family tries to hide the conflict, people can pick up on things. The trickiest part is when fami- lies disagree about what should happen—whether it’s the dying person’s wishes or decisions by
the healthcare providers. That’s probably the most challenging scenario. But really, as a doula, you have to meet people where they are, not where you want them to be. You have to say, “What are your three basic goals? Can we agree on a compromise?” Some - times there’s not much you can fix, but some - times you can reduce reactivity and come up with an actionable plan. And then, in terms of processing something
traumatic in the moment, my biggest piece of ad- vice is to give yourself grace. That’s the most important thing. You’re always going to feel like you’re not doing things right, or that you’re not feeling enough, or that you’re feeling too much. Everyone experiences grief dif- ferently—even from loss to loss. Every loss I’ve ever had has been a different type of grief for me. So just knowing that grief is unique to everyone, and that
Winter 2026
25
Made with FlippingBook interactive PDF creator