Learning and Unlearning “Productivity”
When I first came to America for college, I was amazed by the incredible force with which my peers strived for career advancement or Artha, over all else. It was not until I was in graduate school at Harvard that I began to internalize the social norms of productivity myself.
I necessarily spent more hours studying than I thought humanly possible. And the more I became fixated with work productivity,
the more I began tying my identity, purpose, and joy to work alone. I attributed my self-worth to how "productive" I had been. And the prestige of Harvard and the rigor of studying philosophy only further heightened this sense of meaning and identity in my work. I slowly forgot that my identity and self-worth were multidimensional and entirely gave into the productivity race. I was now searching for my worth only my career achievements. Every pursuit beyond my career felt indulgent and trivial. Anytime I was "unproductive," I would feel this strange knot in my stomach. I felt it most strongly during enjoyable activities, like spending time with my friends or watching my favorite shows. This unsustainable drive for "productivity" was sucking the joy out of my days. To ease this compulsion, I attempted to contain my work and establish a healthy boundary with it. This interestingly brought me back to my roots. I learned that the effective way to loosen the grasp on one area of life was to simply introduce more dimensions to it, just as advised by the Purusārtha. This required me to be deliberate in seeking activities that fulfilled my moral (Dharma), spiritual (Moksha), and pleasure (Kāma) while continuing to build my career.
Expanding Priorities
Now, I am not advocating that we reject our ambition. Neither am I suggesting that we make drastic changes to how we spend our days. Running away from a present circumstance in search of "freedom" is yet another way to fall prey to overidentifying with a singular dimension of life. Instead, I am advocating that we change our mindset regarding what is "productive." I am promoting that we recognize that human need is multifaceted, and fulfillment is the result of embracing each facet. Productivity looks different depending on the need we are aiming to fulfill. By this token, resting during a break is just as productive as finishing a project. For me, expanding my priorities didn't mean that I had a lesser workload, nor did it mean that I cared about my work any less. It did not even change the amount of time I spent studying, but it slowly helped me create a boundary between my different priorities. When I intentionally pursued things that were essential for me, I stopped deeming them as "unproductive" or feeling guilty about doing them. For instance, as I prioritized meditation, I didn't necessarily spend more time meditating; however, I did stop feeling rushed and guilty during those minutes of meditation.
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