Dear Sober Queens
If the woman in the bath is unemployed, say, this self-care becomes viewed as lazy and shameful; a similar shift happens when the intention behind the wine in the bath shifts from indulgence to need. Now I am a woman who is lying in the bath soaking in fragrant water and drenched in ethanol, not as some hard-earned treat but out of pitiable desperation. I didn't see this subtle shift from want to need until it was too late. The evolution of my drinking was insidious. Though my appetite for alcohol had always seemed intense, it didn't encroach on my life until suddenly, one day, it did.” - Sophie White So you have done the wedding sober, the graduation sober, the family gathering, the girls weekend, the vacation, the sunset on the beach; you have conquered it all.
Many things have unfolded this week and one of the most powerful statements whether you are a believer or not came from Denzel Washington., "at your highest moment, be careful, that's when the devil comes for you.' He is a wise man indeed. Many of you talk of Moderation Marcus (see earlier email announcement) pouncing when the BIG event or moment has passed. You have followed your plan to the letter of the law through the holiday, through the graduation and on a random nothing-Tuesday you cave. You cave to the whispers and the bullshit that tells you that WINE = REWARD and you naively convince yourself that you can get on the sober horse tomorrow.
You got promoted. Or bought a new car. Our got a new house. Or have fallen in love.
Perish the thought ladies, but what if tomorrow never comes?
" I've come to understand that bargaining or making any kind of deal with myself needs to be a red flag from here on out. Compromising my integrity is another red flag. That's the biggest red flag of all. Not burgundy. Not maroon. Not crimson. Stop sign RED." That's me paraphrasing Tammi Salas
It's Tuesday. Or Wednesday.
You are feeling good. Feeling strong.
It's 237 days alcohol-free. And you begin to think.. And then think some more. And you do the unthinkable. You DECIDE to celebrate with wine…. Because you are good to go, And you read the books, the podcasts and it's JUST ONE…
'At your highest moment, be careful, that's when the devil comes for you.' Denzel
“At first, the glass of wine in the evening or the vodka tonic in the bath was the epitome of millennial therapy. A socially sanctioned act of self-care: my God-given right and reward as a high-achieving, fully functioning adult woman. As long as I had a book to read and scented candle lit, the dwindling portions of tonic giving way to straight vodka in my glass didn't matter. Tweak the image somewhat and society's perceptions shift.
And I read your email and think, oh sweet divine bless…….and then I read another message from last year and it restores my faith..
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