Candlelight Magazine 006

move quickly. Even when well-intentioned, this can quietly teach griev- ers that sadness is something to manage away—rather than something to move through. forward Modern psychology increasingly emphasizes that mourning is not a prob- lem to solve. It is a process of integration—learning to live in a world permanent- ly changed by love and loss. grief The goal isn’t to stop hurting. The goal is to make room for the pain to soften over time.

Ma k e

s p a c e

f o r

r e l e a s e .

Grief expres- sion in some form: tears, words, silence, memory. needs

This doesn’t have to be con- stant or public. But it does need somewhere safe to land. Even small rituals—journal- ing, walking, sitting with pho- tographs, talking with one trusted person—help the brain process loss instead of storing it. Let grief be manageable y e t v i s i b l e .

So how do we care for children, partners, and families while still honoring our own grief? Research (and the lived ex- perience of mourners) points to a few gentle truths:

For parents especially, showing gentle sadness teaches children that emotions are survivable. You don’t need to col- lapse in front of them. But you can say, “I’m sad to- day because I miss them.”

This models honesty, not fear.

A c c e p t

w i t h o u t

h e l p

a p o l o g y .

Social support remains one of the strongest predictors of healthy grief adaptation.

Not ing.

advice.

Not

fix -

Simply

presence.

Winter 2026

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