From the Funny Files
Lawyer Jokes for a Quick Laugh
Are you ready to have a laugh at a lawyer’s expense? With April being National Humor Month, I figured it was a good time to remind everyone that laughter is often the best gift we can give to ourselves and others. Of course, that means joking about ourselves, too. Life can be tough, but we shouldn’t take it too seriously all the time. Here are a few family-friendly lawyer jokes that made me chuckle when I came across them online. Some are snappy, others are Dad joke groan- worthy, and all are hopefully going to put a smile on your face!
SUDOKU
What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? Accountants know they’re boring.
CRAB RANGOON MAC AND CHEESE
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
What kind of underwear do lawyers wear? Briefs!
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? An offer you can’t understand.
INGREDIENTS
Why are lawyers always so charming? Because they have their own appeal.
• 1/2 lb elbow pasta • 8 oz Jack cheese, grated • 8 oz cream cheese • 1 bunch scallions, chopped • 1/2 cup pickled jalapeños, chopped (optional)
• 2 tbsp soy sauce • 1/4 cup milk • 1/2 tbsp red pepper flakes • 1/2 lb lump crab • 12 wonton wrappers
When attorneys get married, they don’t say, “I do”; they say, “I accept the terms and conditions.”
Why did the judge grant the penguin bail? He wasn’t a flight risk.
What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.
DIRECTIONS
What do you call a lawyer who wins a case against a mime? A motionless victory.
1. Bring water to a boil for the pasta and preheat the oven to 350 F. 2. Drop pasta into boiling water. 3. In a bowl, mix all the ingredients except pasta and wonton wrappers; stir well. 4. Just before the pasta is ready, add about 1/2 cup of pasta water to the cheese mixture; stir well. 5. Strain pasta and add to cheese mixture. Stir, then place it in a baking dish or individual ramekins. 6. Bake for 25–30 minutes until bubbly and creamy. 7. While baking, cut wontons into triangles and fry batches in oil until crispy. 8. Drain wontons and season with salt. 9. Serve pasta with the crispy wonton wrappers.
Why did the lawyer make coffee? There were sufficient grounds.
Why did the scarecrow become a lawyer? Because he was outstanding in his field!
The problem with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and other people don’t think they’re jokes!
–Kevin Mottley
Inspired by TheFoodInMyBeard.com
MottleyLawFirm.com | 3
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