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In our case, Dad took on most of the driving lessons, while Mom stayed back and offered encouragement from a safer distance. It turned out to be a good balance, and we were lucky. All five of our kids turned into safe, capable drivers. That said, there are still nights when David wakes up yelling, “The brakes, the brakes!” Some memories leave a mark. Despite the stress, the white-knuckle moments, and the extra gray hairs, we’d do it all over again. Teaching our kids to drive was just another part of helping them become independent. And like most parts of parenting, it was messy, memorable, and more rewarding than we expected. –David and Irma Bennett
What’s Really in Your Control? SHIFTING FROM CHAOS TO CLARITY
Some people go through life feeling like they’re always reacting to whatever the world throws at them. Others feel more like they’re behind the wheel, steering through the ups and downs with a sense of purpose and direction. That difference comes down to something psychologists call locus of control, and it can affect everything, from how we deal with stress to how we define success. If you feel you can control outside forces and that your decisions and actions can affect outcomes, you have what psychologists call an internal locus of control. If you lean this way, you often take responsibility for your choices and believe your efforts matter. With
an external locus, you’re more likely to feel like life just happens to you. Your circumstances, the people around you, or even just bad luck get most of the credit or the blame. While we likely lean one way more than the other, none of us has 100% internal or external locus of control. You can think of it as a continuum. Most of us lie somewhere in between the extremes. And to be fair, some things really are out of our control. Random happenings occur daily, but the more we focus on the things that are in our hands, the more grounded and resilient we tend to become.
chaos of life gets thrown our way? Start with the small stuff that you always have control over. That includes what time you go to bed and get up, the energy you bring to relationships, and how you respond to frustrating situations. When you focus more on these areas of life, it reminds you of your personal agency and helps shift your perspective. Ultimately, we may not get to choose every situation we find ourselves in, but we do have a say in how we show up. When things feel off-track, ask yourself, “What part of this is within my control?” That simple question can be enough to move you from stuck to steady and help you see that you have more power than you thought.
So, what can we do to hold onto that sense of control when the
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