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FAMILY FORUM
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SEPTEMBER 2020
REMEMBERING ADE LETAI The Time My Grandma Wished She Had My Boyfriend
T he first time my grandmother saw Myles, it was in a picture of him and me dressed up on a night out. At that point in time, Myles and I were dating. As soon as my grandmother saw the picture, she grabbed it, held it to her chest, and gushed, “Who is this ?” I gulped and started telling her about Myles, which was our first conversation of that sort ever.
of things were certainly lost in translation, I loved being with her and making her feel comfortable, just like she did for me.
Though Ade and I spent a lot of time together, I never felt able to talk to her about big
picture things kids need to talk about with trusted adults, such
as dating, love, and sex. In the culture Ade grew up in, dating was not common, and living with a significant other prior
My grandmother, Letai Woldu (leh-TIE wuhl-DOO), was born in Eritrea in 1921. Eritrea is a small country in East Africa, and both my parents were born there. I always called my grandmother “Ade” (ah- DEH), which means “mother” in
to marriage was even less common. Typically, in her
culture, women either married the first man who expressed interest in them, or other relatives coordinated an arranged marriage with little to no input from
Tigrinya, the main language. For as long as I can remember, Ade resided permanently in the United States, and she
Grandma Ade
the bride-to-be.
absolutely loved it. Ade was the most calm and peaceful person I have ever known. In all my life, I never saw her get upset or even raise her voice. She was always joyful, accepting, and willing to help others. I have fond memories growing up with Ade. She and I would watch The Oprah Winfrey Show together when it used to air at 4 p.m. We would pre-game starting at 3:30 p.m., when I would prepare Lipton tea (her favorite) with two scoops of brown sugar and a few cookies on the side. By 4 p.m., we were seated and ready to watch the show. Ade didn’t speak much English beyond “yes,” “no,” and “thank you,” so I would do my best to translate what was happening on each episode. Looking back, I am sure my translations were dreadful — like when I meant to say, “This lady is angry because …” but actually said, “This lady pooped herself because …” Remarkably, Ade never laughed at me or made me feel bad for not speaking Tigrinya well. Even though our substantive conversations were limited, and lots
So when Ade first saw my picture with Myles, I was initially nervous (as silly as that sounds) because I didn’t know what she would say. I was shocked by her positive reaction and even more surprised when she wanted to meet Myles. On her last day visiting me in Colorado, Myles met us for lunch at The Bison Grill in Commerce City. Ade spent most of the meal quietly eating her soup and smiling to herself, which was how she typically acted around new people. Later that afternoon, as I drove her to the airport, I could tell she wanted to say something. It wasn’t until we arrived at the airport and I was helping her out of the car that I finally asked her what was wrong.
“Genet, I need to tell you something,” she admitted.
My heart rate was in overdrive. “What is it?”
“I really like Myles,” she said. “In fact…I wish I had him for myself.”
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GARDENING, GOLD, AND PHOTO SHOOTS
3 FUN FAMILY ACTIVITIES FOR FALL
It’s fall, which means social media will soon be saturated with pictures of your friends enjoying “classic” fall activities. Photos of leaf peeping, apple picking, and the occasional scarecrow run rampant. But rather than following the herd, you can make your family the trendsetter of unique fall activities! Here are a few outdoor endeavors your family will love. Get gardening. Fall is the time for harvest, but if you want to enjoy flowers in the spring, it’s also a time for planting. The cooler autumn air is easier on plants, but the soil is still warm enough for roots to grow before the ground freezes for winter. Tulips, daffodils, and hyacinths are all spring bulbs that need to be planted in the fall. Do a little research with your family to determine the best time to start planting in your area. Pan for gold. Here’s one that’s really off the beaten path: Take your family on an adventure panning for gold! Start by planning a road trip out to an old ghost town. Many of them have great tourist attractions that include gold panning. You probably won't get rich, but it will
still be a fun story. If you’re not able to make the trip, you can always create a gold panning operation at home! Visit MessForLess.net/ panning-for-gold-activity for a great step-by-step guide on how to go panning for gold in your own backyard. Plan a fall photo shoot. It’s time to freshen up those family pictures hanging around the house. The changing leaves provide a beautiful background for any family portrait. Better yet, the cooler temperatures mean that an outdoor photo shoot won’t be nearly as uncomfortable as it would be in the summer. You can take your pictures by the trees in the front yard or make a daytrip of it. What about pictures at the corn maze or pumpkin patch? It’s never too soon to start planning this year’s holiday card.
Spend this fall outdoors and create great new memories with your family!
impacting our memories. Research from Harvard, Oxford, King’s College London, and Western Sydney University all confirm this: Too much internet use is a bad thing. Of course, it can be easier to delete a social media app than it is to eliminate other types of stressors. Coping with a stressful coworker, for example, can be difficult. You have to figure out why they’re causing you stress and how the situation can be remedied. Dealing with a work-related confrontation can be hard, but having that difficult conversation and resolving the problem can ultimately lead to less long-term stress and improve your mental health. Another thing you can do to reduce stress is avoid multitasking. Taking on multiple projects or doing too much in too little time can leave you feeling overworked. Plus, studies have found that multitasking is not effective. You cannot deliver the same results when your attention is scattered as you can when you are focused on one thing. To make matters worse, multitasking takes a major toll on memory and cognition, according to a study from Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. If stress is impairing your memory, judgment, or cognition, take the above steps to reduce it. If you find your memory and cognition aren’t improving, consider speaking with a mental health professional to discuss your best next steps. Mental health and stress management are important, and the more we do to improve these areas of our lives, the healthier and happier we will be.
Stress can cause more than just a bad mood and low energy. Over time, mental exhaustion from stress can lead to forgetfulness and reduced cognition. This can hamper your ability to do your job and enjoy life. Though stress is unavoidable, there are steps you can take to mitigate some of the negative effects of mental exhaustion, including forgetfulness. First, consider the source of your stress. These days, a common stressor is social media. If your feeds are full of bad news and negativity, shut them down. Many researchers suggest that spending less time on the internet leads to better health. Several studies have found that constant internet use, including time spent on social media, is negatively
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How do you know when it’s the right time to make a big life change? Some people plan things very carefully and wait to make a move until everything is in order. Other people prefer to just take a leap and hope for the best. Our new legal assistant, Markie Trepanier went with the latter by looking for a new career in the middle of a pandemic.
Markie joined the firm in June, while the world was still very much upside down, and we are so glad she did. Prior to joining us, Markie worked for a firm that dealt with collection law and creditors’ rights. “I really liked my previous employers,” Markie says. “But I wasn’t invested in the law itself. It was tough, mentally and emotionally, to hear people in those circumstances and not be able to offer them any support or sympathy. I wanted to be someplace where I could feel like I was helping people who needed support. I started looking for other law firms that were hiring. It felt like wishful thinking, since there was a pandemic going on, but I didn’t want to waste time. I was thrilled to find Johnson Law Group and to have Genet Johnson reach out to me.” As a legal assistant, Markie plays a huge part in helping the firm maintain strong communication between our team members and our clients. She helps new clients start off on the right foot and is responsible for checking in weekly with current clients to make sure they understand the next steps in their case. “Everyone has been so welcoming, and I’m a lot happier here. The firm is upbeat and invested in taking care of their clients and each other. It’s so obvious how much they care. No one is just another case number. If you’re in a family law case, it can be mentally and emotionally draining. At Johnson Law Group, every client is a unique person, and the firm works hard to make sure their needs are met and that the process is as easy as possible.” In addition to starting a new job, Markie also used the pandemic as an opportunity to start a new hobby. She recently got into making candles, and not to sound biased, but her creations are delightful. We’re very fortunate to have Markie and her passion for helping others on our team!
MINTY CARROT TOP PESTO Inspired by YupItsVegan.com
Pesto may sound like a fancy ingredient on restaurant menus, but you can make it at home in minutes! This vegan recipe is a great way to use spare carrots tops, and it tastes delicious as a pasta sauce (thinned with water) or a cracker spread.
Ingredients
• 1 large bunch carrot tops • 1 clove garlic, chopped
• 1/4 cup fresh mint • 4 chives, chopped
• 2 tbsp red wine vinegar • Salt and pepper to taste • 3 tbsp olive oil
Directions
... continued from Cover
Hearing this confession from my conservative grandmother, I laughed so hard my stomach was still sore on my drive back home! Even though Ade and I had different upbringings and outlooks, her support for my relationship showed me the beauty of unconditional love. It didn’t matter to her that I was following a very different path than she did: She knew I was happy, and that is all that mattered to her. While visiting relatives in Seattle, Ade (93), passed away the day after Christmas of 2014. I miss her dearly and often picture how, if she were still here, she would laugh at our toddlers' mannerisms and hold them tenderly in her arms. Even though our kids did not get to meet this angel of a woman, we cannot wait to tell them all about her and how she freely gave me her blessing when I needed it most. –Genet Johnson
1. To blanch the carrot tops, bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Meanwhile, prepare a large bowl of ice water. Remove the stems from the carrot tops and add the greens to the water. Boil for 3 minutes, then drain the water and dunk the tops in ice water. When they’re cool, wring out the extra liquid. 2. Use a food processor to blend the carrot tops and all other ingredients except olive oil. Add 1 tbsp of olive oil at a time to the food processor and blend until the pesto is smooth. Taste and serve!
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JohnsonLGroup.com 720.452.2540
13599 East 104th Avenue, Suite 300 • Commerce City, CO 80022
INSIDE
The Unconditional Love of a Grandmother
3 Fun Family Activities for Fall
Is Stress Making You Forgetful?
Markie Takes a Leap!
The Good News!
Minty Carrot Top Pesto
Adventures in Your Own Backyard
SUMMER’S NOT OVER YET
Explore Denver with Your Family
Looking for a weekend adventure your whole family will enjoy? Denver is full of great opportunities for a memorable day.
Make Your Own Art Tour Denver is well-known for its natural wonders, but the city is also home to some pretty cool human-made landmarks. Denver’s public art collection contains over 300 pieces scattered all across the city. From beautiful murals and statues to bold architectural design, there are plenty of sights that will make you stop and say, “wow.” Plan your tour to include some of Denver’s most unique, eye-catching sights. Find a few of these photo-ready hotspots at Denver.org/things-to-do/denver-arts-culture/public-art/ . Enjoy a Picnic Any amount of outside time is good for our health. Picnics are a great way to help your whole family get some fresh air and vitamin D. Don’t have time to pack a whole picnic? Feel free to get some food to-go from your favorite restaurants. On a picnic, what you eat is less important than where you enjoy the meal — ideally outside! If you’re
not sure where to bring your picnic basket, check out The Denver Post's list of picnic-friendly parks at dpo.st/3gT7pNO . P.S. Myles and Genet’s favorite is Cheesman Park. They got married there! Go for a Bike Ride Take advantage of the nice weather to enjoy a little outdoor recreation with the family. Bike rides offer a good workout and a little peace of mind. Denver has over 196 miles of on-street bike lanes and many more gorgeous bike trails. To find a list of the great biking trails in our area, visit Denver.org/things-to-do/sports-recreation/bike-trails .
Check local health and safety guidelines before planning your next outing.
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