T A L K I N G I T O Y E R with Dr. Clyde M. Narramore
Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a nationallyknown psychologist. Ha is the director of one of America's
ESCAPE FROM REALITY Q. I have heard o f the term, “ Escape from Reality,” hut I do not under stand what it really involves. I would appreciate your explanation. A. It is an attitude of looking toward flight or avoidance which an individ ual may assume with respect to cer tain situations. When the real world becomes too unpleasant, most people will seek some means of escape. Sometimes it is healthy to step back for a moment to take a good look at one’s situation. However, when a person denies the reality of a situa tion and substitutes his own fantasy in its place, he needs professional help. Healthy solutions to conflict must be sought in terms of reality, not in spite of it. God is the ultimate reality. It is useless to try to escape from Him. GERM-DIRT PHOBIA Q. My problem is a germ-dirt phobia. I had this somewhat as a child, but as I grow older, it seems to be get ting worse and worse. I spend most o f my time fighting dirt and anyone around me who does not clean up after work, or shows any slovenli ness, I just can’t tolerate. Any sug gestions or advice you can give will be greatly appreciated. A. Phobias, such as the one you mentioned, are defined as the fear of some objects or situations which, in themselves, pose no actual danger to the individual. Persons suffering from a phobia usually recognize the irrational nature of this fear, but are unable simply to reason their feelings away. Individuals suffering from phobias will go to great extremes to avoid objects which bring about fear re actions. The intensity of fear asso ciated with an object may range from irritating concern to serious distress and attacks of extreme anxiety. In addition to irrational fear, peo ple suffering from phobia may ex hibit physical symptoms such as backaches and other pains, nausea, dizziness and skin rashes.
largest psychol gical clinics— The Christian Counseling center in Rosemead, California.
Phobias may also come about through the influence of parents. A mother or father who has an extreme germ phobia may pass this on to the children. In addition to talking this type of problem over with a pastor or trained counselor, the Word of God will be very helpful to you. As you read it and put your trust in Christ and claim the power and vic tory which are at the disposal of the child of God, new confidence and serenity will flood your life. The promise, “ For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power . . .” (II Timothy 1:7) will become a reality, and you will realize that you need never be alone in your problem. IS IT GROSS IMM ATUR ITY ? Q. What is the reason anyone wants to ruin birthday, anniversary, or any other celebration when people try to make him happy? This problem con-■ cems my husband. He goes into a depressed mood when Christmas or any other happy times approach. It always results in making the occa sions sorrowful instead of the happy times they are meant to be. Is this a form o f self-destruction or is it gross immaturity? A. Your husband evidently is a per son who is quite deeply disturbed and insecure. He feels that he is un worthy of love, that he is unworthy of special things you do to make him happy. It is a form of imma turity and self-punishment. His fa ther and mother may have started making him feel unworthy as a child, possibly telling him he was a bad boy and that others in the family were doing much better than he. Perhaps nothing he ever did pleased his parents. He may have been sev
erely punished by whippings, or they may have vented their displeasure verbally, making him feel oppressed and rejected. When a child grows up in such an atmosphere as this, he may do one of two things. Either he keeps his frus trations to himself, turning all of these things inside until he reacts with depression, or he turns his feel ings toward others, taking it all out on them. His anger, resentment and hostility turned toward h im self causes depression. There are many spiritual truths which will help such a person to de velop a different concept of himself. When he realizes that God loves him, that He gave His Son to die for him and that he is accepted by God, he will learn to accept himself and real ize that he is a worthy person. Turn his attention toward the Word of God, especially I John 3:1-3: “ Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world know- eth us not, because it knew him not. Beloved, now are we the sons of 'God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.” Also, such a person needs under standing by those around him. He needs much encouragement. A child who has been psychologically dam aged by parents grows up with seri ous problems. When such a child grows up and marries, it requires special understanding and tolerance by a wife. Often the help of a pro fessional psychologist or counselor is needed to guide him into a better concept of himself.
24
THE KING'S BUSINESS
Made with FlippingBook - Online catalogs