Inward. Turn to your practices. Turn to what brings you joy and what makes you feel DELICIOUS.
ography, and performance as my mediums for expression and execution of ideas. They are forms that have held me through the hardness and forms that will continue to cre- ate space for me to metabolize, grieve, rest, and release. I am grateful for the sanctuary of the dance studio, my faithful friend and abode. I can stay inside a dance studio forever and speak with the space to see what it needs from me. Dance studio as church, as a clean slate, as club space where I come to surrender and wrestle with whatever is at the surface, with whatever is alive for me in the moment. It is a site of generative dissonance where I can play with plasticity and elasticity and mold myself into whomever I desire, where I can express the things that I’ve silenced, and perform the future in the now. This space is what makes time travel possible. It is a space where I am able to move with various artistic and ancestral lineages all at once.
there, but from BOTH, from the heavens, born out of celestial bodies, because this question of home is like any other question: not meant to be answered immediately. No need to create a chasm where there doesn’t need to be one. No need to buy into the illusion of separation. Chew on it. Spit it out. Let the pieces dry out in the sun and see what new messages arise for you.
Thank you, heart. Thank you, heart. Thank you, heart. Thank you, body. Thank you to all of the trillions of cells that comprise my body. Thank you to all of the microorganisms within my microbiome that comprise and inform my intuition, perception, consciousness. I create a home where it is safe and possible to speak my truth, where it is safe and possible to make love again, where it is safe and possible to dream bigger and bigger knowing, where it is safe and possible to dissent, ask questions, say NO, ask for more time, ask for space, trusting that we all have equal access to this spaciousness. Space, more space…there is more space in this body. Space, more space…there is more space in this body. Space, more space…there is more space in this body.
Turn and face inwards, they say. WE HAVE TO GO NOW! MOVE!
Move and surrender into the depths of yourself until you are born anew, molded through the power of your vision, distilled into the finest elixir that flows and flows and flows. Home is a nest that has all of the things I have ever owned, including journal after journal after journal of notes, feelings, emotions that I’ve carried since 2004. Truly, my most prized possessions, some of which I’ll offer to the medicine of the fire. The Redwoods are the place where I want my ashes laid to rest and isn’t death just another beginning? An energetic exchange between this plane and where we originally come from?
What if… There is nothing to solve. There is nothing to fix.
It is through compassionate awareness that the pat- terns and wounds shift.
A fractal within a fractal within a fractal. An embodied tessellation. When are we ever not time traveling?
What makes you angry? What if anger becomes home? What if any emotion makes its home inside of you for longer than it needs?
Let those around you surprise you. Surprise yourself. Spit it out! Choose to react and respond differently. Take your time. Let the noise settle.
No, but “Where are you really from?”
Therefore, I am never alone. We are never alone.
Move slowly.
It was a healing retreat that first brought me out to California, to the Santa Cruz mountains back in 2016, via an organization called Youth for Environ- mental Sanity (YES!). My life was forever changed, imprinted, awakened. I also fell in love. It’s almost
The Quantum Field embraces, moves through, and witnesses / archives everything. I’ve been there though. Sunken into the belief that I was destined to be alone. Sinking into that dark abyss where
What have you created an identity around and where is it located in your body? Who are you when you let those identities and narra- tives go? Who taught you to be afraid of your gifts?
Let the silence rattle you from within and allow its presence to give way to clarity of direction illuminat- ing where you need to be. Home is within you. Home is in the choices you make or don’t make. Home is the things you didn’t get to say. Home is wherever you decide to go. Home is now. You are never disconnected. On my 30th birthday, I called my parents and my dad said, “Remember that the only one imposing limita- tions on you and what you think is possible for your life is you .” My heart cracked open and I have not been the same ever since. ESTRELLX SUPERNOVA (they/them) is a queer, non-binary AfroIndig- enous choreographer, performer, and healer whose roots extend into Guatemala/Belize, Angola, Portugal/Spain and other diasporas. Estrellx is the Founder of an entrepreneurial and emergent ecosystem called Estrellx Supernova & The Cosmic Angels / The School(s) of Tenderness. Estrellx integrates club spaces as sites of generative dissonance and implements [task as meditation, divergent simultaneity, Qi Energetics, divination, and somatic work] into their ritualistic performative language. Estrellx frames choreography as embodied excavation and asks, “What do you really want and how exactly do you want it? Are we celebrating or mourning or both? How do we work with what we have to redesign how we do everything? How do we prepare for the not yet seen?” [IG: @corporealidades.sutiles]
Move and surrender into the depths of yourself until you are born anew, molded through the power of your vision, distilled into the finest elixir that flows and flows and flows.
Move slowly.
It is time to source the courage and become the person who fully and unapologetically embodies the energy you have been afraid of your entire life.
as if the Redwood grove had been waiting for me to arrive. I could tell that sacred magic had happened there prior to my arrival. This retreat marked the very beginning of my turning inwards and facing the parts of myself that I had banned and deemed unworthy of love. The sensation and feeling of exorcizing trauma out of my body during this retreat is one that I’ll never forget, that I’m forever grateful for, and bring- ing into everything that I do moving forward. What does it mean for a place to acknowledge and open its arms towards us? What other forms of com- munication exist and are available to us outside of the verbal-English-dominated paradigm? This is why I continue to be with and integrate movement, chore-
the only person I could scream out for was my mother who was thousands of miles away. I’m certain now that she could hear my cries and was moved to pray for me.
Move slowly.
Home is created in the moment by those who choose to show up for one another and who decide to use whatever is available to them to create a support sys- tem that can withstand any storm.
The darkness. This is home too. Because it is through fecundity, that growth makes its way towards the light.
Exchanging Exchanges Exchange The exchange of fluids, of energy, of glances, of the gays and the gaze.
No need to give any explanation. You are welcome to come exactly as you are.
To come through and luxuriate in the power of pres- ence, in the power of the breath of life that pulses through each one of us, through the drum beats of the heart.
I am at home within my own definition of what it means to be queer, of what it means to be neither from here nor from
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In Dance | May 2014 | dancersgroup.org
u n i f y s t r e n g t h e n amp l i f y u n i f y s t r e n g t h e n a p l i f y
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