The Mystery of the Missing Teeth CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE? As Canadian resident Phil Bailey was preparing to take a shower one morning, he took out his dentures and set them near the bathroom sink. But when he got out of the shower, the dentures were nowhere to be found! He and his wife searched for hours, but as the time for work grew nearer, Phil was forced to leave the house toothless. He spent the rest of the week that way. During one of his frustrated commutes to work, he started to suspect that either his son was pulling a prank on him or that his cat, named Herbert Spencer, had sneaked into the bathroom, stolen his dentures, and hidden them somewhere in the house. Later that weekend, Phil (still toothless) traveled to the Tournament of the Bands to watch his son’s high school marching band compete. Unable to hide from friends and family his embarrassment at having lost his dentures, he explained his suspicion about Herbert Spencer’s possible mischief. One of his son’s classmates retorted, “What’s the matter, Mr. Phil? The cat got your teeth?”
or other mementos could end up having just as much of an impact as the gift itself. It will also let the child know that you’re thinking of them, which is especially meaningful when you can’t spend the holidays together. STEP 5: HAVE FUN Buying gifts for your grandkids should be a joyful experience and a way to express your love. That’s what matters most of all.
A SIMPLE BRINE FOR SUCCULENT TURKEY
No matter how you cook your bird for Thanksgiving, it will taste better if you brine it beforehand. Break out your biggest cooler and some ice to ensure that your guests rave about your turkey.
Ingredients
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3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons kosher salt
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2 large sprigs thyme
The following week, Phil finally found his dentures. His son was settling in on the couch to watch TV, and as he went to wrap himself
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2 bay leaves
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3/4 cup sugar
in an afghan, he felt something hard hit his hand. Lo and behold, Herbert Spencer had buried the teeth in the blanket. In the years after the dentures incident, the rogue cat stole many other small but important household items from Phil. In fact, the villainy occurred so often that Phil threw out the afghan to rob the cat of his favorite hiding spot. Now Phil holds on tightly to his teeth, just waiting to see what Herbert Spencer decides to purloin next.
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1 tablespoon black peppercorns
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1 carrot, peeled and diced
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1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes 1/4 teaspoon fennel seeds (optional)
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1 large onion, peeled and diced
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1/4 cup celery, diced
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Directions
1. In a large stock pot, bring salt, sugar, and 4 cups water to a boil. Stir until all ingredients are dissolved. 2. Turn off heat and add remaining ingredients. Place brine in the fridge, uncovered, until cold. 3. Add 6 quarts cold water to brine. Add turkey and submerge completely. Brine chilled for up to 72 hours. Inspired by Bon Appétit magazine
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