirit” (Rom. 8:13, Phillips). Speaking of her former quest, she said, “I thought I had to have sex, that Jesus wasn’t all-sufficient. But I found that God doesn’t get rid of the natural longings of the heart; He fulfills them. He is completely satisfy ing!”
woman who has never married often feels it is more onerous for her because she has never experienced sex satisfaction. As one woman put it, “They (the widowed) at least have been loved and have those memories to sustain them.” In either case, there is a very real need, and if unsatisfied, heartache, loneliness, and frustration usually result. Such women are advised to sublimate, and this does prove satisfying to many. They involve themselves in creative activities, such as forming new movements, drawing, painting, doing church work, teaching Sun day School, and a variety of other meaningful, helpful activities. However, there are some who find that these activities do not completely solve their problem. There is still an empty, lonely feeling too much of the time. They do •have urges they feel can only be satisfied through sexual gratification. Yet indulgence brings subsequent feelings of frustration and shame. What is the solution? Nell’s background was filled with experiences con-
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THE KING'S BUSINESS
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