ACTIVE LISTENING
• Avoid giving advice, lecturing, judging, criticizing, blaming, sympathizing, interrogating, analysing or being sarcastic. • Convey understanding of both the emotion and content of the statement. • To be of any help, the listener cannot make judgements and should not offer suggestions. This is not helpful because you may not have all the information that is needed to solve the problem effectively. • Also, you would be telling the person how to solve the problem as if it were your own. What the other person needs most, is someone to listen.
EXERCISE 4: DISCUSSION
1. What happens when clients are personal friends?
2. What ideas or suggestions do you have to make sure that your professional and personal lives do not clash in this situation?
PITFALLS TO AVOID WITH CLIENTS
1. Being triggered ourselves:
Often, we get upset along with the client because their issue reminds us of an issue of our own. Their grief over their father's death reminds us of our sick father who we are frightened might die. Being triggered is not a pitfall, but what we say or do in this situation could be. It is okay to say nothing and let your concern express itself silently. We could mix our feelings into their situation and bring our judgements to bear on the situation, where it would not be appropriate.
2. Judging or analysing:
Sometimes when a client gives us some problem, we may be tempted to start giving our opinion on the situation and analysing it for them. This approach brings forth our judgements and the client may leave feeling judged or misunderstood. Also, what we think is best, may or may not be what is best for that person.
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