be asked will only be for the highest good of both.” Again, adjustment is necessary in the day-to- day companionship of marriage. Some young peo ple are so bound up in each other that they be come cut off from their friends, their families, and their Christian responsibilities in the church. On the other hand, it is very easy in the rush of life — particularly when there are small children, or the husband has a busy job and many outside responsibilities—to miss just being alone together, enjoying each other’s company. What joy there is in this companionship! It has been aptly caught by Jan Struther in one of her essays on Mrs. Mini ver, A Pocketful of Pebbles: “ Enchanted, Mrs. Miniver put the incident into her pocket for Clem. It jostled, a bright pebble against several others. She had had a rewarding day. And Clem, who had driven down to the country to lunch with a client, would be pretty certain to come back with some good stuff too. This was the cream of marriage, this nightly turning out of the day’s pocketful of memories, this deft ha bitual sharing of two pairs of eyes, two pairs of ears. It gave you, in a sense, almost a dou ble life, though never, on the other hand, quite a single one.” Not only is there the enjoyment of quiet com panionship in the evening together, but equally such companionable understanding can be experi enced in a crowd. Mrs. Miniver gives us another example at a large dinner party: “ Clem caught her eye across the table. It seemed to her sometimes that the most im portant thing about marriage was not a home or children or a remedy against sin, but simply there being always an eye to catch.” On the spiritual level, for two committed Chris tians, adjustments should be few and easy to make. Both will want to play their full part in their local church. But just because one of the dangers com mon to every aspect of marriage is that o f getting into a rut, this can easily happen in one’s Christian life. The help, encouragement and spiritual chal lenge which one partner can be to the other is (or should be) a real help in avoiding such a rut. Again the devil is very clever, and all too easily chokes our Christian lives by making us so busy in our jobs, in running our homes, in looking after our children, and in helping others, that there is no time for the quiet meditation, prayer and Bible study which are essential if our Christian lives are to flourish and grow and be attractive for the Mas ter whom we profess to serve. This is a chapter from the hook This Year Next Year Sometime . . . 1 by David and Mary Mullins, sponsored by the Inter-Varsity Press, ISO North Wells Street, Chicago, Illinois 60606. qu
to give it. He should spend time with his wife, and plan for them to be alone together at not too in frequent intervals. This principle of mutual consideration is true in every part o f married life. It is true, for in stance, of the husband’s job as head of the house, and of his wife’s promise to obey him. We are glad that we had this word obey in our marriage service, though when we occasionally see the ty rannical pomposity of some husbands we can sym pathize with those who would omit it! But it is just as sad, and in these days more common, to see a wife who has lacked the unselfishness, the self- discipline, and the respect for her husband which would have enabled her to make him the head of the home. Again, the husband is sometimes too diffident or too lazy to assume the responsibility which he should, and his wife must of necessity become not only mother, but also father and leader of the family as well. A man should learn to over come this diffidence and lack of self-confidence be fore he marries; but his wife’s support, particular ly in the early days of marriage, will greatly help him. What happens if, after quiet and calm delib eration, there is still no agreement on a certain course between a husband and wife in a Christian family? We are in no doubt that the Bible teaches that ultimately the wife should submit to her hus band. Submission and subjection are the scriptural words. See I Peter 8 :1 ; Ephesians 5:22; Colos- sians 3:18. This should not conjure up a picture in our minds of a meek and mild submissive little wife with no mind of her own! Rather the picture is that of a wife whose self-discipline is so strong, and whose respect and affection for her husband are so great, that she is glad to submit her will to his when these are opposed. Of course, this submission places an increased responsibility on the husband to be wise and loving and understand ing if ever he finds himself in disagreement with his wife. As Mr. Parsons has said in his most helpful book, Your Marriage: “ If it is remembered that the man’s prom ise comes first, the saying of ‘obey’ by the woman can be an act of trust in the word of her partner. Although it is better to leave it out altogether than to risk gross misunder standing, there is real point in obedience. The man is the head of the house and he must make ultimate decisions, though they ought to be the result of joint consultation. He gives not only his name but also his sup port and protection to his wife. A man can not delegate his responsibilities to his wife; in law he is the one who is answerable for the family. There cannot be two heads. Where there is real love the obedience is something gladly promised because what will
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THE KING'S BUSINESS
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