Check out the latest edition of our newsletter!
AUGUST 2023
564.212.2733 pnwfamilylaw.com
The Secret to Conquering Any Challenge
It feels fitting that Aug. 1 is National Mountain Climbing Day because I’m writing this newsletter about a week before hiking Mount St. Helens with my 17-year-old twin boys. Any outdoor enthusiast will tell you that preparation is the secret to a successful adventure. Before setting out, you must prepare your mind, body, and supplies. It’s a lesson I learned many years ago when my high school youth group visited the Grand Canyon. I grew up in an area of Arizona devoid of mountains, but we had plenty of canyons. Canyoneering is popular and essentially the inverse of mountain climbing. The difficult, uphill part comes at the end. My friends and I had different ways of preparing. Some of us took shorter hikes or rock climbed. Others worked on their cardio by running. And a few sat around and played video games. But we all had to learn how to pack our gear properly. Having what you need correctly balanced and adjusted for your size is crucial to avoiding injury and returning in one piece. We had a good time hiking to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. It was a long and hot journey, but at least we were going downhill. Unfortunately, not everyone realized how much more challenging the climb back up would be, but I was prepared. I’d played a bit of a dangerous game going down. While there were all types of supplies I could have brought, I mostly limited myself to my sleeping bag and food. I finished the last of my food the morning we were to head back up, so there was nothing in my pack but my sleeping bag. The rest of my group was left lugging up most of what they’d brought down. The climb up was still a struggle — even carrying nothing, the long, uphill hike was hard work. But I finished the journey faster than all of my friends. While
they struggled and lagged behind, I kept up with the guide and was the first back to the top.
At the end, the guide congratulated me and shook my hand. “How did you do that?” he asked. At the same time, he helped me remove the pack from my back and felt how little it weighed. “Oh,” he said. “Now I see!” Nothing beats being prepared, and climbing up a mountain (or canyon) is a lot like tackling any challenge in life. You must plan for any obstacle you might face. In addition to the right supplies, you also need mental fortitude. Otherwise, it’s easy to give up when things get hard. But most importantly of all, you need a guide who can provide you with advice and ensure you’re headed in the right direction. As family law attorneys, we follow those same principles; we are the guide for our clients. It’s our job to help them prepare for the tough times ahead. We want them to know what to expect and have the tools to survive so they’re not burdened with a heavy backpack on a 10-mile uphill hike. That doesn’t mean the climb will be easy, but we ensure they make it to the top.
–Zachary Ashby
pnwfamilylaw.com | 1
‘BUT I DID THIS WITH MY KIDS!’ How to Set Boundaries With Your Family
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, so when you become a parent, you’ll likely employ techniques you learned from family or friends and what you learned on your own. Naturally, these techniques and your preferences may differ from what your loved ones did for their children, and sometimes, it can be difficult for them to adjust. Because of this, how do you set boundaries with family members regarding your children? BE DIRECT WHEN COMMUNICATING BOUNDARIES. Don’t assume your loved ones know or understand your parenting style. Instead, clearly state your rules, values, practices, and expectations when others are around your children. When
creating physical boundaries, you can say, “Please don’t give my child soda when they visit. That’s something I don’t want them to have.” For emotional boundaries, you can say, “Please don’t force my child to hug you. If they refuse, give them their space without compromising their feelings and comfortability.” DEVELOP A STRATEGY FOR HANDLING PUSHBACK. “I did this with my kids, and they turned out fine!” You may have heard this quote when vocalizing your wishes to loved ones about how to treat your children. If they question your tactics, practice what you will say so you’re not caught off guard. But most importantly, remember why you’re establishing these boundaries and upholding those values.
If your loved ones fail to respect your wishes, don’t be afraid to reinforce those boundaries — it’s okay to say no! GIVE YOUR FAMILY TIME TO ADJUST. Changing and creating new habits is challenging, so give your loved ones time to adjust to your boundaries. However, if you’re continuing to reinforce your wishes and still meeting pushback and disrespect, it’s okay to distance yourself or cut ties. You have to put what’s best for you and your family first. If you have any questions or concerns about establishing boundaries with your loved ones, contact a marriage and family therapist to assist you. They can provide more insight and resources to help you during this time.
Common Causes of Co-Parenting Conflict
The start of the school year is a big transition for any family, but new routines can be especially challenging for divorced co-parents. There are plenty of opportunities for disagreement over pickups, drop-offs, extracurricular activities, grades, and more. Ideally, co-parents put aside their differences to do what’s best for their children, but many arguments end up in a family law attorney’s office. Parents disagree on all types of school issues, from clothes to vaccinations, but the most common is sports. When co-parents have differing opinions on whether their child participates in contact sports like football, the conversation can quickly get heated. Thanks to practice and games, sports are the extracurricular activity most likely to disrupt parenting plans — especially if the child is in a travel league.
slips go unsigned, and parents don’t learn of after- school events until it’s too late. We recommend getting ahead of these problems by preparing for them before they occur. Establish routines to avoid confusion and create a shared school calendar all parties can access. Schedules can also pose a problem. Ideally, every parenting plan should include details on custody both during the school year and breaks. If there are changes in parenting time, it could be emotional for parents and children. Meanwhile, a parenting plan that doesn’t address school schedules is a recipe for conflict. Discipline and performance expectations are another common issue. One parent that expects a child to do all their homework and another that lets them skip it will only confuse kids. Try to set consistent rules across households so your children know what to expect. Further, a savvy kid can manipulate differences to
Many other issues trace back to a failure to communicate. Notes from teachers get lost, permission
2 | 564.212.2733
TAKE A BREAK
Raising a child is supposed to be a partnership, so it’s frustrating when your co-parent doesn’t make child support payments on time. In addition to being unfair, withheld child support can cause substantial financial hardship for the custodial parent. They naturally want to do everything possible to ensure payments resume, and some are willing to take drastic action. To many custodial parents who aren’t receiving court- mandated child support, access to the child can feel like their only leverage. Some feel tempted to withhold visitation with the noncustodial parent until support payments are back on track. But anyone considering this strategy should know that two wrongs don’t morally or legally make a right. Let’s begin with the best interests of your child. The failure to pay child support can undoubtedly harm them — but so can keeping them away from their other parent. Unless abuse is present, spending time with both parents is crucial to a child’s social development and mental health. Withholding visitation amounts to punishing your child for what your co-parent did. Courts also do not take kindly to the tactic. While a child support order is legally binding, so is your parenting plan. The parenting plan outlines both parent’s rights and responsibilities, including a custody order and visitation schedule. Failing to adhere to it breaks a legal obligation. Further, courts consider visitation and child support as two different matters. From a legal perspective, both parents have the right to spend time with their children, barring exceptional circumstances. Both parents similarly must provide financially for their children. One of these facts cannot negate the other. And just as you can take your co-parent to court over missed child support payments, they can sue you for disobeying the parenting plan. If there are to be consequences for missed child support, the court must enforce them. A judge can choose to garnish the parent’s wages, intercept their tax return, or implement other financial penalties. When a parent who can pay refuses, the judge can also hold them in contempt of court and send them to jail. The court cares less about what feels fair and more about the child’s best interests, but legal remedies are available. Do not try to handle child support violations on your own. Call us at 564.212.2733 to learn your rights and how we can help you secure the financial resources your child deserves . LEGAL SOLUTIONS FOR UNPAID CHILD SUPPORT Why Withholding Custody Isn’t the Answer
SOLUTION:
avoid responsibility, which is a bad precedent to set. It’s best to resolve matters amicably through negotiation whenever possible. But as children grow and circumstances change, your parenting plan may
require an update. It’s important to know the courts will not update parenting plans for frivolous reasons, and they primarily consider the children’s best interests. When making significant changes to your parenting plan, you should always have a family law attorney to walk you through the process. Call Pacific Northwest Family Law at 564.212.2733 for a consultation so we can help you secure a plan that works.
pnwfamilylaw.com | 3
1359 Columbia Park Trail Richland, WA 99352 564.212.2733 pnwfamilylaw.com
PRST STD US POSTAGE PAID BOISE, ID PERMIT 411
1 | The Power of Proper Preparation
2 | Boundaries Can Be
Met With Pushback — Are You Ready?
Common Back-to- School Co-Parenting Challenges
3 | The Pitfalls of Using Visitation as Leverage for Child Support
4 | A Guardian Angel Covered in Fur
We all wish our pets would be there for us in an emergency. Dogs, cats, and other animals can accomplish amazing feats when provided with enough love and care, and a cat from Liverpool named Willow recently proved that many times over. A cat’s sense of smell is incredibly effective at detecting when something is abnormal, and Willow used her nose to save her owner in the nick of time. For many with diabetes, falling into a diabetic coma is a constant concern, and they regularly check their blood sugar levels and take insulin shots to avoid that scenario. Amanda Jameson, a 51-year-old woman from Liverpool, received a diabetes diagnosis years ago but had always stayed on top of it. In April 2023, she fell asleep while her blood sugar was dangerously low. Thankfully, her cat, Willow, noticed something was wrong and sprang into action. Willow went to the living room, where Amanda’s husband had fallen asleep watching television. Willow proceeded to bite his leg and jump on him until he woke up around 4 a.m. He could tell something was wrong, as this was abnormal behavior for Willow, so he followed her to the bedroom, where he spotted his wife. She was slumped over and unresponsive, and he A Cat’s Nose Knows How Willow Saved Her Owner’s Life
immediately called her an ambulance. Doctors informed Amanda’s husband that she was moments away from slipping into a diabetic coma, but Willow had smelled something off and gotten help before it was too late. Most pets would get a few extra treats for their heroism, but Willow’s feats earned her a more prestigious award. The National Cat Awards named Willow as a finalist for their “Moggy Marvels” category. If Willow wins, she’ll receive a trophy, a £200 pet store voucher, and a year subscription to Cats Protection’s “The Cat” magazine. Although Willow likely doesn’t care about the trophy or the subscription, she’ll be happy enough with £200 worth of goodies and her owner safely by her side.
Published by NewsletterPro | newsletterpro.com
4 | 564.212.2733
Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4Made with FlippingBook Ebook Creator