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have been able to explore their own interests using online tools and apps. Our oldest even started teaching himself how to compose music using an app we found. That’s how we learned he has perfect pitch and can play by ear. We would’ve never discovered that so early without these tools. They’ve also picked up new skills in art and writing, completely self-taught. There are endless videos and tutorials out there, and our kids are constantly digging into them. It’s fun to watch them light up over a topic and take the initiative to learn more. That curiosity might have always been there, but now they have a way to follow it on their own. Reading has been another unexpected win. With library apps and Kindle readers, they’re able to check out books from anywhere, and it’s made it easier for all of us to keep up that love of reading without having to take repeated
trips to the library. And then there’s FaceTime. We live far from family, but being able to pull someone up on the iPad and talk face-to-face makes a big difference. When we were kids, that kind of connection didn’t exist. Now it’s normal, and we’re very grateful for that. We haven’t figured it all out, and we probably never will. Some days we worry we’re too strict, other days too relaxed. But we’re not aiming for perfect. We just keep talking about what wise use looks like and reminding our kids that screens can’t replace real connection. Pictures of nature aren’t the same as stepping outside. Watching clips of someone else’s life isn’t the same as living your own. So, we’re delaying some things for now, not out of fear but because childhood only happens once. The digital world will still be there when they’re ready. –Kevin and Sierra Bennett
What’s Really in Your Control? SHIFTING FROM CHAOS TO CLARITY
Some people go through life feeling like they’re always reacting to whatever the world throws at them. Others feel more like they’re behind the wheel, steering through the ups and downs with a sense of purpose and direction. That difference comes down to something psychologists call locus of control, and it can affect everything, from how we deal with stress to how we define success. If you feel you can control outside forces and that your decisions and actions can affect outcomes, you have what psychologists call an internal locus of control. If you lean this way, you often take responsibility for your choices and believe your efforts matter. With
an external locus, you’re more likely to feel like life just happens to you. Your circumstances, the people around you, or even just bad luck get most of the credit or the blame. While we likely lean one way more than the other, none of us has 100% internal or external locus of control. You can think of it as a continuum. Most of us lie somewhere in between the extremes. And to be fair, some things really are out of our control. Random happenings occur daily, but the more we focus on the things that are in our hands, the more grounded and resilient we tend to become.
chaos of life gets thrown our way? Start with the small stuff that you always have control over. That includes what time you go to bed and get up, the energy you bring to relationships, and how you respond to frustrating situations. When you focus more on these areas of life, it reminds you of your personal agency and helps shift your perspective. Ultimately, we may not get to choose every situation we find ourselves in, but we do have a say in how we show up. When things feel off-track, ask yourself, “What part of this is within my control?” That simple question can be enough to move you from stuck to steady and help you see that you have more power than you thought.
So, what can we do to hold onto that sense of control when the
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