“L ife is like riding a bicycle . T o keep your balance , you must keep moving .” –A lbert E instein
We’re regularly urged to believe in ourselves but less often reminded to believe in each other. In “The Go-Giver Marriage,” authors John David Mann and Ana Gabriel Mann named “believe” their fourth secret to a successful relationship. As with the duo’s other tips, the guidance applies far beyond romance to every aspect of our lives. We all have insecurities that lead us to question ourselves and our choices. As children, we relied on those close to us to lift us up and help us gain confidence. That need doesn’t disappear when we’re adults; everyone appreciates validation. More words of affirmation and fewer words of criticism help keep relationships healthy and positive. This secret is particularly crucial for The Manely Firm because divorce almost always erodes a person’s self-confidence. Our clients often find themselves questioning their values, judgment, and futures. Our ability to demonstrate that we believe in them goes a long way in how they navigate a difficult and stressful time. In their book, the Manns explain that contempt is the opposite of believing in someone. All types of relationships are more likely to fall apart once contempt slips into your interactions. We can avoid this problem by separating what someone does from who someone is. For example, say a coworker speaks over you in meetings and dismisses your opinion. You could address the problem by calling them self-centered and closed-minded. Or you could be more productive by saying, “It upsets me when you cut me off in meetings and makes me feel like you don’t respect my experience.” You can call out hurtful or disrespectful behavior in healthy and productive ways. In other words, identifying problematic behaviors is healthy, but labeling people based on those behaviors is destructive. Labeling people can breed contempt and defensiveness, but identifying problems creates opportunities for discussions and solutions. Belief involves remembering the goodness in people and recognizing their positive attributes. The Manns recommend praising people for who they are while reserving criticism for what they do. Everyone at The Manely Firm tries to model these behaviors for our clients struggling with an ex-spouse or having difficulty with their children. Doing so also strengthens our relationships with each other so we can be more effective for our clients. How Confidence and Encouragement Improve Relationships T he P ower of B elief
T asty A pple P ie
I ngredients
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2 9-inch unbaked pie crusts
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3/4 cup granulated sugar 2 tbsp all-purpose flour
6 cups thinly sliced peeled apples
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tbsp butter
D irections 1. Preheat oven to 425 F. 2.
Place 1 pie crust in a 9-inch pie plate.
3. In a large bowl, combine apples, cinnamon, sugar, and flour. 4. Spoon mixture into pastry-lined pie plate and dot with butter. 5. Cut remaining crust into 1/2-inch-wide strips, then arrange strips in a lattice design over top of pie. 6. Trim, seal, and flute edges. 7. Bake for 35 minutes or until crust is golden brown and filling is bubbly.
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